Drama Here! Getchyer Drama Here!

In My Humble Opinion
1

…or how to say “So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehn, goodbye…!”

I post on multiple boards and under more than one user name. Occasionally, I even make friends. Some friends are guys, some are girls, and I do my best to make sure that everyone knows I’m happily married, am not looking, and that friendship is spelled p-l-a-t-o-n-i-c. By and large, this has worked out wonderfully.

Oh, occasionally someone flirts with me and I’m very flattered. If they manage to get me hot or flustered, I’m polite, decline graciously, and I take any/all lust home to my wife. I have one persistent ‘friend’ however who is/was always trying to steer things to the sexual side. Yes, she had a bad life, yes her husband was/is a jerk, yes she ‘only wants something to get her through the day’. Still, I’ve done my best to make it clear: I’m not ‘it’.

One of our last contacts was when she sent me an unsolicited jpg of her breasts…with her very last contacts being urgent requests that I ‘reciprocate’. (Hell, I don’t even have breasts…and if I did, there’s no one who’d ever want to see them)

I deleted the pictures. I then also blocked her email, terminating all contact. (thank Og for dead-drop email addresses!) Unfortunately, the board in question is migrating to something called ‘YUKU’ and I am now, once again, getting emails from her. (It had been 4 months; shouldn’t she have moved on? Big world, Big internet & all…) I’m starting to think that she has officially crossed the line into ‘Stalker’. She’s a country and an ocean away, so the actual rabbit-boiling threat is considered ‘low’.

Now, here’s the question. I’m tempted to reply to her email with creative ‘get lost’ invective, but I feel that if she hears anything at all from me, it will encourage her and she’ll be chasing my ass like a heat-seeking missile. I can block her emails again, but now she’s starting to just show up on YUKU boards that I post on. Do I block her and just hope she goes away? Do I block her and report her for a TOS violation? Do I just say ‘screw YUKU’ and jettison all contact there? What would you do?

2

Sorry - I’ve had stalkers before and they’re scary. I’d block her, report her for a TOS violation, and say “screw YUKU”. It’s unfortunate, but they’re tought to get rid of. Mine made my life a living hell for several months. :frowning:

3

End any and all contact - which may mean leaving the other board (sorry).

The biggest problem with stalkers is a lot of the time any continuing contact (even negative) they have with you validates what they see as a “relationship”.

As for her living an ocean away, plane tix are not as expensive as they used to be!

PS - If you didn’t want the pic of my boobs just say so! :smiley:

4

And for anyone reading this, they’re real and they’re spectacular. (Signing her name in drizzled chocolate was a nice touch too.) :smiley:

5

I would say the worst thing you could do to her is ignore her. Don’t respond, don’t reply, don’t engage. Let her scream in a crowded room…keep ignoring her. If she doesn’t get the response, she’ll glom onto some other poor soul.

What is YUKU?

6

I’m not 100% agreeing with everyone here. Unfortunately, sometimes these people need a very definitive “Fuck Off” before they get the picture. As such, I’d send her an e-mail saying:

"I haven’t been responding to your e-mails because your conduct has crossed the line from “friend” to “creepy”. You have made me extremely uncomfortable and I would just as soon not have any contact with you whatsoever. Please stop contacting me.

I am going to block your address as soon as I’ve sent this, as this issue is not up for discussion. I wish you all the best, but I would like you to cease all attempts at contacting me."

Then block her.

7

I agree with Carlyjay, but only because my understanding is that it’s a lot easier to sic the authorities on a stalker (if necessary) when you can prove that you clearly told them to fuck off and leave you alone. (This is where I disclaim that IANA lawyer, cop, stalker, etc.) If you simply and clearly tell her to never contact you again but she still does, then you have a better leg to stand on in terms of reporting her for a TOS violation or what have you. It sounds like you just started ignoring her way back when, so I’d say send her one last “cease and desist” – but then you have to absolutely block her and never contact her again.

8

Thank you Missy2U, Poysyn, Ivylass, Misnomer, and especially Carlyjay!

I may just owe you royalties. :smiley:

9

I’m just surprised no one’s said “cite?” yet. :stuck_out_tongue:

If she’s half a planet away, I’m sure you could safely remain on the other message board. I’m also in favor of sending her a message similar to what CarlyJay suggests, via the message board if you’re not comfortable with email, or if the email gets sent and doesn’t work.

10

Yuku.com is a new internet forums site by ezboard. It’s a site that hosts small forums and allows you (the user) to have 1 account that accesses multiple boards. If you know someone from one forum, you could follow them from forum to forum.

Think SDMB, where instead of GD, GB, the Cafe, the Pit etc, you have one forum that is set up by someone interested in geneology, one for a group of friends that knew each other college, one set up by someone interested in Jeep Grand Cherokees.

11

Well, the advice always given to someone leaving an abusive relationship is to stop all contact, period. No last good-byes, no telling someone to fucko off. (I think that’s what you meant, Ivylass , not that the worst advice is to ignore her.) That’s what I’d do - just block her and forget her.

Sorry that you have to deal with this, Count. There are a lot of people in this world who have no concept of boundaries, and the fact that those boundaries don’t change just because the contact is over the internet, instead of in person.

12

I meant from her perspective, the worst thing Blucher could do is ignore her. I’m sorry if that came across muddled.

13

Ah, I see - that makes more sense now. :slight_smile: