Dr. Nurse

The BBQ Pit
1

Hey nurse…don’t ask me what I have come to see the doctor about…ok?

I am paying to see a * doctor * and I want to tell *him/her *what my symptoms are. You say it makes his/her interview with me go better? I don’t give a fuck. You think I am comfortable casually discussing my hemorroids while you are weighing me in and taking my temperature in a busy hall in front of other people?

I know your an angel of mercy, but just take my vitals and shut the fuck up ok?
Oh and btw I don’t want to pay doctor prices to see a physicians assistant either. I don’t mind the physicians assistant being there to…and here’s a novel idea… assist the doctor… but I don’t want one for my primary medical care giver. If the doctor is on vacation or otherwise indisposed then let him hang a fucking sign on his door like everyone else or turn his practice over to another doctor instead of keeping the patient flow going with his favorite PA.

2

What irritates me is the number of times you have to tell everyone why you’re there. You tell the receptionist when you make the appointment, but does she pass the word on? Evidentally not, because you have to tell the nurse when she takes you to the examining room. She writes it on the chart, but does she tell the doctor or does he read the chart? I guess not, because he asks you as soon as he walks through the door. Maybe it’s best the doctor hear your own description of the problem rather than get it second or third hand from the nurse and receptionist, but when it’s an especially delicate matter, it’s embarrassing as hell having to say it once let alone repeat it to everyone you meet.

3

All right, here’s a reply from the other side of the counter: bite me.

You think the doctor has nothing else to do? Let’s take a look at our doctor’s day, shall we?

4:30: Up to go for his 3-mile run. After all, he can’t prescribe diet and exercise to his fat, lazy patients without practicing what he preaches, can he?

6:30: Breakfast with his wife, a rare luxury.

7:30: Scrubbing for a surgery, the time decided because the patient wanted to have his warts removed before he went on vacation, and refused to listen to the doctor when he asked if an afternoon surgery would be acceptible, since a morning procedure would push all the other patients back an hour. The patient became belligerent, and the doctor was forced to schedule the procedure in order to prevent a physical scene.

9:00: Into the office, an hour late. Other patients are whining because they’ve been “waiting for hours now” even though they showed up at the office at 8 and their appointment isn’t until 10:30.

10:30: Still running an hour behind, since two patients brought their spouses without scheduling them, and one brought all three children for suspected ringworm. All threatened malpractice suits if their unscheduled patients were not seen.

12:00: A representative from Merck has arrived, bearing lunch. She never called the front office staff to let them know she was coming. Emergency phone calls are made, letting family know that the staff/doctor won’t be home for lunch.

1:45: The doctor is still trapped with the Merck rep, who won’t shut up about the new “wonder drug” that he can’t prescribe, since it isn’t covered by many of his patient’s medical plans. Lunch was officially over at 12:15.

3:00: The front office staff and the local police had to deal with a pain-pill junkie who assaulted one of the nurses and the doctor himself when they refused refills on his Vicodin prescrip.

5:00: The office is officially closed, but there are still 5 patients wating, all growing restless and grumbling. The front office staff is beginning to fear a revolt in the waiting room.

7:00: Doc is finally able to leave the office, only to head back to the hospital to make his rounds and assist the local neurosurgeon in a procedure which ends up lasting 6 hours.

Repeat for the next 15 years. And all this WITH the help of nurses and PAs… you’re not so much of a masochist as to want to see how it would go without their assistance, would you?

4

About the patient who threatened malpractice if the doc didn’t see their kids: how can you sue for malpractice if the doctor doesn’t even see them? If he DID see them and fucked up, THEN he could be sued. That would be like me suing my mechanic if my brakes failed after I took my car in to have the oil changed and he told me he didn’t have time to check my brakes.

5

The doc spoke to his lawyer the next day to see if it was indeed plausible, and it was, kinda, under “willful denial of care.” EXCEPT that it is an office policy that no unscheduled patients are to be seen. Unfortunately, with the current atmosphere (especially in our town, where people are suspicious of “that furren doctor makin’ his muny offa us.” (an actual quote)), we have to bend rules to stay out of legal hot water. I just want to slap people sometimes.

