A valid rant, but it needs some substance.
I agree, I’m always amazed when this happens to me. As you have said, the response is: You called me - who were you calling?
Suprisingly enough, that doesn’t work. The night before last I got a series of calls on my work line. My voice mail message says:
“Hi this is David <lastname>. Please leave a message after the tone, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank You.”
I was in my son’s room with my wife, when a call came in. We heard the words “slut” and “cunt” so decided to listen to that message.
Message 1: “Yeah, this is Karen. You need to get you dick out of that slut’s cunt and get me the Chap report Ok? Oh, and be sure to tell your wife what a lousy fuck she is.”
A few minutes later:
Message 2: “Karen here, I really need that Chap report. You have responsibilities, and you need to leave those trampy sluts alone. I Love You.”
About ten minutes later:
Message 3: I really need the Chap report. Why don’t you come by later with it. You know how much I love to eat you cum."
At that, I turned to my wife and said “You see, some women do like to eat it.” Of course my wife didn’t miss a beat. She said “Oh, so you know this Karen chick.”
Anyway, I have no idea why this woman got so hot an bothered over a Chronic Hazard Advisory Panel (CHAP) report (reference to one here.) . But it sounds like safety engineers have very interesting lives.
Wow…What timing!
My husband and I work for the same company, based on where his office is, and my desk, we can pretty much hear everything that goes on in the other offices if it is even above a whisper. I was just remarking to him yesterday how I didn’t get how this ASS of a coworker of ours gets away with his telephone manners…and he wonders why he is always having an argument with someone…
EVERY…and I mean EVERY time he makes a business call, he says in a very aggressive voice, “WHOS THIS?!” No identifying himself…no nothing. He says it like he thinks he just connected to the guy whos fucking his wife. Seriously. To make matters worse, if the person on the other end of the line says something like, “huh?” or “what?” He gets worse. “I SAID, WHO IS THIS??”
I’ve heard it escalate (this is a business call remember) into “I FUCKING ASKED WHO YOU ARE!!”
Once, the person on the other end of the line apparently didn’t snap to right away or said something sarcastic, so it then became, “Let me talk to your fucking supervisor.”
Case of little dick syndrome? Oh yeah. Manners of a piranha with anger management issues? You bet.
This guy will talk to you at length about how great he is with people.
:rolleyes:
This is getting all too common these days. Half the time, people scarcely seem aware that they dialed the phone. I can think of nothing more annoying than picking up the phone and being greeted by the middle of a loud conversation with someone else.
Here’s my favorite:
“This is Fuckhead McFuckerson, you paged me.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t page you.”
“Is this 555-1234?”
“Yes it is, but I didn’t page you.”
“YES YOU DID. I HAVE THE NUMBER RIGHT HERE ON MY PAGER.”
Hey genius - you apparently don’t realize that the number that is on your pager is there because someone keyed it in that way. Pagers aren’t magic; if someone pushes the wrong buttons, it doesn’t know. Don’t blame me if your friends don’t know how to push the buttons on a phone.
And what ever happened to “May I speak to…”? I’d settle for “Can I speak to…”, but most of the time I get a gruff, “Joe Johnson please.” (at least they said please), or even worse, just “Joe Johnson”. That’s not even a sentence.
NotMr…
I got a death threat misdirected to my machine once. Like you, I clearly state my name on the message, but I still got this one regarding a drug deal gone awry:
“Yo bitch - y’all bettah come across wit da money. I pop a cap in yo’ ass, mutha fucka. You da mark.”
How does that guy manage not to get fired?
Along with that lack of manners, how about when someone calls:
Fuckface says either:“Hhsuiyheakbnfjdsh (language not understood by yours truly)” or “Who’s this?”
Me:" You’ve reached the wrong number" or “Who you’re trying to reach?”
Fuckface hangs up.
The other time i got a call from 4 youngsters (i guess 7or less). I don’t think it was a prank, because they sounded scared as they gave the phone to each other to speak with me, asking: “who’s this?"
I found it funny so I wasn’t rude. I asked who they are trying to reach, but they hung up of course.
But i also got a share of polite callers that immediately say:” I’m sorry, i dialed the wrong number."
erm…i meant 7 years old or less.
This almost never happens to me. Next time it does, though, I’m going to respond, “This is Corpsegrinder Pizza,” and listen to see if I can hear their gears grinding to a stop.
I feel bad for all these Dopers answering the phone willy-nilly. I can’t conceive of a single instance in which I would answer my phone if I didn’t recognize the CallerID.
Wow. You never have freinds or family call you from an unfamiliar place?
Of COURSE he does, he just doesn’t speak to them, silly! 
I answer the phone willy nilly because I am one crazy motherfucker.
At some point my mother started to say “Hello it’s your mother,” first thing every time she called. Knowing her, ONE TIME I must have asked her who it was when she called and broke her heart so now even if I only talked to her an hour ago and she’s just calling back to tell me something she forgot I pick up the phone and hear “hello IT’S YOUR MOTHER.”
(phone rings, Calvin picks it up)
CALVIN: Hello, I’d like to order a large anchovy pizza.
CALLER: What? I. . .
CALVIN: Oh, I’m sorry, you must have dialed the wrong number. (hangs up) I try to make everybody’s day a little more surreal.
