My mother is determined to buy a stroller for our proto-pup. Mouse_Spouse and I have looked at some models and decided on one we like.
Mother has limited finances. She wants to go to a store that has layaway. (I’d rather she forget the whole thing, but that’s not going to happen.) The store that carries this stroller (a big box chain) doesn’t have a layaway program. I’m going to offer to buy this thing on my credit card and let her send me money for payments. If Mother has a tough month and can’t pay, I’ll be able to do it. (The card has a zero balance and the stroller is just a little over a hundred bucks.)
Mother’s mood is as unpredictable as the Rocky Mountain Spring weather. Does this sound like a good way for everybody to be happy? (or close to it.)
I think it makes a lot of sense to buy the stroller you want in whatever fashion is least expensive/least inconvenient and have your mother send you the money for the “payments” on the stroller. You want the stroller now, or at least before baby shows up. You can refer to the stroller as the stroller Grandma gave the baby, and leave the details out of the discussion.
I wouldn’t. Too many chances for misunderstanding or hurt feelings. When family members owe money to each other (especially when it’s emotional, like a gift for a new baby) things get dicey. Even if you are fine with paying for it yourself if she can’t, she will feel guilty if she misses a payment, or resentful that she owes you, or that it is the wrong kind of stroller, or something. Maybe suggest that she could buy something else, maybe start putting together a layette for the baby that she could buy a few pieces at a time as she has the money?
Otherwise she could start a savings account and save up the money and buy it later (how long until you are due?)
If she is money strapped and emotional as you say, I see warning lights here.
What is it about “stroller” that your mother is so attached to? Good strollers are expensive - and I’d REALLY recommend you buy one secondhand - we barely used ours (I recommend you buy as much baby stuff as possible second hand - you barely use most of it). My mother bought our stroller and I think she was always a little hurt about how little we used it (I’m a working mom in Minnesota “take baby outside for long walks” was not a frequent activity for us - and because I had two in such rapid succession - the single stroller wasn’t even practical after the first six months - and with two, we just didn’t leave the house with the kids very often).
I’m due in late September/early October. Mouse_Spouse and I were not planning on buying anything until July or so - our home is small and we didn’t want to clutter it with things we weren’t using.
There is plenty of time, but my mother wants to do this NOW. I’ve already put her off for a month. Maybe I can choose something inexpensive at a place that has layaway and we’ll use it as an alternative.
Beats the hell out of me. Specifically, she wants one of those “travel systems” with a car seat/basket that attaches. From talking with mothers of babies and some research, these strike me as very useless.
I’m not sure if she’s willing to listen to other options. We’re meeting on Sunday. My plan is to take a “let’s see what’s available” approach and delay buying anything and try to bring up other things she could do.
I’ve been trolling Craig’s list like a manic and plan on going to garage sales this spring and summer. You’re right, babies grow to fast to buy eveything new.
They’re very useful if you don’t have a car. That way, you can have people pick you up or drop you off places, you can take taxis, and so forth. They’re only good until about 12 months, though.
I’d echo earlier comments, even though it sounds like it won’t work with Mother- buy secondhand. My parents bought us a double stroller (side-by-side) for our kids when our youngest was a couple months old. I think it was over $300 and we used it, maybe, a dozen times. It’s been gathering dust in our garage for a couple years, so last spring my wife brought it in, spruced it up, washed the suncovers, wiped the thing down and it looks as good as new. She went onto eBay to determine a good price and the same make, model, and year of our stroller was selling for about $50. We decided it wasn’t worth it and offered to give it to friends that are expecting their 2nd kid.
As far as the compromise, I think your suggestion is a good one. You know your mom best though, so I don’t know how it will be received, but I think if done diplomatically it’s the best solution.
Oh- and those car seat/basket type of strollers are big honkin’ things; we found the small umbrella-style stroller so much more convenient.
Not a mom, but every parent I’ve asked about this has echoed the sentiment. Don’t bother with the big expensive one because you’ll soon learn to hate it, and instead get one of those cheaper umbrella strollers for like $30. My mom had a really nice big deluxe model with my sister (present from grandma), and hated it so much that she pawned it off on someone else and got a cheap ass umbrella stroller for $10 at Target. She said it worked much, much better.
If there’s no hurry to purchase, and no worry that the stroller (or “travel system”) will sell out or be discontinued, why doesn’t Mom just buy you a gift card to that store whenever she can? Say, every two weeks she buys you a card for $20 or something. When you have enough gift cards, go get the stroller. That’s basically the same as layaway, except they won’t be holding a specific stroller for you.