6

Ignoring the whole Tiggeril “bite me” thing (although I’m sure it’s perfectly justified) and getting back to the OP.

Ok, so if the receptionist/nurse/PA/whoever isn’t passing this word on to anyone, why does it have to be the truth? Tell the receptionist (loudly) “My dick gave me a big bruise on my knee” or some such thing. Tell the nurse, “I need a prescription for Viagra to keep up with my aerobics-instructor/circus contortionist/playboy model girlfriend, who wants the deep dickin’ 12 times a night.” When the doc finally bothers to show up, you can give him the details of your hemmorhoids/yeast infection/burning urethra/whatever.

Should be good for some comic relief, anyway.

7

I forgot to mention this the first time around. The front office staff needs to know why you’re making your appointment because we need to know how much time to schedule you for. If you’re there for, say, a B12 shot, then you only need five minutes. If it’s for wart removal or a Pap smear, it’ll take longer.

Not to mention that you don’t need to feel “ashamed” about whatever you’re coming in for. We’ve heard it all before. NO, we don’t talk about you after coding your diagnoses. NO, we don’t snicker about your impotence with our families. NO, we don’t gawk and laugh about your weight. We all signed confidentiality agreements for a reason. If a fellow patient is standing a little too close for your comfort when you’re talking about your ailments/symptoms, by all means, ask them to step back or ask the receptionist to speak with them.

If you don’t feel comfortable in any situation let the staff know, for God’s sake! Nothing will change if you don’t tell the people at your office. Simply say (politely, please!) “I don’t feel comfortable discussing my situation in such a public area. Could I give you the details in the exam room?” The basic rule is, if you want something, ask! And ask politely! If you have any problems with the staff, let the doctor or office manager know! It’s the only way to have the situation remedied.

I fail to grasp the reasoning behind the “us vs. them” mentality concerning office staff. We’re just trying to make your visit smoother. Could you maybe please let us?

8

Tiggeril:

Things are tough all over.

You certainly don’t want to hear about my day of teaching 6 periods of music beginning at 8:00 am followed by an after school honor choir for an hour and a half which all go to make a 9-10 hour day. Not to mention six night concerts per school year to prepare for along with choir performances at various lions and rotary clubs and at least 6 field trips sprinkled thoughout the year coupled with PTO (mandatory for teachers) the second tuesday of each month. And I won’t talk about the 4 away school contests that I am required to be in, traveling hours by school bus to attend. And I won’t tell you about the parents that come to school and turn you in to your principal for “threatening their kids” and their threats to “sue your ass” if you say or do the wrong thing to one of them. And I will just leave out the two evaluations that come each year and the time spent preparing for them so that you can put on a dog and pony show for your boss to prove that you are teaching your ass off.

Repeat for 22.5 years.

You don’t want to hear about all of that.

But you know what? I ain’t bitching cause I agreed to do it when I signed that contract. Besides I get paid to do it.

Just how is that suppose to help my self conscious embarrassment at being asked why I am there in a busy hallway by someone other than my doctor?

9

Not to be impacted with cabbages and tomatoes; however, I have to agree with tiggerlil. Although I am sure that you job as a school teacher is hard, but somehow, getting three hours of sleep a night, having to spend weeks out of evey year in training just to cover new advances, people that bitch at you constantly, just somehow seems more challenging. Remember, how many baseless malpractice suites or threats to bring legal action will each doctor have to go through compared to how many times you have been seriously threatended with legal action for reprimanding a kid?

10

tigerril, Sorry, but A is unrelated to B. And threemae, it’s irrelevant whether doctors or teachers or trapeze artists have more work or stress. Having a busy life doesn’t excuse someone from treating people like crap.

I’ve got a plenty busy, stressful life as well, and my customers are treated with as much dignity and respect as possible. It’s not unreasonable to expect the same from everyone.

