I watch a lot of Always Sunny, and find humor in the innovative ways the gang uses to disguise their alcohol consumption. I was watching a recent episode last night, where Dee and Dennis concealed tequila in a sunscreen bottle to get around the stringent open container laws at the Jersey Shore (while Charlie, who didn’t know about the tequila, was just guzzling straight sunscreen–oh, that Charlie :p). So it got me wondering, is this even possible? Could you get an opaque sunscreen (or tanning lotion) bottle clean enough inside to drink out of it without ingesting chemicals? How do you know when it’s clean? The appeal of this method is undeniable for sneaking drinks to the beach or sporting events. Even if you get your purse searched, what security guard is going to think twice about your bottle of sunscreen?
I’m also curious as to the other ways people have disguised their public alcohol consumption (the gang has also dispensed boxed wine into empty soda cans, which seems a lot safer than sunscreen bottles). What have you done or witnessed?
My standard way to clean bottles is to fill them halfway with water, cap and shake vigorously, then dump it out. Repeat several times. This is mostly for recycling purposes, and not for filling it with booze. I doubt sunscreen is toxic, just foul.
A transcontinental flight last year was made more pleasant by my friend/seat neighbor who filled TSA-friendly small bottles for shampoo etc. full of vodka.
I have heard of people doing creative things with CamelBaks, but no first-hand stories.
My sister and brother in law snuck a sunscreen bottle of vodka on a Carnival cruise we all went on as a family this past summer. They didn’t report any change in taste. I think they washed it out and then also ran it through the dishwasher.
I carry a hip flask, but that’s the opposite of a disguise when you drink from it.
For a few undergrad night classes, I would make an O & O (orange soda and orange vodka) in a big fountain drink cup with plenty of ice. That was quite stealthly. I just had to watch how loose my tongue got over the course of a three hour workshop.
I was going to say I I’d run the bottle through the dishwasher, but it seems OpalCat beat me to it (though I’d probably run it through 2 or 3 times, to be sure.) If I wanted to smuggle a clear or almost clear liquor somewhere, I’d probably just full my gray tinted plastic water bottle. Nobody questions a Nalgene bottle
When I was in undergrad and taking art classes, alcohol in class was standard. Not hidden, but out in the open. I brought in a couple of bottles of wine one time* when the whole class helped me find my engagement ring on the floor of the sculpture shop when it fell out of the supposedly-falling-out-proof necklace charm I had it hanging on. One other classmate brewed his own beer and regularly brought in several bottles to share. We had alcohol “to share” in class probably at least once a month, totally in the open.
Back in the day they made binoculars that were actually two flasks. Unscrew the “eye piece” and drink. Just the thing for smuggling booze into a concert or sporting event.
As for the sunscreen bottle, I’d fill it with isopropyl alchohol ,shake well, let it sit for a while, shake again and dump. Repeat. Alchohol is a pretty good solvent for greasy stuff.
I’m jealous. I attended a dry campus, no liquor anywhere. I mean, I’m sure it was still everywhere… I would be utterly unsurprised to find vodka in what appeared to be water bottles, as Lord Il Palazzo mentioned above. But not out in the open, as such. Maybe private schools are different, I went to a Big 10 University.
I’m thinking some dish soap and water followed by a good rinse would take care of it. Maybe shake up and dump an ounce or two of cheap vodka to help get rid of any additional flavors. I’m sure sunscreen tastes nasty, but it’s not like it’s made with strychnine or anything.
I find putting appropriately colored booze/cocktails into soft drink bottles/cans works pretty well for the most part. However, when there are people actively trying to prevent such behavior (security at concerts/sporting events, beach patrol, etc) it doesn’t hurt to up your game a little. One trick I learned is that a disposable coffee cup with a lid looks much more innocuous than other open containers. It’s easy to “sell” the illusion by sipping gingerly as if it’s a hot beverage. It’s a great way to smuggle booze into bars: bouncers will think you’re trying to sober up, which makes their job easier.
If you want to see some really interesting methods, google “sneaking alcohol onto cruise ships.” Regular cruisers are PROS at smuggling booze!
They still make them I’m pretty sure - every time a cameraman spots one during a sporting event it makes the screen and the commentators joke about it.
Ammonia is best for greasy stuff, but then you risk your drink tasting of ammonia. Eeech!
Not alcohol-related, but once when I worked at a movie theater as a teen we had a manager who was like “do whatever you want, what the hell do I care?” He would let us take popcorn home in giant bags and we’d all go to someone’s house after work and watch videos or something. One night we had the bright idea to re-use a couple of the “genuine, imitation, butter-flavored topping” jugs to embezzle soda. No. You can never get those clean enough. Ever. Disgusting.
ALCOHOL-related. I’ve found it ridiculously easy to smuggle margaritas or cosmos into a sporting event by putting them in a Gatorade bottle. One is green, one is red: close enough. Never had anyone be thorough enough to check the seal. I once actually managed to smuggle booze into a game in a huge soy milk bottle, lol. Like someone is bringing a huge (HUGE) bottle of soy milk to guzzle while cheering on their team. HAHAHA. Try to take in a can of pop/soda though and HELL NO! :rolleyes:
Funniest “booze-smuggling” anecdote I remember from [strike]several years[/strike] DECADES ago: a woman was calling into a talk radio show (“Steve and Garry, Scumbag Wormy - idioooots!” For the Chicago Dopers) and was discussing how blotto she and her friends had gotten at a recent concert. (It was a hi-brow sort of show, obviously.) And when Steve asked how she’d gotten booze into the arena she said “I put flasks in a Tampax box in my purse.” That is downright Chuck Norris/MacGuyver-esque.
That having been said…Once my husband and I were at a SF Giants game and sitting behind an EXTREMELY large and HARDCORE group who had somehow managed to smuggle in entire bottles of straight liquor (Smirnoff, Captain Morgan, Jack Daniels, etc.) and swigged copiously straight from the bottles.
Used to fill a water bottle w/vodka for long flights, but the new security rules after 911 ended that little scam. Far as I’m concerned, the terrorists have already won!
(Usually works at stadiums, too, though some places have gotten stricter about checking the seal).
You and me both, pallie. Those were the good old days. And thanks, thelurkinghorror, for giving me the idea to put booze into the TSA-approved bottles. Maybe the good old days have returned? I’ve got a long flight coming up in two weeks and need all the help I can get.
I haven’t scrutinized one lately, but perhaps they have plugs with the tiny openings, which can be removed. Many other containers, like for salad dressing, have this arrangement.
They haven’t won yet. You’re allowed as many single-serve “airplane bottles” of liquor as you can cram into a 1-quart ziploc bag (which is quite a few, IME). Costs a little more than filling a water bottle up with vodka, but it’s still a lot cheaper than the drinks on the plane (assuming you’re flying on a domestic (US) airline). It gets smiles from the TSA agents every time.
