Dopers in recovery, what is your advice?

I am now willing to admit that I am an alcoholic.

Perusing the boards I have heard several dopers mention that they are in recovery. I am curious about the methods that you used to get and maintain sobriety.

I am willing to try just about anything as the juice is no longer worth the squeeze, so to speak.

Any advice or personal experience that you would have for me is and will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

I’ve been sober since April 25, 2007. I did a two week outpatient program that involved both big and small group sessions, and I continue with therapy now. I also attended SMART meetings.

What are you currently doing to try to break the cycle? Are you getting any outside help or trying to do it on your own?

The biggest help for me was the simple stuff:

Sleep
Eating well
Getting outside
Journaling

And talking about it to people who understand.

It does get better, but you will always need to deal with cravings. Christmas was hard for me. I also am getting married in July and that will be hard too.

I’m not on here really often, but if you need, please PM me.

I was considering attending AA meetings and following the 12 step program. I have been to them before but they seemed a little weird. I have looked into SMART but the last time I checked there were no groups in Atlanta.

There are many Dopers here who have quit by using AA. I’m sure they’ll check in. Many of them don’t buy into the “religious” aspect (higher power–if you make your own definition, it doesn’t necessarly have to be religious) but find that there’s still enough good in AA to have helped them through the worst, and to help them keep on the good side.

But I just wanted to wish you luck and to say “good for you” for being willing to start down that path.

Thanks.

Sober 18 and a half years.

I go to meetings, I talk to and listen to my sponsor, and voila: I don’t have to drink. One day at a time.

I would give AA a try. When one starts they usually try and see if you can do 90 meetings in 90 days, this has a dual role in your recovery. It first allows your body to react to no more alcohol and it allows you to be able to use the people in AA as a sounding board everyday. It also allows you to build a good structure of aquaintences that all know what you are going through - I mean who else knows best what you are dealing with than a fellow akly?

Many in AA are aetheist and use the references to higher power to mean their own higher power, it could be the universe, buddha, or the easter bunny, or the christian god. Higher Power reference is to allow you to know you are not going this alone, thats all. Also, be wary of defining yourself as an alcoholic. Alcoholic carries with it a burdensome stereotype, if you feel you want to talk to others about it, try and stick with, “I had a problem with alcohol and had to give it up” instead of " I’m an alcoholic", it helps early on for people who may not understand what alcoholism is.

Also, your body is going to thank you tremendously and you are going to feel great after a while, this is natural and its called riding a pink cloud. The feeling passes just keep that in the back of your mind.

Fanatical AA detractors say that it is a religious organization, it’s not.

If you choose AA, make sure to pick meetings you feel comfortable about. Initially non of them may feel very comforting, but it gets better. PM me if you’d like more pointed questions answered.

Clean and sober through the 12 Steps since 12/22/85.

If it’s more important to you to be a hardline atheist than it is to get sober, AA won’t work for you. If, however, you’re an agnostic or even an atheist who doesn’t get your panties in a twist at the word “god,” give 'em a try. There’s a whole hell of a lot of experience, strength, and hope in those rooms that is available to anyone who’s willing to listen – and plenty of folks whose higher power has nothing to do with the Judaeo-Christian god.

I’ve been clean and sober since March 8th, 2006. I do attend AA and NA (2-3 of each/wk, 4-5 total average weekly). I am an atheist, and I have many, many higher powers- depending on the situation.

Living healthy and finding new positive things to do with your time is critical, IMHO. You may also experience a lot of guilt over lost time, wrecked relationships, etc. after that pink cloud Phloshpr mentioned passes. Try not to allow this to drag you back in to the bottle- rather focus on doing the next right thing day by day and building new positive memories and experiences you won’t have to regret later.

I wish we had SMART or Rational Recovery meetings around this bodunk area, but we don’t- so I make due with what is here. Go around to several different meetings, and even revisit some as the atmosphere can change with the format or crowd there on different nights.

Realize that there will be people who went to greater depths than you, and people who are getting out without going to the depths you did. This is OK and NOT a reason to not relate. The elevator goes all the way down, and you can get off at any floor you want. What floor other people got off on doesn’t matter- the important thing is you are all trying to climb back up.

Good luck!

Never mind.

Robin

I am certainly willing to believe in God, the concept of something else is plausible to me.

