So, I was sleeping over at my GF’s last night. I was all riled up about something, I guess. Maybe it was all the sugary snacks before bedtime, I don’t know. But after lights out, I tossed and turned for a good long while.
What has worked in the past for insomnia is to sleep elsewhere. So I got up and went into the living room and laid down on the futon. A little less comfortable, but I sometimes have a hard time sharing a bed.
But that didn’t seem to work either. No matter, my GF had to go out just then. She had to do something or other at my old dorm from years ago. I went along for the ride, but decided to stay in the car in the parking lot. Maybe I could get some nap time stretched out in the back seat.
No such luck. I had to move the car a number of times because some rock band – I think it was REO Speedwagon – was making an appearance that night at my old college. So I parked the car behind a bunch of other cars. On this really steep incline. I guess I did it wrong, because people all around me were getting mad at my parking job.
The concert-goers were getting rowdier as well. I admit, I was a little scared of them. So anyway my GF came back to the car and said that she’d really like me to come up to my old dorm room to sleep. I reluctantly agreed, but grabbed my prop broadsword from my apartment first. It might help to get through the dangerous crowd.
As I worked my way through hostile rockers, I swung my sword about menacingly. It occurred to me that when I swung it overhead, I was hitting something wooden. I looked up, and as it turns out, I was hitting a stack of pool cues in Old Joe’s Boating Shop on the second floor.
“Enough of this”, I thought. I headed back to the car to try to get some sleep. My GF pleaded with me one last time to sleep upstairs with her. It was then that I noticed how much she resembled Charlize Theron. The offer was inviting, but I wanted sleep. And I was thirsty. Was there water anywhere in the car?
I turned over to reach for my glass, but…
Where was I? Oh yeah, on the futon.
Damned insomnia. Was I never going to get any sleep?