I hate those “Who’s this?” calls, and typically just hang up without saying another word. Sometimes this has been on relatives who somehow don’t recognize my voice any more. If the subject is important, they’ll call back and be more intelligent. Otherwise, they’re just phone spam.
Jeezus fucking H Christ! While I can understand being a bit annoyed by being asked “Who’s this?”, why are people taking such umbrage at what in most cases is simply someone misdialing and then getting flustered at the unexpected voice? Are wrong numbers such a trial for most people?
Myself, I try to enjoy them. Or just be helpful. My current number is one digit off from the local Canadian Tire, and the following exchange is not uncommon:
Hello?
(brief silence)Umm, is this Canadian Tire?
No, sorry, you dialed 123-4567. You need to dial 123-4568.
Oh, thanks.
No problem. Have a nice day.
When I first moved into this apt, the number I got when my phone was hooked up was amazing - one of those super-simple to remember numbers. 374-3337, to be exact. Four 3’s and two 7’s, could it get any better? However, I soon learned that all was not peachy. I’d get several calls a week thinking I was Select-A-Seat. This began to wear thin rather quickly, and I began thinking of purchasing an answering machine for the first time in my life and screening calls with a message that ran something like “Hello. This is not Select-A-Seat. Select-A-Seat is 987-6543. Stop using that phone book from 1982. If you actually want to talk to me, leave a loud message and I might answer the phone.”
Before I got around to doing this, though, Elton John tickets went on sale. They went on sale on a Saturday AM. I got several calls Friday night asking for Select-A-Seat, but not being an Elton fan, the connection didn’t twig. Saturday morning I pulled an overtime shift. Work at the time happened to be right next to Sask Place (the arena, and also ticket office). There was a huge crowd, and I was informed that they were trying to buy Elton tickets. Lights went on. All those calls explained. I got home, took a shower. Midway through my shower, the phone started ringing. I think to myself, self, it’s a wrong number; just ignore it and they’ll hang up. Ten minutes later, I picked up the still ringing phone and said “My, you certainly are persistent,” and informed the unfortunate woman that she had the wrong number. She was extremely disappointed, and said she’d been trying all morning. Which explains why my mother kept getting a busy signal when she tried to call me that morning and assumed I hadn’t been at work, but that’s another story.
I’m sure it will shock you to learn that the phone kept on ringing. Curious to know just how long ago my number had been Select-A-Seat’s, I began asking where the callers had gotten the number. To my surprise, I was informed by each and every one that they’d just gotten it from directory assistance.
I dialled 411.
A lengthy discussion ensued, where I explained what was going on. I learned that in fact Select-A-Seat had no listed number, and the correct callee in question was the Sask Place Ticket Office, and I got a number to call to speak with someone with authority to do something. Fortunately, every SaskTel representative I spoke with that day was extremely courteous and considerate, and they agreed to change my number at no charge to myself, but sadly it didn’t take effect until Monday.
Now, I could have become irate at my phone ringing off the hook all weekend (the concert sold out in 30 minutes or something, but apparently not everyone got that news). Many people would have. Instead, I struck up conversations with people. In my conversations with directory assistance, I’d gotten the correct number, and handed it out to people. I told them I believed the concert was sold out. I talked about the weather. It was almost disappointing when my number change took effect, though I’m sure the situation would eventually have driven me mad.
So, the moral of the story is, you can get mad at people calling you accidentally and becoming confused when you answer instead of the person they expect. Or you can get a grip on yourself and enjoy life.
There was never an adequate explanation of why directory assistance was giving out my number incorrectly.
I’m not talking about that accidental phone call. I’m talking about people who call and rudely demand “Who’s this?”! I’m not unnecessarily rude to someone that just happened to dial a wrong number.
Ah. Well, in that case the answer still isn’t to get ticked off. The answer in that case is to give a smartass answer that makes it quite clear that the caller is both an idiot and an asshole. But you know, it’s never happened to me, this rude demand for my identity. :shrug:
Because it’s so easy to avoid if the person would just learn some phone manners. Compare the following conversations:
“Hello?”
[Caller does not recognize the voice on the other end]
“…Who’s this?”
[best case scenario:]
“This is Egbert. Who’s calling?”
If the caller is calling Egbert:
“…Hello, Egbert. This is Janice.”
If she’s not:
“…This is Janice. Is Floyd in?”
And then either, “You have the wrong number,” or “I’ll get him,” or “He’s not here.”
Total: not only has Janice pissed Egbert off by demanding his name, but also it’s taken either two or three steps to get what she wants.
Compare with:
[Caller does not recognize the voice on the other end]
“Hello?”
“Hello. This is Janice. May I speak to Egbert, please?”
either: “Speaking,” or “I’ll get him,” or “He’s not in,” or “Sorry, wrong number.”
Total: 1 step. Janice has impressed Egbert with her phone manners. They have a few dates, and eventually move in with each other in a restored condo in Park Extension.
finis
The moral: Fucking ask if you can speak to the person you’re calling.
When it does happen, you will know anger, you will know frustration, and you will know the pleasure of saying “Hey, asshole, you called me!”
Yes, matt, I quite agree it is more polite to ask for the person you’re after. However, when flustered, people have been known to do stupid things. This is a fact of life, and not likely one which will change.
I must say, however, your dialogues reminded me of nothing more than the Monty Python sketch with the phone-in show on farming where the caller asks if Vic is there. 