So…Payne N. Diaz…how you doin’?
(Incidentally–right now, I’m in a pair of old jeans and a sweatshirt that Goodwill would reject. Woo-hoo!)
So Scribble, where exactly is “nowhere interesting”? who knows… maybe you n me could grab a coffee sometime if you are in a 100 mile radius 
Judging by a lot of these posts, I don’t think Scribble has much to worry about 
btw, I’m 28 years old, 6’0" tall, 170 lbs, well educated and single.
And, of course, I have no problem with being hot for teacher 
Good heavens! I wish I got half the response IRL that I’m getting in this thread!
Maybe we should have a Straight Dope Personals Ad thread, or something.
I’m in the Midwest of the USA, CuriousCanuck and Banger, in one of the states bordered by a Great Lake. If either of you guys are ever planning to be anywhere near my “nowhere interesting,” I’d be happy to have coffee with you.
Unfortunately, I probably won’t be heading to NY any time soon (even though–or maybe because–almost all my relatives are in the NY/NJ area. I’ve got aunts, uncles, and cousins in various parts of Manhattan, my great aunt and -uncle live in Jamaica, and my maternal grandparents are on Long Island. But I digress…) . Nor will I be going up to the Blessed Land of Aero Bars in the near future (I love aero bars. Why aren’t there any in the States? I could start a whole other pit thread on that topic.)
I might be at a research station in one of the Great Lakes for part of the summer, though.
<hijack>You don’t have Aero bars? I spose you don’t have Mint Aero bars either. That’s just plain old bizarre! </hijack>
<respond to hijack> No, we don’t have Aero bars, dark chocolate Aero bars, or mint Aero bars. I’ve heard that there are coffee and orange versions in the UK, but we don’t have those, either. We have no Aero bars whatsoever.
(Actually, that’s not completely true. A local Middle Eastern imports store in my town gets them in illegally. Somebody’s cousin, or brother-in-law, or whatever runs up to Canada and buys a vanload. The chocolate gets smuggled down here, where I buy it gladly. Unfortunately, it’s winter, which means that this isn’t the best weather for making covert chocolate maneuvers. So now I’ll have to wait until spring. Ah, well…)
I love Canadian chocolate. I know of a couple of places I could order Canadian candy from and have it shipped down here, but I haven’t ordered it yet. I keep telling myself that I want to cut down a little on the junk food. There are several Canadians studying here, though, so I’ll bet I could buy a gross or two and sell those puppies at a profit. Hmm…
I’m glad we got dark chocolate Kit Kats for a while. I bet we’ll be seeing those things as regular items here. And, of course, Ghirardelli is domestic…but I digress.</response to hijack>
Lemme guess: you’re a “Rules Girl.” I wish ya’ll would wear signs so we could avoid you.
lilairen --That’s what I think, too!
Scribble --I’m fine, how you doin’!
Well SCribble, you let me know the lake and I’ll find the time to bring you some Aero bars. And coffee Crisp bars. And Shreddies (cereal). And anything else from up here you want. Of course there would be the prerequisite trade for Pringles Cheese-Ums which for some reason are not available in Canada.
I think that the only lake I haven’t lived on is Erie (if you count the 6 weeks I lived on Macinac Island bordering L Huron and Michigan)
What kind of research would you be doing?
CuriousCanuck, I’d be on Lake Erie. And I wouldn’t be doing research at all; I’d be TAing a course. I finished my field work this past summer, and it was all in the woods, pretty far away from the lakeside. There’s no guarantee I’d be on the lake, either–my department doesn’t even consider allocating summer support (i.e., TA jobs) until mid-spring.
I might not even be in the country this summer. I’m applying for a grant to learn Brazilian Portuguese. If all goes well, I’ll be in Brazil–or at least a different place in the US, where there’s an intensive Portuguese program–for either the summer or the next academic year. We’ll have to see how it goes.
If I’m up on the Lake, though, I’d be happy to meet up with you for an international junk food swap and maybe some coffee. You’re not into hiking and/or any kind of specimen collecting on Pelee Island, are you?
Payne N. Diaz–I’m doin’ just fine, sugar. Freezin’ that little patootie off in NY?
Oh, crap!!!
I’m sorry. Really, I am.
Payne N. Diaz, I meant to ask you how you were coping with below-80 degree F temps in Texas.
Banger–are you freezing your little patootie off in NY?
I don’t know what came over me. All this attention has gone to my head!
hiking and doing sciency stuff outside? sure thing!
Can we camp too?
I did this when I was in college. Well, I did it once, at least, to a girl I really liked. We saw Man of La Mancha on campus one night and had a good time walking and chatting. But I had terrible cold feet, and freaked out at the thought of calling her, as much as I liked her. I actually did pretend I didn’t see her a couple of times when I actually did. Word got back later on that she noticed, of course, and was confused as hell about it.
