Same.
I think the author of the piece is wrong. I think we all mourn in our own way. My brother died a couple of years ago and the only thing I really said was Thank you to his wife for making him so happy and nursing him through a long illness. I think my brother would have approved. I said things to him in private and that’s good enough for me.
I don’t even want a funeral, much less any eulogies. Get rid of this body the cheapest way possible and that’ll be that. Thank you very much.
That’s the vibe I’m getting.
I’m not saying the sentiments are completely meaningless or stupid in and of themselves - it’s generally good to make sure you’re not taken advantage of or speaking up when you need help. There’s just something about the judginess of it and the lecturing tone that gives me bad feelings. Some people are just shit-stirrers, and if I had to place my bets…
I of course know things about my mom that didn’t show up at her funeral. I also learned things about her at the funeral, because she helped a lot of people I didn’t know about.
And, well, her hopes and dreams were all about doing things and helping people. After she stopped doing family work, she was a baby sitter, then a nursery worker, then a preschool teacher, then worked with kids with special needs. She could easily chat with absolutely anyone (having learned that from her father). She wasn’t someone who desired to be front and center.
I could see someone like the OP hearing the things said at her funeral and think the same thing. It’s rather presumptive.
Sorry we didn’t talk about, say, her taste in erotic novels.