Don’t you wish your alarm clock had two different sounds? One which meant:
“Eh, it’s a regular morning, it’s okay to hit snooze a couple of times”
and one which meant:
“I’m serious this morning. You actually need to get up when I sound. Come on. Seriously. Now.”
So that you don’t get confused and muddled and then go OH MY GOD I’M LATE. Wouldn’t that be good?
That’s what the husband is for.
you need something to prop up your bed so it rolls your sleepy butt out onto the floor, Wallace and Grommit style but without the through-the-floor-and-into-your-trousers aspect. Also, you need to have a bunch of lizards that bite on your floor so that you don’t fall back asleep.
It would also be cool if you just never had to wake up until you were ready.
How about the alarm clock from the 1966 Matt Helm spoof, “The Silencers.” The round bed tilts up, slides him onto a ramp, and he slides into a bubblebath with a naked woman waiting to loofa him down.
I understand that you may not have been looking for real-world solutions in the OP, but I have the same problem, and I solved it by having two alarm clocks.
or use a Cd-playing alarm, and vary the tunes. I burned a CD which starts with soft, soothing tunes and ends with bone-jarring stuff - it works. usually.
How about a “Magic Fingers” style alarm bed? On regular days you get a gentle shake progressing to magnitude 7 on the Richter scale. Then on important days, it starts off with a mild electric shock and increases to near-death-experience. Instantaneous alertness!
Avoid pacemakers and bed-wetting :).
I have 2 alarm clocks, too. But after a couple years, that starts to lose its effectiveness. I asked my sister for an alarm clock that slaps me around until I wake up and get out of bed (for Christmas). I don’t think I’ll get it, though.
I hear you, Kat. I have combatted the problem of getting used to the two alarms by moving the second one further away from my bed and turning the volume way up. Recently I’ve also tuned it away from a real radio station so that it’s mostly static. Seems to get me out of bed.
Not at all. I set the alarm for the time I absolutely need to get up, and then I get up. Imagine all the uninterrupted sleep you would get if you didn’t set your alarm for long before you actually get out of bed.
You’re intentionally screwing with your own sleep. That’s just dumb.
I wish that Francesca would help me get up in the morning 
I want someone to make the alarm that a reader of Maxim sent in an idea for. It looks like one of those old “Simon Says” games and you have to play the game to snooze, and it gets harder every time. It would gradually get so hard that you would have to wake up just to turn the damn thing off.
(Medal of Ciscosfavoritedoper awarded to anyone who tells me that this thing has actually been made and where I can buy it)
I actually have an alarm that slaps me around until I get out of bed.
It’s called Lola.
I wish my AC would not make it hot at night (providing much discomfort and preventing bedsheet snuggling and eventual sleep) and cold in the morning (encouraging much bedsheet snuggling and eventual return to more sleep).