My ex-wife was insanely jealous to the point where I changed my personality and habits to avoid any conflicts. I would avoid normal friendly contact with women even when she would have no way of knowing I had any conversations with them. If there was an interesting story from work I would edit out the women I work with, even the lesbians. Yes it was a wonderful way to live.
She monitored my computer use. She had my email passwords. There was no Facebook then but I wouldn’t even think about going on to a social media site. She had spyware on my computer. I was ultra careful to not give her any ammunition. And yet she still found things to be jealous of.
Never again.
My partner now has no access to my email or my phone or my computer. She doesn’t have my Facebook password. She doesn’t care. She trusts me and I trust her. If that ever changed I would be gone.
We don’t have the passwords to each other’s accounts–neither of us is particularly interested. We trust each other, and it wouldn’t occur to either of us to think that the other isn’t entitled to privacy in personal accounts. I can’t even imagine wanting to check his email, or have him check mine.
He knows I’m on the SDMB but he doesn’t know my username and I’ve specifically asked him not to try to find me there, which he’s fine with.
I would never, EVER allow anyone to. I can’t even imagine trusting anyone not to enough that I wouldn’t have everything password protected. It’s just too tempting. Actually one ex went through my phone once and I wasn’t mad because I’m the one who left it there where he could see it. But this was before smartphones, so it was just call logs and texts and I didn’t really care if he saw those.
This here, with the exception that my husband (Shoujin) is on the SDMB. I was here first, and he got curious about that board I spent a lot of time on.
Occasionally he’ll ask me (mostly to be annoying ) what I’m doing/reading/whatever online. I gave him the passcode to unlock my phone, but it was just because at one point I needed him to look at a photo on my phone while I was driving. I don’t know if he remembers it; maybe he does. My phone’s rarely out of my possession so it wouldn’t be really easy to snoop if he felt like it. I’m not really worried about that.
Nope.
She has the numbers she needs in case something happens to me and I have hers. I pay for our phones and hers is hers and mine is mine. I don’t check hers and she doesn’t check mine.If she wants to assume the responsibility of paying for the phones, then she can look to her heart’s content. Until then, I have mine and she has hers.
As far as Internet: no worries there because we both think that Facebook is time-wasting garbage. She has my Netflix and Amazon passwords and she can order anything that she wants or look at my orders. I don’t want her email password because if I can’t trust her, then I don’t need to be with her.
Actually, mine has the passcode to my phone. He also knows the PIN for my personal bank account (because he usually makes deposits to it on his way to work). I have no worries at all with giving him full access to my finances (we have a joint account, and each of us has our own “fun” account–I know his PIN too).
So if he wanted to snoop on my phone, he could. He wouldn’t, though.
We have access to each others accounts. We have no secrets from each other, but at the same time, we don’t pry into each others stuff. There’s a mutual respect and trust there…if there wasn’t we wouldn’t be together.
I think my wife could probably figure out my password, I might have told her at one time or another and I bet I could guess hers. It wouldn’t occur to either of us to go through each others’ accounts and we both post about once a month to Facebook, so there’s not much of a point.
We know each other’s passwords (well, I know his passwords and I think he knows mine). We have the exact same iPhone with the exact same case except mine is dark gray and his is gray. Our wallets are almost identical too. If I have his I don’t snoop. It’s not out of respect more of a lack of curiousity.
I think that’s what it comes down to. We pretty much tell each everything that’s going on. We almost overshare. So, I think neither of us have a big interest in what the other is doing online or has in their desk etc.
My screen-name is easily searchable and my GF has found and read my posts on here and another messageboard. A couple of things she was right to be annoyed about - I shouldn’t discuss certain things in what is, despite appearances, public. Changing my behaviour there is a good idea for all of us.
A couple of other things were just taken as insults when they really weren’t. And it makes me feel like I’m being monitored. She will probably even read this. Hello, sweetie!
My wife regularly looks at my e-mails and IMs. I have nothing to hide from her, but I’m pretty absent-minded, so she likes to check if there’s anything of interest to her that I might have forgotten about. I don’t mind it at all, unless I want to use the computer at that moment.
She shows little to no interest in my posts on SDMB, and is only vaguely aware that I have an email account (multiple email accounts, actually).
However, every time I get the “ding” that indicates I’ve gotten a text, she wants to know who it is and what they’re about. If I go off to the bathroom she will look through all my texts, and ask for explanations. Ditto my Facebook posts and messages.
Why… why on earth would we? Why would you be married to somebody who didn’t trust you or who you didn’t trust? I mean, if he wanted my Facebook password for, I don’t know, looking up something and I wasn’t there to look it up for him of course I’d give it to him. But why would… I just don’t get people sometimes.
) what I’m doing/reading/whatever online. I gave him the passcode to unlock my phone, but it was just because at one point I needed him to look at a photo on my phone while I was driving. I don’t know if he remembers it; maybe he does. My phone’s rarely out of my possession so it wouldn’t be really easy to snoop if he felt like it. I’m not really worried about that.