This is not gonna end well. Obviously by wallowing in her happiness, publicizing it on the internet, and carrying on with the dude down the street, she’s gonna get caught sooner rather than later. Further, her husband is gonna feel humiliated by the fact that all the neighbors knew and were laughing about him behind is back. Not to mention that the details are also on the internet.
Not only that, but this idea that she and her affair partner will end up together in a few years is total fantasy. That doesn’t happen in general. In this case, it’s just very unlikely that loverboy is gonna move in with a nutjob who already has 2 kids by another man.
It would be hard to imagine a bigger train wreck getting ready to happen. Maybe this RSSChen is pulling everyone’s leg. Or playing some kind of sick practical joke on another couple.
Precisely. I looked at those two adorable little boys and the disgust I already feel at this sorry excuse for a mother went off the meter. It took a handful of minutes to come up with what I found, and I’m no mad-skillz hacker.
Having seen the devastation my sister and her two daughters have gone through, thanks to her cheating (now ex-)husband, I have zero sympathy for Little Miss “I’m so HAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPYYY!!!”
Jesus. I’m just amazed at the vitriol here simply because I couldn’t respond to each and every insult. Yanno, some people have a life. And with two small kids it’s not like I can sit in front of the computer and defend myself all day.
I’m reading at the top of page six right now, haven’t even gotten all the way thru. Geez.
The information on divorce and custody is very interesting. Spousal support wouldn’t be an issue, would it, if I were to remarry? Right? I would never demand support unless I left him and was alone with the kids. Stupid.
And on the other hand, “Lover Boy” as you call him, is a fucking cop and makes twice what my husband makes. It’s not about fucking money. He’s building a gorgeous new home and KNOWS I haven’t really any money of my own, aside from a few retirement accounts.
So, since I haven’t even been able to fucking finish reading all this hate I’m going to do so now. If I find any more points made without this fucking “lynch her” mentality, I will respond.
And since you’re a married woman carrying on with a cop, you could be ruining his career. I also have a difficult time believing that it’s not just about the money for you. If that were the case, you wouldn’t have brought that up at all.
Jesus, you are a piece of work. I hope you get what you deserve, and it’s not a lifetime of eternal happiness.
Wow, could you BE anymore of a selfish cunt? Oh boo, your lover makes MORE than your hubby, and it’s soooo not about the money. Except when you’re relying on your husband to support you while you screw around behind his back.
Your audacity continues to astound me. You sicken me.
Yes, we’ve been friends for thirty years, seeing each other on/off throughout our lives. He married his exwife in 1990 and divorced in 1992. Which was the year I met my husband. Loverboy was at my house when I would talk to my husband-to-be (not for sex or anything). In the beginning of my marriage, hub was VERY jealous and I simply wasn’t willing to give up my longest and best friend. I offered many times for them to meet (prior to this recent hookup), hub refused. Lover is my oldest and dearest friend and my first love. Life was complicated as I was just starting my recovery when he divorced. But he was there. I’ve been sober for 17 years now. Hub did not know me pre-recovery. Lover did. He told me that even while I was drinking, he loved me, but I was just too wild. I told Lover many times in my teen years that I could never be with only one man. He took that to heart and married. We didn’t have a chance.
We stayed in contact forever. Nothing sexual until now.
Your husband would be responsible for child support unless he was willing to sign away parental rights to your second husband. I’m not even sure you could refuse it. I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice, you should consult an attorney in your state … something about a monkey flinging poo.
Most women do not get spousal support nowadays - the legal world has sort of recognized that you are capable of holding a job, even if you currently don’t. Child support is a different matter - and will probably crush him financially - you live in the Bay area and it sounds like he’s barely holding it together with all of you in one house. From his point of view he will be required to pay you money, you’ll move into a bigger house with his kids, he will move into a crappy apartment for the next fifteen years and pay you a chunk of his salary to take care of his kids.
What makes you think the vitriol is because you’re not responding to “each and every insult”? If you really think that you haven’t been doing anything more than glancing at the responses that don’t go your way.
Gentle observation - you don’t exactly put a great deal of effort into making sure you stay untraceable; I just did a little playing around with google as well. Even if your husband doesn’t have the interest to snoop, are you sure none of his friends or coworkers aren’t either snoops or simply avid netsurfers?