Thank you to everyone who has shared so far. It’s nice to see your hope expressed.

So my defensiveness was out of line? My bad. :smiley: (Sorry, there’s an anti-AA contingent on these Boards – as in real life – who can’t get past the higher power thing so reject the entire program out of hand. I apologize for assuming you might be one of them.)

Good luck to you in your new life of sobriety – feel free to PM or email me if you’d like.

Been clean in NA since 1987.

This I can tell you: Those who make the program a way of life stay clean and recover.

You need to be willing to try a new way. Should be easy, because *your *way wasn’t really working for you. Go to meetings everyday, and do what they suggest.

I find myself getting defensive as well when it comes to the detractors who blow it all off because of the higher power thing. Sometimes I do better than others. I have found a group of meetings that fit my schedule and that I enjoy, and only a few people who I have given my phone number to. Usually men who I identify with are the ones I stay in touch with.

I don’t know if you are a man or a woman but finding someone of your own gender to talk to when things get tough [and when they are joyous] is a very good thing.

One little tip, go get some sweets, lots and lots of sweet. Alcohol breaks down in our system into simple sugars, and I found a heavy craving for sweets when I gave up the sauce. The chocolate helped me a lot.

Sheesh, you alcoholics sure are a touchy bunch!:wink:

This might be a good read for you:

What Can I expect at an AA Meeting?

I guess I’m somewhat anti-AA, at least to the extent that it isn’t/wasn’t for me. (But I am DEFINTELY pro-twicks!) But since you are at least ambivalent re: a deity, by all means, try that route. No reason not to make use of a well-established support system that has helped many people. And if one meeting doesn’t do it for you, try another. They are quite easy to find.

Remember, your immediate goal is simply not to drink this moment/day. Then do the same the next moment/day. Doesn’t matter if you want to drink because you are happy, sad, bored, whatever. Don’t.

In April I think it will have been 5 years of sobriety for me, after 20+ years of heavy drinking. No AA. Simply decided to stop and did. I guess I’m a hard-headed enough jerk that I wasn’t going to allow booze to control me. And maybe the fact that I was able to stop shows my drinking wasn’t as out-of-control as others’. But all I had to do was not pour the next drink down my gullet. Yeah, it was tough, but obviously not undoable. And I’d love to get shit-faced tonight. But I’m not going to. Just a decision, nothing more.

Quitting was easier for me than moderating. I was able to lie to myself and convince myself to cheat on whatever limits I imposed. But it’s impossible to fudge ZERO. Simply takes the option of drinking - whether a little or a lot - out of the equation. And once you pile up a few days/weeks/months/years without a single drink, I find it easy to convince myself it is not worth it to try a drink. Because even if I stop after one, I will no longer have my clean slate.

Hard to say whether quitting booze or smokes (20+ years and still occasionally want a fag) was tougher.

Good luck. And if it helps to post here, please do.

I’m not in recovery, but my advice comes from a lifetime of dealing with people in recovery.

Don’t play the Wise Man.

There is an unfortunate tendency for people in recovery to believe that they’ve learned so much or gained such wisdom that they start to read the same symptoms, problems and issues into everyone and every situation around them. It becomes unbearable.

There is no greater zealot than the recently converted.
People just into recovery ARE the recently converted.

No, I don’t have a drinking problem because I had two drinks at the company party (my first drinks in two months) and YOU are an alcoholic.
No, I’m not in denial or lying about my psycho wife just because YOU were a pathological liar who destroyed every relationship you ever had.
No, because I smoke(d 7 years ago, no longer) pot every blue moon, it doesn’t mean I’m a drug addict with a serious problem.

To recap: Just because you’re in recovery for a problem, please don’t read that problem into those around you and attempt to convince them to get help, or worse, try to fix them yourself.

Thank You.

Trust me, the more I think, the less I know.

One of the biggest obstacles with me was boredom. What do you do with the time in the evening when you’re not drunk? I took up a few new hobbies, started writing letters, and recently I’ve even taken on a third job. I keep myself way too busy to find time for a drink, and if I have time to relax, I’m too tired to drink anyhow.

That’s what I did, but it might not work for you. I guarantee you are going to have to find something to do with your time though, and meetings are a great idea (I think that’s also another reason for the 90 in 90).