Okay, this is beginning to make a modicum of sense. I get extremely tired of many restaurants. They usually have to be in the less-than-ten dollar range or the way-over-thirty clams arena. Anything in between is usually a gigantic disappointment because I can cook way better for a lot cheaper.
One question; Neither of you knows how to cook?
My lovers are usually rather happy to do the dishes after one of my meals. Then again, I also do all of the shopping as well.
Zenster, I can’t speak for the OP or his lovely wife, but I assume that when they get the rare childfree night, they are not interested in preparing, cooking, and cleaning up for a meal. They may want to spend an evening together and let other people do all the work for them…of course, after the Dance, it might be quicker and easier to just make some sandwiches. 
I have your problems solved.
If you have a palm pilot thingie, go to http://www.tealpoint.com/softmeal.htm .
It has a nifty wheel of fortune feature to it.
The tealmeal is brought out and specific categories are eliminated. What ever tealmeal picks is where you go.
The one exception: if someone complains about the choice, they are forced to make the choice, no exceptions. The other party can not complain as they had a say before the wheel picked the restaurant.
At Chez Baboon, this is how it works:
Mr. B - let’s go eat.
Me - ok!
Mr. B - I had Chinese for lunch, so I dont want that.
Me - and I had Mexican. Let’s nix that, too.
The mighty teal meal is brought out. It decides you will go to Chili’s.
Mr. B - oh man, I so don’t feel like Chili’s.
Me- you know the rule, then.
Mr. B - ok, then let’s do Texadelphia.
Me - ok then!
<fin>
Every time you leave a restaurant, take a carryout menu with you, if the y don’t provide them…snake a real one. Later when you’re trying to decide and persuade you can peruse menus of exclude them entirely. Entertainment books can also get things started.
Brilliant post Sauron, best one in the pit I can remember reading 
Yes…we both know how to cook…quite well actually.
We have a system, whoever cooks doesn’t have to clean up afterwards.
I am good at the dinner party type meals and he is great on the grill.
And to be perfectly honest, when we do have the ever-so-rare childless nights I really like just relaxing and not doing anything major.
He offered to see a movie Friday night along with dinner and I opted for just dinner. Then we can go home and watch a couple of episodes of BtVS S4 that he bought me on DVD for our anniverary!
We are so boring. I remember the good old days when I didn’t even START getting ready to go out until 10PM…now if I manage to stay awake until 10PM that is a great accomplishment.
Love this idea, but it leads to a great alternate. Have the Sauronii babysat elsewhere and then pull the take out menus out of the kitchen drawer. Hand her the menus and say “Pick one”. Then have her circle in pen what she wants, while you do the same. You call the order in and pick up the food. [While you do that, she can visit Blockbuster & get the movies] Wine is courtesy of ‘Che Wine Rac’.
Now, if you’re Really adventurous, wipe the toys off the coffee table, take a snow shovel & plow all the kids toys to one side of the room or the other and eat dinner in the living room while watching your movies. Of course that might lead to ‘hot monkey sex’ but that’s after the dishes are done…
Folks, I don’t think I’m adequately describing the level of “don’t care”-ness here.
We know what the restaurants have to eat. We have many of the takeout menus available. I occasionally arrange to have sample portions of the food flown in via helicopter so she can pick and choose based on actual representations. And we STILL do the dance.
I’m almost perfectly omnivorous. As long as food doesn’t feature the dreaded tomato, I’m good. For that reason, I can tailor my dining expectations to whatever strikes her fancy. Unfortunately, she usually winds up using her fancy to beat me about the head and shoulders at some point during our dance.
And I bruise so easily …
You know, I can completely understand this. I’m very omnivorous, and when Mr. K asks me where I’d like to eat, I genuinely do mean “I don’t care”. It’s only when he trots out suggestions that it gets modified to "I don’t care…as long as it’s not that one because of {I’m sick of it / they had cockroaches imported from Florida last time we were there / they don’t have anything either of us like / insert reason here}.
Or the place just doesn’t “do it for me” today.
Oh, and Sauron:
Anytime you want to ship all your Dreaded Tomatoes my way, feel free.
And you guys live with Orcs? How’d you get anyone to Orc-sit for you?
What is this “eating out with just the wife, no kids” of which you speak? I do not fully understand this concept, although there are vague tribal memories.
Mom and Dad do the Dance , too.
But they stink at it.
Which is why Casa Di’Chi is so…noisy…
While nothing more needs be said on the matter of Sauron and Aries28, and by association most couples, it being described quite well and thoroughly, might I add a couple factors to the equation?
I grant you, this is not the type of thing that goes on every night, like the “Don’t Care” dance. But toss in not one, not two, but four parents/in-laws, and you have the makings of the dread “Waffling Indecision Electric Boogaloo Hoedown.”
On a monthly, or sometimes semi-weekly basis, we attend these masochistic line dances from the fifth circle of hell. Mrs. Skeezix and m’self, my folks, and hers. Plus, of course, the Skeezling, though she’s the easiest of the bunch to handle.
“We’re having XYZ for dinner.”
“Okay. I have milk wit’ dat.”
But the six grownups involved? It’s like trying to get bi-partisan acceptance on a tax reform bill, on short notice. Someone will always hedge, stall, or remain unable to make a decision until homicide becomes a serious possibility. I could swear I recall at least one alamande left that was accompanied by drawn steak knives, but that could just be shell shock talking.
You take three couples, all of whom already dance the “Don’t Care” and throw 'em all together, and you damn near got cold fission.
Beautiful rant, Sauron! My husband prefers McDonalds to anything else, and I prefer really nice places to anything else. We don’t go out much.
I found this link http://www.discoverourtown.com/TownPage.php?Town=80&Cat=Dining that might point you to something truly faaabulous! Have fun!
Skeezix… we had friends that would dance with us. We ultimately would have to begin the dance hours before anyone was actually hungry to ensure that we would manage to eat during that session.
Even when it is just me and the hubby… I tend to start asking about dinner after we finish lunch so we can eat before the child melts. Heck even when we aren’t eating out we do the dance. Sometimes I just cook and serve and tell any dissenters they know how the kitchen works.
Sauron, she’s obviously Very pissed at you about something. And if You don’t know what it’s about, I’m not going to tell you… 
Baboon, we found a wheel of fortune thing, too! Only it’s not on Palm Pilot.
But after a particularly tiring dance one weekend, my Peanut did an internet search and found it. He sent me the link.
Of course, dancers that we are, we have yet to use it. :rolleyes:
Sauron, great OP, I really enjoyed reading it. 10/10, no cursing necessary.
The funny thing is, that it seems like we never go where it picks. The scenario is always: aw, I don’t feel like that place.
It does, however, make the decision making process much quicker. There must be something about seeing the list of restaurants that makes it easy to pick one.
Maybe you need to suggest fewer chain restraunts.
Chile’s is not the most conductive route to Hot, Certifiably Wild, Crazy Monkey Sex.
(and if I didn’t say so…Great OP!!!)