Yes! A resounding victory for those of us who have no credentials.
Well, you’re the expert on Napoleon Dynamite and the Kennedy assassination (just checked your CP recent posts).
So, what am the, or an, expert at? (No peeking.)
Eating out smelly girls?
I saw that coming.
I could do better.
:: preens ::
That was your first mistake!
We could announce ourselves, Tolkien like:
I am TrueCelt, Slayer of dragons, Finder of threads, etc. etc etc.
I am John Mace, Beggar of the Question, Excluder of the Middle!
I kinda like this. It’s like Borsolino hats, it’s … stylish. 
I am Little Nemo, ten tons of nitro in one fist and a neutron bomb in the other. When I walk buildings shake and bad guys wet their pants.
I’m a specialist in that field.
Well, that trumps me: all I have is a Doctorate of Thinkology from the University of E Pluribus Unum.
I used to be a pert. Now I’m an expert.
I can always point you to the best live lesbian sex show in town. And teach you how to spot a ladyboy.
I am Colibri, SD Curator of Critters, by appointment of the Perfect Master.
I am Tripler, expert on many, many things I cannot tell you due to government non-disclosure agreements I’ve signed.
Unfortunately, I can neither confirm nor deny my expertise due to those agreements, and due to the fact that the SDMB is an open message board, and is sourced by insurgents and foreign powers.
Tripler
Yes, I know about that. And that too.
I know nothing.
I am an expert in my field, I just don’t know what it is.
Are you out standing in your field?
I aspire to be an expert in Darth Panda’s field, as soon as someone figures out what it is.
And I’m an expert at everything else!