Neither mrs. dirtball nor I could be said to be good at planning very far beyond “I’m gonna go hit the Taco Bell drive-through for a Burrito Supreme. You want me to get you one?”
That said, we both recognize the importance of a will, even if our situation is fairly simple. Jointly owned house, individually owned cars, some personal effects that I’m not inclined to think would be the focus of too much disagreement. We have retirement accounts that are set up to shift over to the surviving spouse if necessary, but as as far as I know, that’s not dependent on anything we would put in a will (someone please correct me if I’m wrong about that).
So, inasmuch as I’m pretty sure there are folks around here who are knowledgeable on the topic, would it be okay for us to use an online service? If so, are there things to watch out for in choosing one? Any recommendations? Or do we really wanna make an appointment and go sit in a lawyer’s office and (gasp!) talk to them for a while?
The safe move would be to set up a call with a lawyer or legal aid in your local town, no need to meet face to face, and explain your situation in detail. Yes, you will have to pay something for a consultation, but after hearing what the lawyer says you can still go online and do it yourself with a no frills will. People have done this, and the risk of screwing things up badly is relatively small, but non zero.
You can certainly use a boilerplate will that you find online but given that you have joint and individual assets, it probably makes more sense to consult with an estate attorney about what the best arrangement is in your state. If you have people other than each other that you want to convey assets to, it probably makes sense to put those into a revocable trust so as to avoid probate for them, and then use wills to convey any small ticket and personal assets. Insurance policies and retirement accounts that list someone as the beneficiary do not generally need to go through probate but it is worth having a look through even if you don’t have other major assets just to make settling the estate much easier for whomever might receive assets from it.
As far as an online service goes, I think that depends on what you mean- do you mean a website with a free fill-in the blanks form? I wouldn’t. Do you mean a website that asks you questions, uses your answers to produce a will specific to your state and wishes , which you can then review with an attorney ? That I might do - I had a will done years ago though a similar process, except it was so long ago it was all done on paper.
I appreciate the replies. It looks like I’ll suggest to the wife that we have a real-time discussion with a human sometime in the near future, regardless of where it goes from there. The goal, really, is to do what we can to avoid as much hassle as possible for the kids when the time comes.
I’m just now turning my thoughts to this whole thing. So while I would assume there are variations in the way different sites do things, I’m not familiar with what those variations would be. But that’ll be a helpful comment if we go online for it, giving us something to look for.
And as awesome as Ron Swanson is, I fear I’m not able to model my decisions on anything he does. I’m certainly not going to sit in a diner and ask for “all the bacon and eggs you have” and then go on to emphasize that I mean it literally.
My wife and I are lawyers and have wills/trust. But depending on your situation, you have to weigh the size of your estate, the likelihood of anyone disputing the distribution, and the costs of creating the will/trust.
Assuming you just want everything divided equally among your kids, you can cover things pretty well by naming primary and contingent beneficiaries and making accounts payable on death. If you do all that, a relatively low cost/no cost formulaic will could cover most other contingencies. My personal experience is that people often exaggerate the time/costs of probate. But probate CAN be a hassle if the kids want to sell your house after death.
The biggest issues come up if you have unusually-styled property, if you wish to distribute unequally or other than your state’s per stirpes practices, or if you anticipate someone will be an asshole. You do realize, don’t you, that if one of you dies before the other, and things aren’t spelled out, 1/2 of anything not held jointly could presumably go to your kids?
But a professionally drawn up will and trust are definitely the way to make things the easiest on your kids. Also depends on how much you care, as you’ll be dead.
As far as dividing stuff up goes, I think we would be likely to discuss with the kids (three of them) how they would prefer to deal with it and then write up the will so that they can all feel a reasonable amount of assurance that it can and will be done the way they want and that everyone gets a fair deal with no unwelcome surprises because of something we weren’t aware of.
