Okay, “Torquemada” is a bad metaphor, because I’m talking psychological torture rather than physical. Maybe I should have said “the Stanford Experiment.”
Anyway, the situation is A) Propose Horrible Thing; B) Take Horrible Thing Away; and C) Reinstate Horrible Thing. Which makes the horrible thing about one thousand times as horrible. I’m sure there is a lot of precedent for this.
Here’s the sitch, in hyperbole form:
Ukulele Lady: I have some bad news. Next Friday you have to get your arms nailed together at the elbows.
Me: What? What the fuck? Are you serious? I’m not going to have my arms nailed together at the elbows!
Ukulele Lady: BOO HOO HOO! You don’t love me! It’s imperative to my happiness in life that you get your arms nailed together at the elbows!
Me: Well, fuck that.
Me: Oh, all right. I’ll have my arms nailed together at the elbows next Friday night.
Ukulele Lady: Good.
Ukulele Lady: Well, you’ll be happy to hear this. I have a work complication, so you don’t have to get your arms nailed together at the elbows on Friday night.
Me: Oh thank god.
Ukulele Lady: I can get out of the work complication early, so you’re going to get your arms nailed together at the elbows tomorrow night after all. I’ll meet you at the arm-nailing emporium at eight.
I didn’t put this thread in the Pit because I don’t just want to bitch about my godawful wife; I have intellectual curiosity about the precedence for this sort of thing in torture circles, and am also curious about how you folks would deal with the situation if it came up in your lives.
BTW, we live on low floors, so throwing her out the window isn’t a good solution.