Just don’t get confused and do it this way instead. (Dunno how long this link will work, it’s the last paragraph of the article.)
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I gotta put my two cents in here…
I agree with everyone else. If you have the chance and evidence to do something about this guy, DO IT.
I had a stalker for two years. The guy used to follow me around town, follow me to work, make about 20-30 calls a day to my house (from pay phones, so he wouldn’t get caught), and even broke into my house once. As scary as all that is, you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to get the police to take you seriously. It didn’t stop until I moved halfway across the country.
The point is, all that took time to become as invasive as it was. It started slowly, and then escalated. Don’t give this twisted freak a chance to do that to you. If he has the inclination to take the time to dig up personal information about you, who knows where he will go with it.
Can you perhaps have the lawyer or cops send him an e-mail as a warning shot? Maybe this isn’t proper procedure in the legal world, but at least it would give your nemesis a fair warning that you mean business.
The lawyer/cops could explain to him that he is indeed breaking the law and any further contact with out will result in his arrest.
Maybe?
I have an old friend from high school who’s gone crazy. He took to stalking my best friend, also from high school. Anyways, it got to the point where she talked to the cops about what could be done. The long/short of it is, having him arrested is a huge step. If he is taking this personality, as he obviously is, he is going to take the arrest badly. Think about how long he will spend in jail (1 day before he’s released on bail?) and what he’ll think about doing when he gets out. I cannot see him being jailed for any extensive length of time. If you are moving away, you might just want to hope he’ll drop it when your gone.
Just trying to get into the head of a crazy person here but, “if your ready to take it to the next level (arrest) what’s to stop him from taking it to the next level (physical confrontation)?”
Invest in some pepper spray.
That’s my main worry about this; so far I’ve responded either in a curt, professional manner or not at all. If I suddenly respond by taking action against him, I think he’ll either (a) try to come back with something bigger, or (b) crumple like a wet Kleenex. Most likely the former.
I’m just moving across town, alas. The new number will be unlisted of course, and I’m changing my e-mail address soon as well.
Anyway, I’m still not certain about pressing charges; it’s one thing to get on a message board and say, “Yeah! Press charges!” but it’s another entirely when I’m the one who’s going to be looking over his shoulder everywhere I go.
I’m considering, as ccwaterback suggested, e-mailing him a warning shot along the lines of “Harassing a person via computer is a federal crime. If you contact me again IN ANY WAY I will turn this matter over to the FBI.” I feel certain it won’t stop him, but at least I can say I warned him.
By the way, does anyone know the legal definition of “harassment”?
I had an experience similar to this, and wound up pressing charges through the district attorney’s office. Like you, I wanted it to just go away, without resorting to the “big guns,” but the type of person who will stalk you won’t go away just because you ask. Even after being put on probation, my stalker posted my name, address, and other identifying information about me online. He was summoned to court once again and his probation terms were amended so that a repeat of that behaviour would result in a probation violation. This was in November, and I’ve had no problems since.
The legal definition of harassment varies by state, but in my state, the following applies. http://www.cyber-stalking.net/legal_state_massachusetts.htm
Good luck to you.
Well good luck jackelope, whatever you decide to do. I have had a phone call prankster for several years now, I know what a nuisance these people can be. They are actually mentally ill, so we have to consider that in our evaluation of their motives.
If I wrote an e-mail to this person, I would probably say something like this:
Please accept my apologies for any personal discomfort I have caused you. My job is to moderate a message board, when someone posts messages that a consortium of moderators agree is inappropriate, then we are obligated to ban that poster from the message board. Every message board has its limits on what is acceptable behavior, if your posts are considered unacceptable, you will be banned. There are many message boards on the internet, you should be able to find one that will allow your views to be posted.
This will be my last direct correspondence with you. If you continue to pursue an aggressive posture towards me, I am left with no other alternative than to seek legal consultation on this matter.
Sincerely,
ccwaterback
I’m with Coldfire- I’m glad I live a zillion miles away. In the earkier days of the Internet I used to host chat rooms for MSN and, amongst other things, received death threats for my trouble. I never had any doubt that I was in any sort of danger, but you still haven’t to put up with this nonsense.
And have fun with all your time off!
I don’t know if this pertains to your situation, but here is an anti-stalking site.
ccwaterback, actually, he shouldn’t send this person ANYTHING. If it’s a stalker he’s dealing with, ANY contact, no matter how slight, is seen as encouragment.
Let the law deal with it now.
ccwaterback, IANAL, but I would avoid that idea completely, if I were the OP. Legal implications aside, you don’t want this creep to get wind that you’re about to take some action.
That said, I think I’ll voice the unanimous suggestion to do something about this. Don’t wait, don’t put it off-- it sounds like it’s been going on far too long, already. I’d call the cops immediately and have them take care of it, at their own suggestion.
I agree with **Guinastasia ** here. Complete excommunication is the right course of action to take. When my friend was dealing with her stalker she had to maintain complete isolation from him. Even an incident such as running into each other at the bar would rekindle his stalking tenancies.
However, if after you move and change contact information, he still persists in the effort to track you down and harass then police involvement would be necessary.
Or perhaps you can reply to his e-mail by sending it back to him with a “Copy to” your police contact and/or your lawyer.
For my $.02, have the company lawyers send that letter – to the guy’s home address, registered mail, return receipt. (I assume that the message board is a part of the company. If not, use your own lawyer.) Lawyers are good at writing strongly worded letters; it’s part of their job.
Then if he disregards the lawyers’ warning, file the criminal complaint. He had his chance. Oh, and get a restraining order at the same time.
So… any updates? Should I be making plans to bring my leeeeeeeeeetle friend when I come out to see you in a few weeks.
[For those of you not in the know, the OP is my older brother]
I’m not sure if you can do this in America but if you do report him to the police and he’s arrested, make sure you and your lawyer turn up to the bail hearing and argue that he should not be bailed.
I don’t know whether the procedures at the Post Office have changed (I hope they have), but it used to be the case that anybody who knew your old address could ask the P.O. what your forwarding address is. All they had to do was fill in a form, they didn’t have to mail anything to the person they were looking for. I think it would be worthwhile asking the Postmaster whether that’s still true before you file your forwarding address. You might also tell the Postmaster the name of the person who’s been harrassing you and tell the P.O. that under no circumstances should they tell this person where you’ve moved to.
I hope you pressed charges.
Updates! Updates!
Any messages scrawled in blood on your tea cozys?
I’m back; been busy.
I decided to wait and see if he kept writing. I printed out all of his e-mails and saved them, and talked to a lawyer at my office about my options, and just sat back; I didn’t answer him at all. I also stopped moderating the messageboard under my name; my coworkers and I opened a separate, anonymous username for moderating.
And I haven’t heard from him since. I know he’s been having some kind of dispute with a columnist from a local paper; I called their editor and warned him about Crazy Boy, and as far as I’m concerned this is over. He’s stopped writing, which is all I wanted anyway.
If I hear from him again, though, I’ll head straight to the local FBI office with printouts.