Well, you know your mother best, so thats really up to you.
But I had one of the big honkin’ stroller systems, and even in the first 12 months, it was worth it. Then after they grow out of the ‘pumpkin’ seat, I used it even more. I did also have an umbrella stroller for other occasions. I took whatever was needed.
Lets say I was only going to the park. Umbrella.
But when we go to the youth fair, or on vacation (its a big two week long festival thing) or anywhere we might be for long periods of time, we took the bigger stroller. It reclines for baby or tot to sleep, it has the visor, and a basket to put things in.(small cooler, extra diapers, small purchases.)
I did get my system stroller not only on clearance, but it was the display model, for something that ran over a hundred bucks, we ended up paying thirty for. And we’ve run the wheels off the thing, through two kids, and hopefully one more.
You really have to decide what would work best for you when it comes to strollers.
I loved my travel system and used it lots, but I don’t drive so it was perfect. I could go shopping with him in the top and use the stroller as a cart, or to store whatever I was carrying with us. The carseat part hardly got used as a carseat (except for the rare times we needed to take a cab or my Dad came down for a visit). It was awkward to get in and out of the car, but you can get systems that latch into a base in the car or onto the stroller. Mine didn’t have that (it was a low-end Evenflo model).
The carseat also got lots of use as a place to rock Velociraptor, and a chair when he first started solids.
Downsides, it is big and awkward. I got lots of dirty looks by people on the bus.
I do have an umbrella stroller, but we hardly ever used it because it was awkward for me (handles were too short and to get extensions would’ve cost MORE than the stroller) and the only time I use it now is when we go somewhere there will be lots of walking in case Velociraptor gets tired (like the zoo). We’ve used it way less than the bigger one though.
I really drooled over the Bugaboo’s at a baby show, but I couldn’t afford the price tag for one. (I don’t think I spent the cost of one total when getting prepared).
As for the question… well, I don’t know. It sounds like an okay compromise, but only you can judge if it would go over well with her.
How could she do it NOW if she was going to put one on layaway anyway? You still wouldn’t have the stroller until later. Tell her you don’t want a bunch of big stuff in the house yet, and ask her to buy it later when she has the money. Or tell her you want time to research them more or something. Consider it practice in standing up for yourself when it comes to your baby…you’ll be dealing with it more after kiddo is born Everyone will have an opinion and you get used to telling other people to deal with it anyway.
Tell her that you won’t get nearly as much out of a stroller as you are going to put into it (even if it’s stretching the truth a bit) and ask her to start stocking you with diapers. She can feel like she’s getting you something every week/month/however often she wants to throw a pack at you and you get something that you will use and can exchange as sizes change.
If she won’t go for this, I do suggest buying one pack of diapers and wipes every time you go to the grocery store. You can always exchange sizes as long as you haven’t opened them.
What else could Mom possibly buy/make for the baby?
If it were me I’d possibly develop a severely pregnant, hormonally irrational hankering after something less expensive but which ‘Oh gee Mom, I really wish I could have that for when Mouse_Offspring is here I just can’t afford it/have no clue how to make it’. Do that a few times and maybe she’ll work the conversation round to not being able to afford both but do you want the expensive stroller or the cheaper item.
If Mom can knit or sew pretty clothes for the baby you’d save lots and she’d feel included and wanted as Grandma Mouse. If not then some small but perhaps not 100% necessary item would be more affordable for her and a nice bonus for you.
I don’t get the importance of putting the stroller on layaway. If your mom is dead set on getting you this gift, why doesn’t she just save up the money until she can afford it. Is there a particular stroller she wants that will sell out if she doesn’t reserve one now?
My mother is strange. She wants to do this and it will take a lot to talk her out of it. Her temper is unpredictable, so I treat her with kid gloves because she can get violent. (Much to my shame and embarassment, I’ve had my ass kicked by my mother as an adult. She is bigger than me and I would rather take a beating than risk any time in jail. This hasn’t happened in a few years, but if she flys off the handle I’ll get a restraining order.)
Holy crap. I would say you have bigger issues than whether she buys the stroller. But you do need to learn how to deal with her on your terms. What happens when she wants to babysit and flies off the handle?
If you are seriously afraid she would go into a violent rage over a stroller then I would say go for option C: stay the hell away from her and keep your future baby away too. Good lord. Don’t have this woman indebted to you or be indebted to her for any reason.
Everyone will have an opinion and you get used to telling other people to deal with it anyway.