Doesn’t really seem mundane or pointless, but here it is.
As I’ve mentioned on here before, at work I moderate a small, general interest message board. There was one poster there who was being a bully to everyone else, so I banned him. He kept writing me nasty e-mails; nothing overtly threatening, but with a definite undertone of “I’m not going away.” (I saved all the e-mails.) Frankly he was beginning to worry me; it became clear that he wasn’t just some cranky old man, but a genuinely crazy person. Figuring he’d shut up, I let him back on the board when he promised to shape up, and the other moderator banned him about two days later for being a jerk. He sent a few e-mails to the other mod, and then stopped; the last one came about a week ago.
Today I got an e-mail from him on my home account. He’d apparently googled my name, and found a site that’s got a picture of me and a friend (I’ll call him Dave), with our names and my personal e-mail address. This is the e-mail he sent, with names deleted (sorry for the language):
I’ve alerted Dave to save any e-mails the guy may send him. I’ve also called the police to ask about my options without giving any names; they told me that harrassing someone via e-mail is a federal crime and I can have him arrested (I know his name and he’s in the phone book), but I’d really rather not escalate this anymore than necessary; I just want him to go away.
I’m going to talk to some of the higher-ups at work and see if I can talk to any lawyers there as well, but I figured someone on here might have some experience/advice along these lines.
I’m leaving this job in a month, and I’d really hoped to be able to leave this guy behind when I do, but he’s apparently determined to make this personal. Advice?
I know you don’t want to take this to the next level but I don’t think you have a choice. And if this guy doesnt’ do something bad to you he may do it to the next moderator that displeases him.
If you don’t, there’s no reason for him to leave off harassing you. And best to do it now, while you’re still in the job that resulted in this, so it’ll be easier to pull the evidence together.
But until it’s a matter of legal record that this happened, he’s got no reason to quit his harassing behavior; it’s just you and him, and he’s not afraid of you. So get them cops and prosecutors on your side. That’s what we pay them for.
Yeah, getting the law involved at an early stage if it seems that something might happen is a good idea in this case. The police are there to help prevent things from happening, too.
I manage a large online community, and I agree with everyone else, you must get law enforcement involved right away. I also think you are smart to consult with your company lawyers; keep pushing until you get concrete help.
Just want to echo the others to convince you to have the guy arrested. The guy’s trying to take it personal, so you’ve got to retaliate in full force. The only reason not to do it would be if you think you’re over-reacting, but you’re not. It’s like the police told you: harrassment over e-mail is a federal crime; the dude is breaking the law. If he’s just a prick and a bully, he’ll get scared out of pulling that shit with you and other people. If he’s truly disturbed, you’re much better off safe than sorry.
It’s not just going to “go away,” and you shouldn’t have to change what you’re doing when this guy is the one with the problem.
I had a similar situation.
Someone wasn’t happy I fired her mouth-breathing Neanderthal of a daughter.
She ended up coming into my store and assaulting me.
You damn right I called the cops.
The did a no-booking? arrest, where (as far as I understood it) they just informed her she was considered arrested without having to go in and informed her that she would have a court date.
The daughter’s brilliant solution was to call and leave a threatening message on my voice mail. Hello!? Evidence! (didn’t matter because the investigating officer flat-out LIED to me. He claimed, verbatim [cause I’m not about to forget this shit!]: “Someone can threaten you all day long, but the police can’t do anything about it until they actually do something.” He was about as professional as my assailant in handling the case. :mad: )
Her mother’s brilliant solution to this was to picket outside my store in the street and yell out that she’d be back every day until I’d “drop the charges”. :rolleyes:
What a glorious day it was when I made her cough up restitution. : evil smiley :
I think it’s clear that he will not go away without help from law enforcement.
Taking matters into your own hands would be escalating things any more than necessary. Contacting the police would at worst be erring on the side of caution, and at best be saving you from further harassment or actual harm.
OK, I’ve spoken to our corporate attorney, and he was pretty helpful. He’s totally non-tech-savvy; his first question was, “What’s a message board?” so I had to back up pretty far, but we got up to speed on it and I told him what’s going on. I also showed him a bunch of the e-mails, including today’s, and he wants to have the guy arrested as well.
This weekend I’ll do some homework on whom to contact to get all this rolling, and we’ll do it first thing next week.
I’m in the middle of moving, planning my wedding/honeymoon, and preparing for law school, so I’ll just read up on this during my boundless free time.
Oh, and thanks for everyone’s encouragement; it’s nice to have some backup on something like this. I’ve got all these nagging doubts saying, “Well, he didn’t explicitly threaten me…” and so on.
without having to go in and informed her that she would have a court date.