This is an attitude that my mother holds… If its true she must have an excellent character as she has been through quite a lot.
I disagree though - I think that all that suffering brings is pain - the character is not necessarily developed, but may be.
The question is; are there more or better opportunities to develop the character while suffering than not?
I suppose it depends on what your definition of a good character is - mine would be someone who is happy most of the time and spreads happiness more than anything else.
Mmm… it has been my experience that “Suffering builds character” is the viewpoint of those who are not currently suffering.
If one is suffering at the hands of another, then character is not built, not so much as the urge to end one’s suffering and inflict the hell out of it on the person who’s making one suffer.
If one is suffering as a result of blind luck, sheer chance, then perhaps character is built… depending on the amount of suffering, and the amount of time SPENT suffering. You know, a person can only take so much of that sort of thing.
If one is suffering in a group of people who are also suffering… well, it depends. Either the group pulls together to operate as a unit opposing the suffering… or the group promptly divides and begins preying on itself, as individuals seek to alleviate their personal suffering at the expense of the others in that group.
“Suffering builds character” is an absolute statement, a blanket statement, and these are almost always not to be trusted.
“That which does not kill you, only makes you stronger…”
“…but it hurts like the sonofabitch!”
Suffering only builds character if you learn from it. If you dont then the pain was all for nothing and it still hurt.
Depends on what you mean by “character” I guess. I’d say suffering certainly helps you develop empathy and sympathy for others, and cures you of hubris.
I would say that suffering does bring about charcter in some instances. For instace, my family didn’t have a lot of money growing up so I don’t take anything for granted. I think this built a lot of character on my part because I consider myself to be a kind and giving person. However, I used to work for a boss who caused a lot of suffering. He would stand and watch you for hours on end waiting for you to do something he didn’t like whether it was wrong or not was irrelevent. This didn’t build any character at all. All it has done is made me really pissed off at short Greek men.
If suffering results in a major depresive disorder, which often happens, one is sensitized to future stress(suffering), permanently reducing stress tolerance. & then future depression can occur spontaneously. We don’t know who will "grow " from external stress, & who will develop psych problems.
It’s not so much the suffering that builds character it’s how one deals with it that can build character. Actually suffering doesn’t have anything to do with building character, per se, rather it’s simply challenging situations, and how one deals with them, that can lead to character development. Any event that challenges you in some way and forces you to test your limits and expand your abilities will build character. I’ve always felt that when pushed to these extremes, to these places we’ve never been before, that we have the best opportunity to learn about ourselves and to grow. If when * in extremis * one takes the opportunity to learn or summons the will to do something difficult that they’ve never done before then character is built. If, on the other hand, one reacts to being * in extremis * by hiding, or retreating back to someplace safe and familar then character is not built, no matter how great the suffering. While suffering is often the result of a challening or extreme situation not all challenging or extreme situations result in suffering, but they still can build character.
As a personal example the experiences in my life that have, IMO, contributed most to my character development have been going to college and the travelling I’ve done. I wouldn’t say that I suffered either in college or whilst travelling, though I faced plenty of challenges during those times. I was forced into very new and different situations and am proud of the way I met those challenges, so I feel I developed a lot of character, even though I didn’t suffer.
I’ve also found myself in situations where I was suffering a great deal but didn’t, or couldn’t, learn anything or build any character as a result. Hell I’ve been suffering from a sore back all week but I don’t think I developed any character by talking my friend into giving me a shoulder rub last night. Sometimes we just suffer and that’s all there is to it, it’s only when the suffering is a side effect of a major challenge that we have the opportunity to learn and develop character as a result.
