Dear Cockbite from Maryland,
I know it’s 3AM and I’m on I-95 South because I have to drive 7 hours and never mind why.
Perhaps you’re lonely. Perhaps you’re scared. Perhaps you want to have car-to-car sex at 78MPH. I do not know.
GET THE SWEET JAY-JESUS FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!! I don’t know what the fuck made your herd instinct kick in, but there are two cars on this highway within a mile of each other and you have to sit on my quarterpanel for a FUCKING HOUR YOU FUCKING FUCK!
Listen, cow-person. There are DEER and other animals on the side of the highway. It’s LATE. I need manuver room in case they cross in front of me or there’s a GIANT GODDAMN TRUCK TIRE IN MY LANE LIKE THE ONE THAT WAS FUCKING THERE!
I slowed down, so you could speed ahead. You got 10 ft in front in your lane… AND THEN SLOWED TO MATCH MY SPEED!
I sped up to leave you behind and did so… AND THEN THERE YOU ARE CRAWLING UP MY FLANK AGAIN!
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!?!
Fuck you intersate stalker. Just fuck you. A fucking hour of you 2ft off my left/right. You are lucky that I am not completely psychotic and didn’t have a shottie or I swear to god we’d be reading about you on the google news.
That is all.
Regards,
-Bouncer-