In Illinois, you can’t renew a professional license if you’re more than 30 days in arrears on child support. When I renew my license every 2 years, I have to fill out a questionnaire that says, in effect, “Do you wish to renew your license? If so, have you done your continuing education? Are you obligated to pay child support, and if so, are you in arrears?” I checked them Yes, Yes, and N/A.
Women, BTW, are not exempt from the child support rule. If you go on http://www.idfpr.com and look at their disciplinary actions pages, most people would be surprised at how many of the people who are in trouble for nonpayment are indeed women.
As for nonpayment possibly leading to revocation of a driver’s license, that was proposed around here a while back, and one judge went on TV saying that if it was passed, he wasn’t going to enforce it, and I agreed with his explanation: “Any person who has so little regard for societal mores that they aren’t going to support their children is not going to stop driving just because they don’t have a license.”
This sounds weirdly risky for the guy. Think about it- what guarantee will he have that this will work? His ex-wife will sue him for child support, and have full custody of her kids (plus half of their collective assets, often including pensions, 401k’s, etc). She’s got half their stuff, plus the kids, plus he has to pay her child support.
There are situations men get into where their child support obligations do not go away even though their income goes down/other expenses go up. Flake on the child support, and the dads have a whole host of other problems (license renewal, wage garnishment, etc) to deal with. There’s enough men around these days paranoid about getting screwed over by their ex wives regarding child support its hard to imagine some men would be stupid enough to do this willingly.
Did any of them actually go through with this? When I hear people make rediculous claims like your peers I can’t help but wonder if they are trying to solit a reaction out of you. I mean the whole scenario seems weirdly tailored to try to piss you off.
When I hear people spout bullshit like this, I always ask myself, “Does this person truly believe in what they are saying? Or do they know I will get offended and dragged into a pointless argument that they themselves have zero stake in?” In other words, RL trolling. Been around long before people started doing it on the internet.
I have to say this sounds like gibberish you are pulling straight out of your rear end. That one crazy asshole might say this is plausible, but to say that “several men” said this as some sort of utterly nonsensical life game plan is insane. They only way this might happen is if they saw you as some sort of naïve comedy foil and were having fun with you.
There is a world of difference between men actually behaving badly in this way, which, sadly, I am sure happens a lot, and men planning to live their lives in this way, which must be extremely rare (for one thing, because anyone with an ounce of sense, even if they had no conscience, would know that it would be almost as awful a life for the man involved as for the woman). Then there is a huge difference again between that and telling female friends or acquaintances (or even male ones), in all seriousness, that they plan to live that way. It is hard to believe that that ever happens at all. Some men may be total psychopathic bastards, as well as idiots, but even they are not going to go round telling people that they are idiot psychopathic bastards, and revealing their ill conceived plans to screw people over to all and sundry.
Either you are making this story up, or you got completely trolled IRL.
I have no idea; I didn’t keep in touch with any of them after I left that job.
In one case, he said many times that his family had to briefly live in a homeless shelter after his dad left. I asked him, “Why would you want to do that to your own kids?” and he replied, “Dad got a 17-year-old girlfriend out of the deal.”
I have many times heard a man threaten or boast that if the bitch gets knocked up he will pull a runner. Intentionally impregnating with the plan to run and then return a decade and a half later, not so much.
Oh and it is way easier to avoid child support than most realize, sometimes all it takes is leaving the state. Shit I’ve known some guys that were child support avoidance experts, they devoted so much time to their hobby of screwing over their exes and kids.
For sure…with the big word being IF. But our OP is suggesting a different sort of scenario, one where the impregnation is a purposeful act, and one where the daddy has every intent to dump the mother and kid, to re-establish his fatherhood after the kid is eighteen so he can fuck her girlfriends.
I’m having a groundhog-day moment here…did this whole OP get posted before, including the “family in homeless shelter, but dad with 17-year-old girlfriend”-story?
I read an article from California a while ago, discussing DNA tests and mistaken paternity. The law in California pre-dated DNA testing; essentially it said that if the alleged father could not be found, sending the court documents to last known address was sufficient. Then if the guy no-shows, the default judgement against him is made, and if not contested within 2 years, can never be contested.
One guy pointed out the address they sent the papers to, was not even the address on his drivers license at the time, and he was making no attempt to hide. Several cases like this suggested the government department was deliberately misdirecting court papers either through laziness, or because an uncontested case was easier.
Another guy did not know until years later that he was being dinged because his current girlfriend opened the mail, got pissed off, and tossed the summons in the garbage without telling him.
2 years later, even DNA or proof that the person was not anywhere near to aid in conception - was irrelevant. The case could not be challenged by the fact that the claim was untrue. And of course, to collect welfare the mother MUST name the father, so they can say anything and if proven wrong six months later, simply say “oops, maybe it was **** instead.”
As for fathers who stop “co-parenting” - a lot are dicks; a lot are simply unable to deal with the BS - I heard too of parents that continually bad mouth the other, “convince” the child they don’t want to visit with the ex, etc. In the last few years, parental alienation has become a valid grounds for losing custody in Canada.
Many fathers just can’t deal with the hassle. Add to this, they may have to move for career reasons and the ex is not going to make it easy for them to get visited long distance.
Or two case I knew of personally, the new girlfriend/wife was not thrilled at looking after someone else’s child, even part time, and they simply did not get along. The guy then has to choose between his child and his new wife.
Every reason why the parent loses connection with the child has its own sad different reasons, not all of them the result of the departed parent being a dick.
Of course, my favorite case was the (gay) guy who donated sperm for a lesbian couple. Ten years later, one of the couple is getting treatment for cancer with Medicare, and the income requirements force her to go on welfare. The welfare department requires that all child support be up to date. They are forced to name the father or lose custody of the child for being unfit parent(s). The guy is hauled to court to provide child support. He claims they agreed not to, this was a sperm donation. The welfare department laws say only sperm donation through a valid medical facility (not at home with a turkey baster) qualifies.
IIRC, in the end, the guy was forced to pay up thousands of dollars plus ongoing support.
Morale - much as some drunken misogynist ramblings may be suggesting sadistic ruining of someone’s life, getting out of child support obligations nowadays is next to impossible. Carrying on with a normal, stable, decent middle-income life while weaseling out of child support, pretty much impossible.
There are men out there who will knock up women with the intent of having children. I know of one sick MFer who is 30, lives with his parents, has a long term girlfriend, goes out and gets another girlfriend and gets her pregnant with the promise of marriage and then dumps her. He has two sons with this method from two women he pulled this on. The idea was for the long term girlfriend to act as mother and basically steal the children, or so they, believe this or not, posted on facebook.
Possible? Yes. Occurred? Maybe. But I’d put the whole notion in the same file with people who say they plan to have kids to sacrifice them in satanic rituals.
I can’t construct a mindset that somehow wants kids, but is willing to abandon them to a life of single-parent poverty until it’s convenient to pick up the relationship. It verges on mental illness or at least extreme sociopathy.
I was talking about fathers who don’t co-parent while the children are living with them, in many cases not even supporting them financially during this time either. This is a VERY common cause for divorce, especially if he promised that he would do that before the kids were born.
How common, exactly? I’ve never heard of a father in the home not supporting the children. I mean, I am sure there are cases of it happening but when you say “very common cause,” I would interpret that as being one of the most common causes of divorce - and yet I have never heard of such a thing, ever. I know many people with children who have been divorced (myself included) and have never once seen an example where the family was together and the father somehow did not support the family while living there and that’s why the divorce took place.
So tell me; how common is this? How do you know? Where is your evidence?
