It might have been the “thing to do” or at least, plan, back in the 60’s or 70’s… but in the last 20 years or so, the government has tightened the noose around dead-beat dads. Some of the things I heard -
-can’t get your income tax refund.
-court-ordered garnishees (duh!)
-if the ex ends up on welfare, the state assumes her right to the debt and to your obligation to repay the welfare paid, and will chase you for it mercilessly and unendingly
-the kids go to college, the court orders you to pay your share of the college costs.
-can’t get out of it with bankruptcy.
-court can even order payments based on percieved ability to earn, if they think you are deliberately shirking work to set you obligation lower…
-if they can’t find you, some states allow the paternity case to be sent to the “last known address” then decide the outcome uncontested - so hiding does not help.
So basically, having kids is a bad idea unless you plan to stick around to raise them. Your financial obligations (i.e. must pay for college) are a lot less in an intact marriage.
I have heard of a few women who basically demand the new guy adopt their kids - not so much a plan to “take the money and run” but I suspect as an insurance in case this second relationship doesn’t work either. However, in Canada for example, once the man “establishes themself in the role of parent”, whether adoption or even marriage happened or not, the man may be on the hook for child support… and as your income rises, the ex may go back to court to increase the amount of support.
There may be a few misogynist types out there who plan to marry or knock up a woman and then “dump the bitch” but odds are once they think the plan through, the deck is horribly stacked against them.
The only likey useful action like this is if you have dual nationality and can disappear to the other side of the world for a decade or two. Plus, seriously - do you think a long-lost dad who’s been bad-mouthed by the mother for a decade will be welcomed with open arms? Do you think a life on the run and hiding bank accounts will result in a dad able to buy Junior a cool car? Or even own one himself?
it might be a misogynist dream during a night of drunken rambling, but in the cold light of day the plan makes no sense.
Usually (experience with breakups I’ve seen) people enter a relationship in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout - then reality sets in, the rose glasses come off, the drudgery of earning a living and raising kids becomes more draining, and the immature or incompatible fall apart. then if the breakup is particularly bad, they each go after the other guns blazing - “I’m gonna take the kids”, “you’ll never see them again”, “i’m going to quit my job so you won’t get a penny”, court-ordered support, and so on.
And even more love their kids and don’t want to lose contact with them, no matter how bad the fighting with the ex gets.