Does SDMB Moderation require an element of social reclusiveness?

It seems that some of the moderators are on these boards each and every day, for hours on end. Does it interfere with your social lives? Having to sift through each and every post in your particular forum, then moving, locking, or deleting them, plus commenting on threads that are of particular interest to you?

It must take up quite a few hours each day, right?

And what about work? How do you all make money when you are seemingly always on here?

Also, what happens if one of the mod’s wants to take a 2 week holiday? Do they ever?

Please note, I am not trying to flame the mod’s here, just curious about their lifestyles.

This was answered before, but I couldn’t locate the thread.
Something about having lots of time at Happy Valley Rest and Rehab. :smiley:

Social recluse! Hey! I’m sure my harem would disagree with that… Well, they would if I had a harem… OK, then, my girlfriend… Wait, no, nevermind… OK, just take my word for it, then: I’m not a recluse. I mean, it’s not like you’ll find anyone who knows me well enough to say otherwise.

Seriously, though, for most of us, the SDMB is our primary leisure activity. A few of us, such as myself, are fortunate enough to have day jobs which allow us to continually monitor e-mail, and pop in for a quick glance every so often. We do occasionally go on vacations (hopefully only one at a time), which means that the other mods pitch in helping out with that forum.

And, of course, it earns us the undying lust and adulation of all the beautiful, charming, sexy Teeming Millions of the appropriate gender. Please?

Oh, good. Here I was worried that y’all were a bunch of geeks or something. :smiley:

::ducks and runs::

"Neighbors said she was a quiet woman who mostly kept to herself . . . "

your humble TubaDiva

Social life?

Yeah, usually.

No, not really. If I have an appointment IRL, that comes first. I’ll inform my colleagues of my absence, and off I go.

Not a lot more than actually posting alone. What can take up a lot of time is the e-mails. I receive between 60 and 70 SD-related e-mails per day, from colleague moderators and the Teeming Millions. These all have to be dealt with.

I can’t speak for all, but I work about 55 hours a week. Sometimes I moderate during work hours, but often it’s not possible. Right now, I’m on my lunch break.

Sure we do! We just inform each other in advance, so we can cover wherever needed. Which explains why you’ll sometimes see a mod tackling an issue outside his “own” forum.

Having successfully escaped from the SDMB Clique, I your roving reporter Fenris will give you the true Straight Dope on
How Mods Find The Time To Do Their Jobs!
…because you demanded it!

Note One:
I have successfully penetrated the first layer of secrecy: I’ve gotten inside the headquarters of the Straight Dope Research Lab by pretending to be a deliveryman with a new load of “Sperm Tree” samples for Cecil. My ruse got me in the door, although I wasn’t able to get to Cecil himself. Just as well, I suppose, since he would have been able to penetrate my disguise in a heartbeat.

Note Two:
Looking around, I’m trying to find the entrance to the SDMB facilities. So far I’ve found a room filled with gold bars, a room with an ongoing hot tub party with a dozen or more bikini babes (“Oh…you’re not Cecil” one of them said in a disappointed voice as she put back the bottle of coconut oil…Does Mrs. Adams know about this?), another room containing a framed copy of the map to the Lost Treasure of the Sierra Madre (the real one), and a completely empty room, except for a box labeled “office supplies” which contained: a “Closed” sign for a 7-ll, a piece of the True Cross, a roll of what claims to be frictionless toilet paper, a sword labeled “Excalibur”, a small, handwritten pamphlet containing over 70 everyday words that end in “gry” and a love-letter/mash note complete with nude pictures from The Jersey Devilette to Cecil.

*Note Three: *
I can hear sounds of showering. Listening, I can hear Jerl Walker discussing reasons why shower curtains pull in when the water’s turned on. It sounds like he’s talking to Cecil himself! A chance to glimpse the legendary recluse! I’m going to peek.

My eyes! I can’t see! It’s like a thousand flashbulbs all went off at once. Cecil’s got an aura of light! It’s blinded me!

Note Four:
My eyes are recovering. But it was like staring into the sun! No wonder he’s never been successfully photographed.

I think I’ve found it. It’s a huge oaken door, hidden in the back wall of a broom closet. There are locks and chains crossing it and several signs say “DANGER!”, “KEEP OUT”, “HAZARDOUS MATERIALS” and, inexplicably “BEWARE THE LEOPARD!”. I’m going to open it.