I didn’t mean to be a bastard. I was interested in her, after all, but I’d never been comfortable approaching women. Numerous times after that, similar things happened. Sometimes I just clammed up on the dates, sometimes I couldn’t call… I don’t understand it. Often people ask me if maybe I’m gay, since I have so much trouble approaching women, but believe me, I’ve mulled it over, and I have no doubt in my mind that I’m straight. Being gay would make things a lot easier, in a way, but I’ve been interested in girls since I was six, so I’m sure. Ever read Tom Sawyer? Something like that, only with some Stan Marsh from South Park thrown in. (Strangely enough, I went out with a girl named Becky a few weeks ago. But I digress.)
I’ve never been excessively shy; just around women. That girl back in college, I still don’t know why I couldn’t approach her. She was laid back and into me (as others told me,) and I knew it. I seemed like an asshole, I’m sure, but that’s not what it was. I’m really trying to understand this.
I’ve dated occasionally over the years following, and last year I’ve dated a lot. I still can’t get past the third date. I don’t think it’s my looks or my hygiene; I just screw up. Or clam up. Lately I’ve been more relaxed, but I still get vague reasons for rejection, when I do get reasons. I don’t understand it. I can be personable enough, and I do have friends—I’m just disastrous in these situations. I just met a girl I really hit it off with and we’ve gone out a couple of times, and I have this sinking feeling that I’m about to get news that I’ve lost to the competition once again. I’ve gotten better at this over the years, but results don’t get better.
I don’t mean to take this over as my own personal angst session. My point is that maybe this guy is coming from a situation like mine, with hangups like mine, and just seems like a jerk. Or maybe he really is a jerk. My point is, there are some of us out there. I don’t know how old you are or how old this guy is, but that colossal wreck I wrote about back in college happened when I was eighteen and so was she. I’m 33 now and I’m a little better, a little smoother, a little less of a spontaneously shrinking asshole, which is maybe his deal. Along the way I’ve met a few other guys who have situations similar to mine. We’ve never been able to help each other, but it’s nice to have the comfort of commiseration.
And, if it helps: I fret about women who don’t explain why they don’t call back, but it’s still easier on you if you don’t. There are some who haven’t returned my calls after what I thought were successful dates and I still don’t understand. It’s rude, yes, but I’m getting used to it. If you expect good manners from everyone, you’re going to get an ulcer. I don’t have an ulcer, but I once was well on my way. Hell, I still might be. You can never truly understand someone’s motivations, and you can’t truly understand your own, either, for that matter.
You still have a right to complain, and probably should. I suppose I’m doing this as a sort of penance; I still feel bad about it.
Thanks, Chance. I really hadn’t thought of that. If I were you, I wouldn’t feel too guilty about not calling that girl; I’m sure you’ve suffered from it a lot more than she has by now.
I’m not so sure that was the case with ASL guy, though. He didn’t strike me as the kind to have a serious problem with shyness or lack of confidence around me.
As it is, I’m 29 (my birthday was last month), and I got the impression that he was about my age–maybe a tad bit older.
I’m not fretting about ASL man anymore. Haven’t been since last week. Like I said in an earlier post–I have other things to be neurotic about. My thesis, my grant application, my desire for more money, my appalling lack of background in statistics (which I’ll need for my thesis), etc.
Why not?
Well, actually–no offense, but I’d like to at least meet you before I hang out overnight in the middle of nowhere with you. You understand, right?
well… I guess that’s fair. but setting up the tent is a godo time to get to know one another (sorry, couldn’t resist )
Nice to know you like camping though… I can’t believe you are sans S-O
godo of course means good, yet meant in a joking tone so as not to scare you away… That or it was a typo with the same intent… your call to make…
/me blushes.
Well, thanks.
And I understood the semi-word “godo.”
People say that about me all the time. Yet, I literally can’t even dream about any woman because I get so scared I wake up in a cold sweat. Last night I dreamed that a guy with a machine gun was kicking in the front door–no problem. If it had been a woman just saying “hi”, forget about it.
However, when I get blindsided by a woman, or meet one I think is unavailable, etc., then I can be fine. Give me a chance to think about it and it’s over. It’s got nothing to do with cajones.
Think about it this way, the guys who hit on you are the ones who don’t have the shy-around-women-problem. You have a very biased sampling of guys. Don’t go for that “he doesn’t like assertive women” crap. That’s definately the sort of guy you should avoid. Nor should you assume that just because he’s shy around women that he must be shy elsewhere. I’ve known some amazing guys who have been paralyzed by women.
Or maybe he just wasn’t interested and took the path of least resistance…
In any case, it was his loss.