Frankly, I find the medical field annoying because if you treat your customers like crap they’ll still come back because there’s no choice. If I never kept my appointments with my customers I’d be out of business. Have you ever heard of someone going to the doctor and seeing him/her at the appointed time? Hasn’t happened in my lifetime.

11

Bill and aha: Why are you blaming the doctor and the people in the office for the rudeness and inconsiderate nature of your fellow patients? If people didn’t have the sense of entitlement rife within society today, the “I don’t care if I don’t have an appointment, I’m here now” attitude that 3/4 of our patients display, people wouldn’t HAVE to wait.

Threemae is right: everyday, we’re looking down the barrel of a frivolous suit. Something which wastes our time, the doctor’s time, the patient’s time, and everyone’s money. Because of some individual’s litigious natures, we’re forced to bend WAY over and take it from behind from everyone. We’re all punished because people are assholes.

Then ask to be taken out of the hallway. Did you read nothing of what I posted?
And that reminds me… if there are signs posted in the doctor’s office, READ THEM! That’s what they’re there for! They’ll tell you about our policies regarding appointments, missed appointments, payments, and even our hours.

And for the two of you: I don’t want this to turn into some sort of “Yeah? Well my life is THIS bad” pissing match. I’m just trying to understand why you feel the need to take your stress and aggravation out on whoever’s behind the counter. We take your shit. We do it with a smile. Can’t you show the least bit of courtesy? Or are you using your Internet anonymity to piss on everyone, no matter how much they do for you?

12

tiggeril wrote

When you say “the two of you”, I assume I’m one of the two, since I was mentioned above in your post.

Actually, you did start the “my life is THIS bad” sub-thread, and I was responding to that.

As far as “taking stress and aggravation out” on people in doctor’s offices, I don’t do that. You don’t “take my shit”. I’m a polite person who doesn’t make unreasonable demands on the people around me. In fact, the opposite is true: I put up with more than I consider to be acceptable from the medical industry. I appreciate the constraints doctors and associates are under, but it’s a business like any other and should ultimately be responsible to it’s customers.

Finally, I’m not here under the guise of “Internet anonymity” as you see from my handle.

13

[nitpicking ON] Actually, I started “the doctor’s life is THIS bad” sub-thread [nitpicking OFF] My intent was to point out the actualities from the other side. If I came across a little strong, well, I feel strongly. I shouldn’t have taken it personally (I’m assuming you don’t come to our office ;), and your doctor may run things differently than we do).

BUT

And the “customers” also have a responsibility to their place of business. What I’m trying to say is that the people in most offices do all they humanly can to make things go smoothly. We can’t control all the jerks, and sometimes, you have to allow for that.

Actually, we’re all under the guise of Internet anonymity. Even if you had your full name in your handle, I can’t call you or come over bearing coffee and cookies to discuss this.

14

Huh? Where did I say I was blaming the doctor for the rudeness and inconsiderate nature of my fellow patients? Or are you just lumping me in there with Bill H.? I happen to think he is an intelligent poster however his point is not mine. Don’t your read what we post?

And as far as reading what you post you said:

Why should I have to let the staff know that they need to be professional and not put a patient in an embarrassing situation in the first place? And btw even then it would be pretty embarrassing to have to say in front of others that you would rather not discuss your medical problems with anyone but the doctor. If I over heard someone say that I would figure they have a STD or something.

That last time I went to the doctor, the nurse asked me why I wanted to see the doctor right in front of two other patients sitting there waiting to get blood work. Both patients where very interested in my answer.

And Bill H is right you did start the “my life is tougher than yours” and when he called you on it, you call it nitpicking.

And this isn’t a us vs them. Just read the OP. It states in so many words that I simply would like to keep my medical condition private and confidential, between my doctor and myself.

I think you are the one who is being defensive and making this into a us vs them thing.

