I’ve mentioned this before, but I always like to do the ‘Iodine Gag’ when I donate blood. This is how it works: the phlebotomist asks, ‘Are you allergic to iodine?’ the answer, of course, is no. So when she starts swabbing my arm with Betadine I get a worried look and say, ‘Wait. Did you say iodine? I’m horribly allergic!’ Hey, these people are doing the same thing over and over again all day. Why not inject a little fun?
So I get my line out and the phlebotomist stops abruptly and throws the swab into the trash before I could say, ‘Just kidding!’ When I did say it, she said ‘Oh, no you di’int!’ If I wasn’t lying down, I’d have been rolling. The phlebotomist doubled over laughing and told everyone how I’d gotten her. Everybody was laughing. Then she said, ‘You know, I haven’t put the needle in yet. Might take me three tries. Maybe four.’
She had to do something else (they were very busy and she needed to process another person in) so someone else finished with me. When she removed the needle she put some gauze on my arm and told me to hold it and to hold my arm straight up. When I put my arm up she said, ‘Do you have a question?’ I said, ‘No… Oh.’ She laughed and told the first phlebotomist that she’d gotten me back for her. After I read the paper for a few minutes I got up to leave, and the first phlebotomist said, ‘You’d better sit down. You look a little pale.’. I said, ‘No, I don’t,’ and went back to work.
Anyway, that was the best reaction I had to that gag ever.
I’ve seen allergic reactions to iodinated contrast. Unpretty. Even though you’re talking about a topical application of Betadine, if it was me, I’d stop immediately and go get a doctor to look you over. I’m not about to take any chances about watching you turn into a blotchy blowfish while your throat closes up.
This reminds me of something I did in high school when they did that medical screening thing where they check your eyes, ears, blood pressure, etc.: I had a ball (raquet ball I think) tucked into my armpit, inside my shirt. When it was time for the woman to take my blood pressure, I held my arm closer to my chest. She sat there feeling for my pulse in my wrist… then moved her finger… and moved her finger… and tried… and couldn’t find my pulse. I pretended to notice her confusion and said “oh, sorry, you needed a pulse? Here ya go,” while easing up on the pressure in my arm. Poof, pulse comes back. She gave me the weirdest look.
Johnny L.A.
Count me as a member of the “no fun” crowd. Joking around medical personnel (to me) is not a laughing matter.
Let’s suppose (God forbid) that shortly after conducting that prank, you had a real heart attack and the medical folks (not wanting to be fooled twice), just walked by “Johnny the Joker” writhing on the floor. (I don’t think even James Sokolove would want to take your case).
The only time I’ve come close to joking around medical staff is when I’m a hospital patient, I sometimes will remove my hospital bracelet without cutting it. (Some folks can slip it over their wrist - I can’t - but it is still possible to remove it.) Despite the fact that the bracelet can be refastened unscathed, doctors and nurses are not amused by this either.
Not funny at all Johnny. Iodine allergies can be quite serious things (I have a permanent and severe hearing loss in one ear due to a previously undiagnosed iodine sensitivity), and you said yourself that the staff were quite busy that day…your smarty-pants prank probably cost them time that they could ill-afford.
There’s usually plenty of opportunities to joke with hospital staff without saying something that could indecate a dangerous situation / possible law suit / possible loss of job for the phlebotomist.
If asked am I allergic to Iodine I might say, no but I am allergic to needles. Not as funny, maybe, but not likely to cause the phlebotomist a heart attack.
Well, count me in your corner Johnny. Timing is important of course, and you don’t want to play it too long, but I love a laugh from my patients. Everytime I get a flu shot or my annual TB screen I pull shit like that. I know one Doc who faked a seizure, the nurse is looking down on him and says dude, you’re just getting your clothes dirty. I had a pt tell me a joke just before I was about to start an iv and I had to stop until I finished laughing.
Medical personnel are people too. I wouldn’t suggest making a joke in the ER when they’re busy, but while donating blood? I think that’s a fine opportunity to make medical jokes without risking life and limb.
