Oh… er… well… Sister Cloris was on tour when that one was taken… entertaining the troops… yeah… that’s it…
I’ve got a few half-baked theories on this 72 virgin thing:
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They are hideous broads who couldn;t get any action on God’s green earth if they begged and /or paid for it (think Rosy O’Donnell)
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They are the product of all those hideous horrible abortions, but they’ve grown up into lovely young ladies (apparently there is a shortage of eligible bachelors in heaven, not unlike Anchorage Alaska, hence all the virgins).
For you naysayers out there who say, “Wait just a minute, the Almighty Catholic church claims that if a person is not baptized they will not go to heaven so how did these grown up fetuses (or is it feti) get there?” Two possible explanations: A) the Catholic church is wrong (God, if you’re reading this I’d like to point out that I am typing this under severe duress by the devil himself) or B) An aborted female fetus is in fact baptized by proxy if the mother was herself baptized.
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They are “Born Again Virgins”…you know, those girls who only got laid when they were three sheets to the wind, which of course doesn’t really count.
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Frigid gals who died before finding the true Nirvana
Just thought I’d help clarify things…
You are arguing from the premise that Islam and Christianity are the same thing.
You are the Episcopal Bishop of Seattle and I claim my £5.
Ah, thank you for I dunno…shifting?…my ignorance. 
Anyway, whoever is guarding the entrance will introduce you to the 72 virgins.
In modern day english they are the reception committee. Their task is to register you, interview you. You give them you entire autobiography and they write it into the Book of Life. In the absence of your failing body, you will have total recall and you cannot fake anything there. So the task of the committee is to write your Book of Life.
When it comes to your turn to be judged, the Book of Life will be opened as the Prophets of old have promised and you will be judged.
I can only hope your valor will prove you worthy to receive all that the Father has so that you can inherit it.
This sounds more like applying for credit with sears…
so, do I get 72 male virgins, or since I am bi, can I mix and match?
agreed … glad you are happy in your belief, but I don’t need a diatribe, just a cliffs notes will work. Answer the question. Naming your church will be a short little sentance.
/me giggles
So are they throwing in a toaster? gift card?
MODERATOR COMMENT: Please note that this is a thread from 2007, revived today by Brian o in Post #46.
It’s OK to resurrect old threads, I just want to alert people to the fact. Some of the people posting to this thread are no longer around to read or respond.
Que?
The OP in particular has not posted to the boards, other than the two posts in this thread from three-and-a-half years ago, so I doubt he’s hung around to answer further questions.
Some may think that Fear Itself and Wendell Wagner were correct that he was just a drive-by poster; but I prefer to believe that he ascended bodily into heaven. And nobody can prove me wrong!
No, It clearly says you’ll be met by 72 pedantic Nuns who want to hear all the details about you and your sexual misdeeds.
Just because I was interested in the answer to the question, I took a look. I despise any religion’s doctrine being misrepresented (Islamic or Mormon), by insiders or outsiders.
The Vasar character does not understand Mormon doctrine (if he is/was a member), though he used some Mormon words. (Mormons prefer to be called Latter-day Saints, after the official name of the Church – The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and call the church the LDS church in shorthand. Yes, we sometimes make “LSD” jokes, though the believers don’t drink coffee or alcohol).
Yes, there are many “faith-promoting legends” in the faith.
There is nothing in the Bible or Book of Mormon about virgins involved in God’s judgment (other than the 10 virgins in the parable). www.mormon.org is the best place to start if searching for correct LDS doctrine.
We do believe the resurrected Jesus Christ visited the American continent (the “other sheep” he mentions in John 3:16) and called 12 Apostles to minister in the Western Hemisphere (He really didn’t explain any boundaries in the land of Bountiful, He mostly repeated many sermons from the New Testament, implemented the sacrament of the Last Supper, blessed children, and quoted Malachi.)
Since this old story got resurrected, just wanted to correct any old misconceptions.
20truths.info is the best place to start if searching for correct LDS doctrine.
John 3:16 does not mention sheep. Read the book before you quote it.
Nowhere in the Book of Mormon does it call the 12 leaders of the Nephite church “Apostles”. That word appears often in the book, but only referring to the NT apostles. The 12 leaders of the Book of Mormon’s Nephite church are called “disciples”. Read the book before you quote it.
John 3:16 does not mention “other sheep”.
The web is full of sites by former Mormons bashing their former church. Why do you consider one that is poorly organized and looks like it was designed in the mid-90s as the “best” place?
Nice variety of interesting topics. Claims are reasonably well documented. Several Dopers have found it to be helpful. While I was going through my apostasy, I wanted to take some detailed notes and link everything to sources. Then I saw that 20truths.info had already done that pretty nicely. But if you know a better site, please share.
There are lots of sites where ex-Mormons can rant and where Mormons and anti-Mormons can spin and exaggerate. That one has a few facts and nothing else.
What is “The Book of Life”? Anything we have heard about under a different name?
Perhaps this Latter Day Hijack can be moved to its own thread in Great Debates?