The encouraging thing about it is that they get along very well and support each other and have each other’s backs, etc. So although I understand that when someone dies, it’s very often “all bets are off” when it comes to the behavior of the family, I’m optimistic about that part.
“Everything goes to my spouse” is fairly simple, but it won’t be that simple for at least one of you. After one of you dies, what happens to the other’s estate? Or what happens if you both die at (to the best of anyone’s ability to determine) the same time, such as in a car accident?
Even with these considerations, it might still be simple. Or it might not.
I recently had my will redone (including an updated living will) as well as getting two Power of Attorney documents completed and it was just under $300.00.
I would consider $300 for a will well worth the money, for the peace of mind of knowing that no one is going to feel they were treated unfairly and that they’ll get things settled with the least possible hassle.
An online will is good for someone who can answer the question themselves if an online will is sufficient. Because you’re asking this question here, I’m thinking you should use an attorney. There’s nothing wrong with an online will, but you need to know enough about wills to make sure you avoid any pitfalls. In your case, hiring an attorney will likely be money well spent. Not only will they make sure everything is correct and addresses your specific situation, they will also be sure to specify the distribution in such a way to minimize any potential issues which could cause conflicts between your children. I suspect your children will be very happy you spent the money to have an attorney craft your will rather than doing it yourself so your estate would be a few hundred dollars greater.
Mainly, the question on my mind at the start of this was, Can one of these sites provide us with what we need? And the answer seems to be yes, but the user maybe needs to meet them halfway and have some smarts about it. Well, I don’t know enough about the law to bring any smarts to it. I’ll claim to be a pretty smart guy in some ways, but my brain simply won’t address itself to the type of thinking required here. My wife would probably say something similar, in her own way of speaking.
It was also in the back of my mind that the quality of the product could vary for any number of reasons,
$300 sounds like cheap peace of mind. I’m surprised they can still be had so inexpensively.
Just a practical observation - just because there is a will doesn’t mean it will be probated. My FIL was a bigamist. After he died, we located a will from before he divorced his first wife and filed it with the clerk. He had expressly disinherited my wife and one of her sisters. But some $20k was supposed to go to his alma mater and a cousin. Neither of them saw a penny, nor did my wife’s (estranged) 3d sister who hired an atty to look into it. No probate was opened.
But I’m confident the OP is not the scheming dishonest asshole my FIL was.
$3000 to $4000 is what we are seeing around here (Greater Boston). And these are suburban office park firms, not downtown white shoe ones.
My parents paid $2500 a few years ago. In a somewhat lower cost of living area. We paid $2000 19 years ago when MiniMouse was born. She’s not so mini now hence the need for a major update.
I have never in my life heard the term “white shoe firm”. Might be regional to your area?
I paid about $500 a few years ago to get a will and powers of attorney set up with a lawyer. Then again, my situation was pretty simple. Even so, had I gone with an on-line DIY I would have made at least two errors that would have complicated things for the people mentioned in my will.
I suggest at least getting some advice from a lawyer regarding the laws in your state. These vary by state. Which is why my sister-in-law was disappointed to discover that where I live the widow takes all unless there’s a will specifying otherwise. She was expecting the rules in her state, where a widow is guaranteed only 30% and was expecting to get a slice of pile. Not that there was a pile, but she had convinced herself decades ago we were holding out on her and had a big stash somewhere. Anyhow, sucks to be her.
That is my experience as well. I heard it in Iowa, St. Louis, certainly during my years on Boston and now my decades in Nebraska.
Lawyers literally wearing white shoes? That, although rare, most likely happened only in the rarefied legal corridor of Washington DC up through NYC to Boston, with Ivy League law school grads.
I think the thing to remember is that the way to make this easy on your kids is to be crystal clear about your wishes. As long as everyone is on the same page, this avoids a lot of potential problems.
I think its also a good idea to give adult children an approximation of the size of the estate but also a realistic assessment of the cost of end of life care.