15

I’m a veterinary nurse. Most of the time, clients have to go through me before they get to the doctor. A client arrives with the patient, they go into an exam room, and I go in to check the pet’s vitals and get a brief history. This helps the doctor to be more prepared when he or she finally enters the room.

From time to time we get people in who absolutely refuse to see the nurses. In fact, just the other night one of my coworkers was told to her face, “I don’t want to talk to you, I want to see the doctor!” Nurses and doctors alike find this attitude insulting. We’ll never call a client on this though, we just go get the doctor and grit our teeth.

When I go in to examine a patient and get a history, I am not playing doctor. I don’t make a diganosis or prescribe treatments. But just because I am not a doctor does not mean that I don’t deserve respect. I am an integral part of the medical team whos only interest is the health and well being of your pet.

Again, I know this is not the same thing as human medicine. Discussing the discharge coming from your penis is not the same as discussing the discharge coming from your dog’s penis. But maybe nurses in human medicine feel the same way I do?

Is the OP just uncomfortable talking to the nurse in front of other people? Or is he unwilling to give a history to the nurse even in private? If aha is just unhappy with having everyone in the lobby within earshot, I can understand that. That isn’t necessarily being disrespectful of nurses in general. But not wanting to talk to the nurses at all, yes, I find that insulting. So maybe there is more than one issue going on in this thread. Who knows? I just wanted to put my 2 cents in.

16

Michi:

My Point exactly!! I have not one thing against nurses or office staff. I just feel that there is a place for the patient to tell his story, and the area outside of the exam room within earshot of other patients is not it.

17

My doctor just lost a patient over her office staff. I had problems 18 months ago which required a lot of tests and a specialist, and I was put on medication that corrected the situation. Same thing recurs, and I called my doctor and couldn’t get past the staff. I explained the problem and I made it real clear that I could not function and needed to be put back on the medication. These people refused to take me seriously and insisted I could make an appointment for the following week, but that was all they could do.

I then called the specialist that was involved and he has moved out of state, but the staff picked right up on the fact that I was not in good shape and got a doctor on the phone. She looked at my file and immediately called the pharmacy and prescribed the medication I needed. I then called my insurance company and found out that I could see her for the problem and bypass my regular doctor altogether. I like my regular doctor, but I won’t deal with her staff again. This has nothing to do with the original OP, but it’s nice to have a place to rant.

18

Sometimes I forget you can’t read my mind when I post and see my reasoning behind my words.

Actually, no. I was doing the nitpicking. Teach me to ever try to be self-deprecating again.

The staff SHOULDN’T be unprofessional. At our office, for example, all histories are taken behind closed doors. We ask patients to stand behind a certain line if there is someone else at the front making an appointment or talking about their accounts. If the staff at your office is acting in an unprofessional manner, speak with the doctor and see if he will try to train his staff more thoroughly, or institute some new policies. You know that thing I said about “we want to help?” I meant it. If he won’t even look into it, however, you might want to find another doctor.

Well, yes. Everyone here on the board gets put on the hot seat and it was my turn this time. The medical profession isn’t just a job for me. It’s something in my family. Unfortunately, mention “staff” and “doctor’s office” and I get an image of all the rude, belligerent people I’ve had to deal with in the past, and the two are inextricably intertwined in my mind.

Your complaint, aha, is a legitimate one. Yes, I overreacted, and yes, I took your words personally. I still think my advice is sound, but I’d like to take this chance to apologize. What began as an honest attempt to defend the staff just became an outlet to vent my frustrations. I didn’t mean to take things out on you.

19

Now there’s something I’ll never understand. Let’s see, I’ll just verbally abuse and massively inconvenience the guy who is goin got knock me out and take a knife to me. Hmmm…

Trust me, you WANT them to ask three times. I’m sure we’ve all heard about the poor schnook who gets the wrong leg amputated because the nurse checked the wrong box, right? If I go to the dick stretcher and he screws up and lops off a peice instead I would be highly pissed and no amount of lawyer money would make it better.

20

::runs to speakeasy and gives him huge smooch::