I want to point out that the level of “hate” here will be mirrored by your friends and family–along with his friends and family–when all this comes out, especially if it goes on for three years before you tell people. People take being decieved personally. They feel like someone’s made a fool of them. Make a list of all the people you like and respect in real life. Imagine losing their respect.
When this comes out, people–including your children-will remember every event during the affair and realize that this was concurrent “When mom and dad took us to Disneyworld, mom was already sleeping with him. When dad was in the hospital, mom was already sleeping with him. When we had that picture made, mom was sleeping with him.”
I think you should just ignore this thread entirely. Nothing that you could ever say would even be believable or raise your esteem in this community out of the sewer you’ve dug yourself into.
I also find it difficult to believe that you are “in recovery”. You’re just finding another “fix me NOW” drug and looking for permission to use it. In fact, I felt sorry for you yesterday, but not anymore. You’ve revealed yourself to be so uncaring and unfeeling that to call you a selfish narcissist is unfair to selfish narcissists.
That may be true but child support would be. What happens if (when) Loverboy decides that he doesn’t want to support you afterall? Will Hubby take you back or just give up half of his paycheck?
Dear Goddess, I didn’t want to respond because you’re being piled on (somewhat deservedly), but…wow, another dishonest cop with no honor. I feel so safe knowing someone with the ethics to cheat on a marriage has a badge and a gun and the power of life and death over all us average folks! Isn’t that in violation of some Departmental policy somewhere? You should ask him - I know around here he could lose his job if it was ever exposed (because it happened…)
Well, it seems like it was with good reason. I usually wrinkle my nose when a spouse “forbids” their mate to have contact with an ex-lover, but now I understand why. It leds to situations like this.
The only ethical solution that still keeps you happy is for you to separate from your husband. As long as you try to have your cake and eat it too, you will be a no-good so-and-so. Do you want to be a no-good so-and-so?
It’s unfortunate that a woman who can’t be happy with one guy married a guy who is jealous.
Anyway, may I suggest that the next time you rebuff a sexual advance from your husband, you apologize for the effects of your meds and (half-jokingly) tell him to make sure you don’t catch him getting some action elsewhere? He’ll probably take the hint and discretely take up with another woman. That way, everyone’s happy and there won’t be such a big ***storm when news of your affair comes out.
My occupation means I meet a lot of different people at any given time; rich and poor, educated or not, black, white, everyone. Over the years I have gathered some altruisms that I subscibe to:
No-one views themself as evil.
Everyone want to be the victim.
Everyone is the hero of their own story.
Now I know that absolutes like no-one and everyone are false, but the ideas ring true. Individually we tend not to act out of evil intent but at worst a version of justified self interest that poses as reasonable to ourselves. I have a hard time believing that people actually intend to destroy others as a primary purpose; it is secondary to the achievement of their desires.
OTOH
Such delusion does not absolve the doer from her deeds. As much as it is important to give people a chance and not prejudge, there is another valuable altruism that applies:
A village reputation is seldom wrong.
If this village rises up en mass and declares ‘you are wrong’ then perhaps, just perhaps, they are right.
Bonus question: Two of four altruisms paraphrased from my favorite author. Which author and which alruisms?
I’ve heard one and three from Joss Whedon, but I don’t think he invented them. His other being, of course, “Sex is Bad,” which can certainly be worked into this thread somehow.
The vitriol isn’t because you didn’t respond. The vitriol is because you are doing something a lot of people think is wrong on multiple levels. The fact that you have only responded to posts you like just makes you seem more delusional.
There are no guarantees in this life. What if things didn’t work out with your lover? Do you think it’s fair that your husband would then have to continue to underwrite your life? Don’t you think you should get a job?
Must be nice for you to be able to jump from one sugar daddy to another, never having to work or take care of your own needs. You’re awfully sure this new guy is going to take on care of you and your kids. I hope for your kids’ sake that you’re right. I do feel bad for your husband, who will pay child support out the ass (40%+ of his salary) while you get to go off and be haaaaaaaaaaappy with your rich cop lover.
Where do you get off yelling at anyone here? I can’t believe that all you’ve taken away from this thread is that we all hate you and are lynching you. What you’re feeling is the same judgement that society would make… except possibly a little more articulate.
Your course of action is going to fuck up lives who don’t deserve it. This pisses people off. You’re not the victim here. Get a grip.
