Sees the loose ball dribbling away from harmless, scoops it up, juggles the ball, an orange, and a cigar while running down the field towards the opposing goal, then falls on his face while loose objects fly everywhere! The ball deflects off the orange just in time to be nudged into the corner of the goal: score, Team 2!!
(Team 1)
DENIED!
…as Yeti bends down to pick up Johnny Bravo’s sandwich, he accidently head-butts harmless, knocking her down and the ball lands on the sandwich. Picking up both ball and sandwich, Yeti eats the smushed sandwich and licks the mustard off the ball and another saliva bath ensues…A loud belch from Yeti strips the ball out of his hands and the speeding ball of slimey muck hits squarely in the stomach of…
Damn You RTFirefly!!!
Mea culpa, that WAS Hal curled up cutely and snoozing at midfield. You and JimSox look so much alike, what with the spiffy uniforms and all.
Anywoo, back to the action on the field where Team 2’s Doctor Jackson gently takes the ball from harmless (being sure to “accidently” touch her hands and giving his best flirty look) and torns to face the target. The tension can be cut with a knife, but Doc choses to slice through it with a jewel encrusted sabre instead. He steadys himself - he shoots, HE SCORES! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! He’s on a scoring rampage! Somebody call Nike, it’s gotta be the shoes!
Yeah, I’m one sneaky bastard, aren’t I? My chief weapon is surprise…wait a minute, that’s some other guys. My chief weapon is wicked smartassery!
The ball thrown by Yeticus Rex bounces off of RTF’s stomach, knocking the wind out of him. As the wild-eyed Team 2 player falls gasping to the dirt, he flicks the ball downfield, where…
OK, completely edit my last post. It should read:
Team 2’s Doctor Jackson congratulates RTF on the goal, even though it ends Doc’s dreams of consecutive scores. Doc then picks up the ball, still covered in the remnants of RTF’s lunch. Doc is heard to murmer “Eeewwww!” as he flings the disgusting ball away and looks for a Team 1 player on which to wipe his hands.
Geez, I go out to buy some envelops to mail in some rebates, and all this happens!
Okay, with RTFirefly’s goal, we have
Team 1: 1
Team 2: 2
The last to touch the ball is Doctor Jackson. Here we go!
Team 1
Glad she’s no where near Doc at the moment, Abb deftly catches the ball in a snatch not unlike the one used by mothers the world over who are catching the ball moments before it hits the lamp gifted to the family by the grumpy Mother-in-Law and does a pitiful but hopefully effective water polo waggle as she passes the ball.
Standup Karmic, freshly returned from the eye surgeon after Doctor Jackson gouged out his eyes (isn’t that against the Hippopotamus Oath or something, Doc), grabs the pass from Anngela. Having had new bionic eyes installed into his head (for only eight bucks, too! You have no idea just how much bionics have come down in price since Col. Steve Austin, the first prototype, was fitted with them in the mid-70s to the tune of several million bucks) and a new bionic arm retrofit (still weaker that your average 12-year-old-girl, but a vast improvement nonetheless), Standup hurls the Doperball towards Team 2’s net with that familiar “de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de” sound that things hurled bionically make, and whizzes, with laser-like accuracy, directly into their net!
Team 1………SCORE!!
Those new size ‘DD’ eye implants are really doing their job!
For those who might be interested in his fate, Col. Steve Austin was just recently dropped off at Office Depot for their E-roundup. Harsh maybe, but compared to the new stuff, he was ridiculously obsolete and his handlers were tired of having him stacked in the storage room with some old PC XTs and a first generation Palm.
And Team 2’s RTFirefly, noticing that only two consecutive Team 1 players touched the ball before it went in the goal, calmly picks the ball up out of the goal, pulls one of those little needle-shaped things you inflate balls with out of his pocket, deflates the ball partway, takes it over to a helium tank on the sidelines, and injects just enough helium so the ball wants to float about 1.5m (~5 ft) off the ground. He gives it a good whap which carries it about fifteen feet in the air before air resistance bogs it down, and…
(Team 2)
Johnny Bravo scoops it up and cartwheels down the field. Unfortunately, he becomes distracted by a gaggle of cheerleaders and drops the ball, where it lays waiting to be picked up by…
…Hal, who scoops up the ball last touched by JB, and rears back to hurl it in for the score. But wait! At the last moment, he tosses a lateral back down the field, looking for a fellow Team 2’er to hit it in for the two-fer! And the ball is caught by…
Chance for a two, maybe even three pointer (the so-called holy grail of doperball). . .the tension mounts.
Team 2’s Doctor Jacskon,amazed over this sentance in a previous post:
nabs Hal’s lateral. Still unable to get rid of a rather interesting mental image, Doc decides to gamble. He tosses a crossing pass directly in front of the net to set Team 2 up for a 3 pointer by…
His mental fog is so great that he can no longer spell. Oh well, no one ever acused us athletes of being smart.
[Team 1]
Greenback picks up the ball and runs down the field like a pro. Teammates are all calling for the pass. The coach is calling for Greenback to sub…
Stop yelling at me!!!
Greenback slams the ball into the ground and writhes on the ground holding his ears.
Woohoo! Greenback saved the day (before his collapse)!
Agonist deftly picks up the ball from beside Greenback’s prone form, and sprints as fast as she can away from all those Team 2 bruisers. Before they can catch up to her, she tosses the ball toward that trim, sleek, athletic player known as…
Someone help me with a Team name - what do I know from Doperball?
…Team 2’s Johnny Bravo who, it should be noted, is neither trim, sleek, or athletic.
He attaches the ball to an RC airplane and flies it towards the goal. Unfortunately, the engine cuts out and dives right at…
team 1’s Adhemar while having her nose stuck in the book “Wicked” trying to finish those last few riviting pages, trips over some spherical object floating just off the ground away from Johnny Brovo . What the heck? Said sperical object ashoots away to …
Team 2
…Hal, now dressed in full Braveheart garb. Grabbing the ball away from it’s position near adhemar, he charges downfield, waving a broadsword and screaming incoherently (something about vengence against Greenback for spoiling a three-pointer). Unfortunately, he is tripped up by his kilt and the ball goes flying towards…