I dated lots of guys that made less than I do/did. Generally the guys I like don’t have money, just falls out that way. I never had a problem with it, though a few times they could get a little macho/hurt because of it. They would pay for a time and I would appreciate it, knowing what the money would mean. Presents from the soul and all.
I got so used to this that dating a guy who had money, who always paid, really bothered me. Seriously bothered me. That relationship didn’t last long. Partly because we had a few problems, but a major one was that I had to always consider if I was with him for what he could do for me money-wise. It made me uncomfortable to know that I could go to an art fair with him and spot something really classy and there was a good chance he would buy it for me. Was I looking for things I liked to see what he would buy, or was I just enjoying the world as I like to? Drove me nuts. He was so thoughtful, which didn’t help.
Even now, I’m thinking, “Okay, so why did we dump this man?” It didn’t work. I keep telling myself.
My wife currently makes more money than I do and in the near future she will make a great deal more as I plan to return to school as a Grad Assistant and then stay on to teach. It’s never been an issue.
I’ve heard of couples who keep seperate accounts and even divide up the bills but for us we’ve never seen the point in this.
My wife’s respect and love has never been contingent upon who’s check was biggest and if anything I am appreciative that she is willing to let me take this low paying job so that we well both be in careers that we love.
Actually, he DID have a boat, tho I never saw it afloat and eventually it rotted away. However, we have, in the last 17 years, owned 8 boats - from a jet ski to the current 37’ motorsailer ketch… did I mention he was my sailing instructor??
BTW, when I say I make more than he does, lately, there’s just been a small difference - <$5K… but I’m up for a promotion…
Mr. Scarlett has the higher income in this household – about 50% more than mine. But he’s watching my progress with great interest – I’m running two businesses, one of which is profitable and the other of which has a lot of potential. He says he’d love for me to make enough money to support him in the manner to which he’d like to become accustomed. Ha ha ha – I told him he could have as large a cardboard box as he wanted.
But seriously, he would love to play Mr. Mom if I made enough money – we both think it would be great. Both of us home, take time off whenever we want . . . In the meantime he remains a wage slave.
I do earn more than Roommate. Quite a bit more. There were time that Roommate complained that I was carrying the burden for both of us and felt angry. Truth is, sometimes I felt that way too, but we both worked through it.
Then again, Roommate was good about cleaning the house, doing dishes and laundry, cooking (YUM! - phenomenal cook) so when I came home from a rough day at the office, I could relax with the newspaper, my fuzzy slippers and a beer, and dinner would be on the table soon.
Of course, now Roommate has taken a new job driving cross-country (but I still make more), so now I have to make my own dinner.
I eat out a lot.
Roommate (who is very gracious and tolerant and encouraging of things I do) won’t eat my cooking (“Nothing personal, sweetie, but…”), so I’m certainly not going to subject myself to my own cooking: my attempt at Silver Dollar Pancakes ended up more like small change (didn’t know pancakes could crumble like that). Maybe I will spend some of my excess income (HA!) and take some cooking lessons to surprise Roommate.
