there’s this guy that i don’t know, whose been e-mailing me. at first it was no big deal, but then he got into talking about how he knows people that i know, and where i work etc. and it started to freak me out. so i asked him who these people were and in his reply he told me to stop being a bitch, and that he had a huge crush on me. anyway, today i got an e-mail that included this:
"i was thinking about
applying there to work with steve but then i found out u worked there and i
was like “oh god she’s gonna think i’m stalking her!”
now (rhetorical question)who the hell was that?"
his rhetorical question is obviously regarding his ‘she’s gonna think i’m stalking her’ comment.
i just asked my dad what to make of it, and he started laughing about how i am over reacting, and then i freaked because it has REALLY got me creeped.
so now i’m asking you guys, what would you make of it? if anything, that is.
if wishes were fishes, we could walk on the ocean.
I would cut off all contact with the emailer. Tell him that you do not care to continue correspondence and that you are adding him to your spam filter. Then do it.
I have no idea whether he is really a potential stalker, but he certainly seems to be a creep.
The best lack all conviction
The worst are full of passionate intensity.
*
First off, stop replying to him. Second, have his emails blocked by your ISP but collected for evidence. Perhaps your ISP can give you some leads/information about who this person mibht be. They can certainly find out where he emails from and contact his ISP.
…or you could glean some information about him by playing along and then show up at his place with a baseball bat and a few big friends.
the steve i mentioned, is apparently his best friend, and i work with and love the guy. i’m meaning to talk to him about it, but don’t know when i’ll be able to.
also, i have the e-mailers full name, phone number, address, and know where he works.
and as for ignoring him - that was my initial move, and all he did was came back more and more.
but crap, this is quite lacking in the fun category.
if wishes were fishes, we could walk on the ocean.
I would say that the tone of this guys email’s or your interaction with this guy will better serve you in finding his intentions.
On the other hand too often many girls take a bit of attention and blow it out of proportion.
I would just go with your gut feeling. If you would not want to hang with this guy then tell him that you do not want him stalking you hehehe. If you this is isnt that bad then I suggest that you talk to him hell even work with him.
Openfist
Openfist
The hate I bear thee can afford No better term than this,–thou art a villain.
Block his e-mail, TODAY and just drop it. When in doubt, ALWAYS go with a gut instinct. ALWAYS.
Zette
“If I had to live your life, I’d be begging to have someone pop out both my eyes. Just in case I came across a mirror.” - android209 (in the Pit) Zettecity
Voted “Most Empathetic”- can you believe that?
Oh man I had the same thing happen to me. After I blocked him he just got another email to use. One call to the police and that stopped him. I called the stalkers dept. gave them all the info and they politely asked him to refrain from contacting me.
Find out about this guy. Don’t assume he’s a stalker, don’t assume he’s harmless. Find out.
THEN deal with it. Appropriately. If he’s harmless enough, talk to him, get to know him, ignore him, whatever, and he’ll probably get over you anyway. You could even gain him as a friend. If he’s a dangerous loony, the world NEEDS TO KNOW.
as freaked out as i am, i think i will talk to steve first. the guy says that he’s steve’s best friend, which from the freakshow he’s put on for me, doesn’t seem at all likely, but i’ll wait and see.
also, just in case he is up to something, i don’t want to ignore him with his knowing where i work.
and just so you guys know, i really appreciate all your input, it means a lot.
if wishes were fishes, we could walk on the ocean.
Zette nailed it dead-on: you’re feeling creeped out and that’s a valuable warning sign. LISTEN to your gut instinct. It doesn’t matter who he’s friends with. His interactions are weird, inappropriate and wrong.
Send his one brief message: “do not contact me again.” DON’T explain, don’t apologize. Make a record of it. If he persists, report him. His actions are inappropriate by any standard, and don’t let anybody pooh-hoo you out of it.
Some guy you don’t know, but claims to be the friend of a co-worker that you don’t talk to frequently, e-mails your regularly. Without ever meeting you.
Too creepy.
Even if Steve says he’s a good guy…no normal man does that.
Sounds interesting! maybe he is not that bad, you never know. Obviously he already knows you. So if you meet him(take a friend) its not like he doesn’t know where you work!
It’s creepy. If he wanted to meet you why could he not have gone through Steve, if they are best friends?
If someone told me they knew people who I knew and then when I asked who they told me to stop being a bitch…well, that would end our corresponding right there!! If he talks to you like that and you haven’t even met yet then he’d be a creep in “real life” too.
My reaction when people contact me claiming they know me is to remind them that if they really knew me they’d know how much I despised people doing it, and immediately ask them to identify themselves. When they do not, I immediately block them from messaging and e-mailing me and ignore them completely. If they really do know me, they quickly come back under the name I know them as and apologize profusely; if they don’t, I never hear from them again.
Honey, I’ve been stalked online before, but thankfully never in real life. If your gut says psycho, go with it and do what you need to do right away.
[/quote]
but then he got into talking about how he knows people that i know, and where i work etc. and it started to freak me out. so i asked him who these people were and in his reply he told me to stop being a bitch, and that he had a huge crush on me.
[/quote]
I think that’s your clue right there. If you don’t have a crush on him why continue the relationship? He sounds creepy in the first place. If you’re thinking “I might meet him later IRL, so I’ll be nice to him now just in case”, I think that’s a big mistake. If he’s a normal guy he won’t start harassing you once you blow him off, and if he is a weirdo, you need to get rid of him as soon as possible.
I agree with most everyone else.
Talk to Steve.
Whatever Steve says e-mail the other young man telling him you will no longer be accepting his e-mail and if he gives you any more unwanted attention that you will be contacting the authorities.
It may be an overreaction, and in most instances probably is, but it is better to err on the side of safety. Also this young man is going to have to learn at some point that what he is doing is not acceptable.