I’ve heard stories about women drinking “quick silver” decades ago as a contraceptive, supposedly it would prevent pregnancy for months to years.
Would that actually work?
Of course it would work. Either it would be fatal, or drive the woman as mad as a Hatter. Either makes successful copulation impossible.
Elemental mercury isn’t quite as dangerous as you might think (I’m still not recommending drinking the stuff though)
You are right. I played with mercury as a kid, and wish I still had that jarful. Melting lead in a coffee can was also a lot of fun. Drinking dissolved lead would probably also be a good long term contraceptive
Mad as a hatter is no obsticle, there is a saying about not sticking your dick in the crazy for a reason …
…and evidently it’s not because you’re taking a chance on becoming an unwilling father.
This paper by Planned Parenthood (256K PDF) mentions this, saying only “Centuries ago, Chinese women drank lead and mercury to control fertility, which often resulted in sterility or death (Skuy, 1995).” The reference is to Skuy, Percy. (1995). Tales of Contraception. Toronto, Canada: Janssen-Ortho Inc. That book is not currently available in a searchable format, so I don’t know exactly what it says.
Centuries ago people did all kinds of things out of superstition or folklore that had no basis in science or other fact. There is no particular reason to think this method was effective.
Something is scratching the back of my brain about Egyptian women and crocodile dung.
And what do you know…and old thread on it: How Did The Egyptians Determine That Crocodile Dung Is An Effective Contraceptive? - Factual Questions - Straight Dope Message Board
I’m no scientist, but I have a theory that sterility and death are effective contraceptives.
Sure it would work, death is the ultimate contraceptive.
Hard to believe anyone in a developed country would even think about this, rather than getting a vasectomy.
There was a reference in an old movie (Oliver Reed?) about using mercury up the urethra as a cure for syphyllis. The alternative was sticking a red-hot wire up there… Much comedy value…
I assume for the OP, anything that had the effect of causing convulsions and serious ill-health might also induce a miscarriage. Are we distinguishing between preventing conception versus dealing with the result of conception?
Ok ya’ll are making some crazy assumptions 
1.I’m not considering this, or advising anyone else to do it.
2.I was curious if actually did what it claimed to, and if so by what mechanism exactly.
3.Side question but how exactly do you pass orally consumed mercury, do you poop it out as a whole or is your poop sparkly?
Mercury played a large role in Chinese alchemy, which (in contrast to Western alchemy, although Western alchemists were also much concerned with mercury) was mostly about finding an elixir of eternal life, rather than making gold. It is said that the first Chinese Emperor, Qin Shi Huang, may well have died of mercury poisoning, from drinking an elixir that he hoped would make him live forever.
The alchemists’ interest in mercury probably stemmed from nothing more than the fact that it is a liquid metal (which is weird enough to make it fascinating), and that it seems to move almost like a living thing when it flows: hence the name quick (i.e., alive) silver.
And accidentally discovered irony!
No, mercury.
More seriously, I looked this up on Micromedex and elemental mercury (i.e. quicksilver) isn’t actually that awful for you. When it is, it just resembles any other mercury poisoning, which is (in high doses) fatal and in lower doses affects the nervous system, blood, and liver. It can harm fetuses, but I didn’t actually see anything about causing sterility.
That’s the problem: even if it did, it would be sterility, not just temporary contraception. I say “unlikely.”
Never copulate while the moon is in the night sky. It works, if it didn’t I would be here.
It is unlikely that it would work. That doesn’t mean people didn’t do it. Drinking mercury based elixirs to attain eternal life did not work - in fact, it had the opposite of the desired effect - but people still did it.
I am not sure whether this is clever, or a typo.
No typo, I’m just a haint. We also get internet access.