Note Five:
There was no leopard.

There was dark, narrow stairway going down into the bowels of the earth. A dim yellow lightbulb hangs naked from a cord.

At the bottom of the steps is a door. I’ll look.

Note Six:
My. God.

The horror.

The Mods are chained to computers. Thugs with whips and batons stalk around the room like restless tigers, looking for an excuse to savagely attack the Mods.

I’ll try to record some of the ‘conversation’
Thug 1: ‘ey yew! UncleBeer! There’s uh dubble post in whaddayacallit, MPSIMS: yew got t’irty seconds t’ clean it up.
UncleBeer: I’m sorry, I’ll get it…I’m hurrying…Don’t hit me again!

Thug 2: Lookit dis one. Dere’s a doity woid in Great Debates. Who do we make geddit?
Thug 3: Let’s make Gaudere do it.
Gaudere: No. Please. I’m sooo tired. Please! Can’t I get a little rest? And I’m really hungry. Can’t I have food?
Thug 3: Get back to woik!
Thug 2: Youse had your ration of artifical gruel yes’iday. Ain’t dat generous enuff?

Thug 4: Heh. Lookit dat. He’s asleep. Just like ‘n angel. An’ during th’ night too. He’ll be punished. We gotta keep up th’ illusion th’t he’s fr’m…whaddayacallit…Denmarkland…
<sound of wood hitting flesh>
Coldfire: <cries out in pain> Aaaagh! I’m awake! I’M AWAKE!

Thug 5: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Looks like someone’s allowed a poster to ask “Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?” in General Questions. I am appalled. Maurice! Send one of my knee-breakers to…discuss…that question with the poster in person. You can use Cecil’s Supercomputer to locate him. Tell the knee-breaker that I want a…thorough discussion.
Maurice: You got it, boss!
Thug 5: Manhattan, Chronos. I am very disappointed in you both. The “Parkway” question is halfway down the front page and you haven’t locked it yet. Do we need to have another session with The Board of Education?
Manhattan and Chronos in unison: No sir. Sorry sir.
Maurice: Hey boss! Lookit this!
Thug 5: Yes, Maurice? What is it?
Maurice: It looks like this crumb-bum what posted the “Parkway” question is also a character what also posted about “How can we have Jumbo Shrimp?” last week…and he also said that he likes Feldman better. You want I should make an example of him? <sound of knuckles cracking>
Thug 5: You know I am the most tolerant of men, Maurice, but liking Feldman better? That’s too much to bear. Yes Maurice. That would please me greatly. Perhaps if his fingers were removed, he wouldn’t be so quick to post. And make sure you brand the words “READ THE FAQ” into his forehead.
Maurice: You got it boss!

Note Seven:
I’ve closed the door behind me and am quietly sneaking out, but questions whirl through my mind:

Can Cecil know this is going on? On one hand, Cecil knows everything. On the other hand, Cecil is the embodiment of all that is good and true. The only person who can unravel this riddle is Cecil himself, and I dare not ask him.

Until then fellow Dopers. When you post, think of the Moderators. Their hours of toil must not be in vain. Help the moderators: read the FAQ, read the Forum descriptions. Post appropriately. And pray for their souls.

Until next time,

Thank you and good night.

Your Roving Reporter Fenris

::clap clap clap::

Clap, clap, clap, hell. Standing ovation for Mr. Fenris.


""ScottiSmooches and ScottiHugs:: to my beloved Euty and Chronos!

Now, get back to work…break’s over!


Fenris has done it again. Good show, old chap.

Fenris, I am beginning to think you must be chained to a computer in a basement somewhere. :eek:

Another great job, though. :slight_smile:

I’m beginning to notice a pattern here… Every time Fenris mentions me in a post, Scotticher flirts with me :D. Fen, old buddy, how much would it cost me to get you to talk about me more?

You’re asking me to prostitute my art for fithy lucre??! :eek: I’m shocked, outraged and terribly disappointed in you Chronos. :frowning:
I dunno…maybe a couple o’ sawbucks if I cast you in a good-sized speaking part or a fin for a drive-by mention?



Curiosity satisfied.

whatchoo talkin about books for?

you should be *writing * them!!!