[QUOTE=ivylass]
Last few times I gave blood, they swabbed me with rubbing alcohol. I was told they’d stopped because so many people were allergic to iodine.
[/QUOTE]
interesting, when we draw legal blood alcohol levels in the ER we have to make a point of not using alcohol wipes
[QUOTE=outlierrn]
Well, count me in your corner Johnny. Timing is important of course, and you don’t want to play it too long…
[/QUOTE]
Me think funny too. Not everyone can pull off this kind of joke. It takes a subtle combination of deadpan and hidden smile which is difficult to master. Oh yes…and common sense. Like don’t joke about the cop’s gun when he’s trying to coax you into walking a straight line, and don’t jokingly yell “Gas! Gas! Gas!” when you’re on patrol with your squad in a back alley in Baghdad…but the bloodmobile? Shoot, they should give you extra cookies!
I don’t really understand what’s funny about telling her you’re allergic to iodine. Is there a pun there that is escaping me?
That’s pretty funny. What I like to do is go to a new Doctor every year for my annual checkpoint. I stick a tennis ball in my armpit and while he’s taking my pulse I squeeze down on it and it looks my heart stops.
Then I roll back my eyes, and tell him to tell my wife I love her, and play dead.
Dude, it’s like so funny when they go running for the crash cart. Har har har!
[QUOTE=jsgoddess]
I don’t really understand what’s funny about telling her you’re allergic to iodine. Is there a pun there that is escaping me?
[/QUOTE]
It’s supposed to scare the phlebotomist by making her think she just made a mistake that might be fatal (because she just swabbed his arm with iodine).
[QUOTE=Scylla]
That’s pretty funny. What I like to do is go to a new Doctor every year for my annual checkpoint. I stick a tennis ball in my armpit and while he’s taking my pulse I squeeze down on it and it looks my heart stops.
Then I roll back my eyes, and tell him to tell my wife I love her, and play dead.
Dude, it’s like so funny when they go running for the crash cart. Har har har!
[/QUOTE]
I wouldn’t do that at a real doctor, or at a hospital, or anything like that. When I did it it was the school nurse. Actually I think it may have actually been an assistant. But anyway, this was a long, shuffling line of high school kids getting a basic blood pressure reading written down. She seemed confused, but not alarmed.
Please, don’t spray fear on the flea bottom girls. They’re underpaid for the stuff they have to do, and people’s lives depend on their services.
[QUOTE=AskNott]
Please, don’t spray fear on the flea bottom girls.
[/QUOTE]
Yep, this is the oddest sentence I’ve read in months.
flea bottom = phlebotomist… I think.
Want to hear something that is *really *inappropriately funny?
I got into a roll-over car accident earlier this year. I only hurt my hand (as it flung out the window), but shock being what it is I had no idea the damage done. All I knew was it felt a combination of numb and like a million glass shards were stuck in the thing, my pinky was all at odd angles, the whole hand was swollen, and it was bleeding like hell.
Doc: (his eyes actually widened when he said this, he was serious): “This is a very serious crush wound.”*
ER Nurse: “Looks like an amputation.”
Me: :eek: :eek: :eek: :mad:
It scared the living shit out of me. It was only after I’d had X-rays and morphine that I calmed down. I still think that nurse is a bitch for saying that within earshot of me, but I understand that the ER was very busy that day and sometimes you’ve got to have that black sense of humor get you through the day. It was still wholly inappropriate considering the context.
Johnny’s story OTOH isn’t nearly as alarming.
*For the curious, aside from some slight nerve damage and grip weakness, I’m fine.
[QUOTE=The Sausage Creature]
Want to hear something that is *really *inappropriately funny?
[/QUOTE]
This isn’t even funny…
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357338&highlight=baby+extra+finger
and for the follow up
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=358462&highlight=baby+extra+finger
Johnny, I thought it was funny. I’m a nurse, and if a patient pulled that prank on me, I’d laugh my butt off and tell all my friends. After I got over my mini heart attack, of course 
[QUOTE=The Sausage Creature]
Doc: (his eyes actually widened when he said this, he was serious): “This is a very serious crush wound.”*
ER Nurse: “Looks like an amputation.”
[/QUOTE]
Just a guess, but amputation is the technical term if your finger had been torn off, ie if the car wreck does it, it’s a traumatic amputation, if the surgeon does is it’s a surgical amputation. We call a miscarriage a spontaneous abortion as opposed to theraputic abortion (elective). Surgeons make stab wounds all the time. It’s possible that the nurse just thought your finger was mostly at the scene of the accident. Or they just might have been a bitch, I don’t know.
I’m not so sure it would be funny, as I am allergic to iodine.
[QUOTE=JThunder]
This prank is as rip-roaringly funny as the classic -gry joke.
[/QUOTE]
Another reader of xkcd.com I take it?
Other lines to try:
“Well, I had a bit of a scare a couple of years ago that they thought might be an iodine allergy, but it turned out to be Hepatitis.”
“I’m not allergic to Iodine, but I am allergic to my own blood. That’s why I’m getting rid of it. Sure you couldn’t use a bit more?”
“Not allergic to iodine, but I am, however, coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.”
“My god, you people still use iodine? Don’t you keep up with your journals?”
“No, I’m not allergic to iodine. Are you allergic to really bad farts? If so, you might want to step back.”
[QUOTE=Sam Stone]
“Not allergic to iodine, but I am, however, coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.”
[/QUOTE]
This is mine from now on.
[QUOTE=outlierrn]
interesting, when we draw legal blood alcohol levels in the ER we have to make a point of not using alcohol wipes
[/QUOTE]
In the case of legal blood alcohol levels you don’t want outside ethanol contaminating the specimen and falsely elevating the test result, and so you need to use iodine (or another nonalcoholic disinfectant) to cleanse the puncture site. For a blood donation, the only concern is complete cleaning of the area to be punctured so no bacteria get into the donated blood or into the patient. Using alcohol wipes in this case would be perfectly acceptable.
When I was in hospital, I enjoyed having a swig of scaldingly hot coffee moments before getting my temperature taken orally…