Drunks on TV

In order to do my part in adding to the useless clutter on the Internet, I’m going to put an homage to “Drunks on TV” on my site.

The obvious ones that come to mind are Barney from the Simpsons, Norm from Cheers, and my namesake Otis from Andy Griffith.

I appeal to all of you for help in producing others. I’m leaning more towards comical/happy drunks, so no Bailey from Party of Five and no Lifetime movie submissions please. Thanks.

“Stop the rope and let me in or I’ll go out and get some gin”

Red Skelton, 'nuff said.


“Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.” Bob Dylan

That Forster guy on the old Hollywood Squares


Teacher, my red crayon tastes funny – Ralph Wiggum

Scotty from Star Trek.

How about Crazy Guggenheim from the old Jackie Gleason show, and a comedian named Foster Brooks who played the same drunk character in a lot of shows (he was Mindy’s boss in later episodes of Mork & Mindy.)


I understand all the words, they just don’t make sense together like that.

Were Larry, Darryl and Darryl from Newhart drunks? Or were they just hoboes, albeit sober ones?


Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@kozmo.com

“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

Then there’s always Dirty Devil from “Cops”.
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::running very far away…


“Don’t bother to pack your bags, Or your map.
We won’t need them where we’re goin’,
We’re goin’ where the wind is blowin’.”

What, the ass-kicking I gave you last night wasn’t enough? I will have to kill you now, I hope you realize this. I’ll be home around 10:00. That gives you a little over 10 hours left. Enjoy them while you can, Sparky.

Look, it’s people like you what cause unrest.

How about Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf that’s always on the Howard Stern show

(It’s on E! every night so it’s on TV as well as radio)

I don’t know how many Stern fans are out there, but the lifesize cardboard cutout of Hank in the pink bunny suit in the studio is hysterical.

Steve, the episode that the cut out was made from was a riot. Hank couldn’t even speak he was so wasted, and then wobbling around in the bunny suit, very funny.

MoJo, busted out when I read that one.

My favorite, while not on TV was Bluto Blutarski. Toga! Toga!

Minor nit-pick: The guy from Hollywood Squares was Foster Brooks.


The odds that the bread will fall butter side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Henry Blake, Hawkeye Pierce, and Trapper John from Mash? At least, Henry.
Karen from Will and Grace
Fun Bobby from Friends

What about a TV AA chapter:
Grace Kelly Grace Under Fire
Tony Russo Blossom
Sam Malone Cheers
John Hemingway The John Larroquette Show

Don’t forget Deano! Dean Martin made a television career out of being tipsy.

TV drunk tidbit: Dick van Dyke did a great drunk routine, but Carl Reiner could never figure out how to work it into the series. He finally wrote a story line where Rob is hypnotized into <i>believing<i> he is drunk whenever he hears a bell. And much hilarity ensued…

Thanks for the great replies so far. I’m getting them all down, searching for pictures etc.

In a feeble attempt to compete with threads started by, or about Mike what’s his name, I’d like to say, “back to the top.”


“Stop the rope and let me in or I’ll go out and get some gin”

Apocryphal story (or UL, if you prefer):
Foster Brooks was on an airliner in the days before passengers were banned from the cockpit. As a joke, the crew let him get on the intercom to address the passengers. Taking on his “drunken” persona, he said:

“Ladies an’ (hic) gennlmen, this is the (hic) captain speaking. We’re cruising along at 35,000 feet in a Boeing 707… (hic)… sorry, 727… I’ve never been in one of these before…”

As for other drunks… there were drunken men who stared disbelieving at the antics of Samantha on Bewitched.

Not a character on a show, and not even visible, but you could mention the announcer for the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. I swear, he became less and less intelligible as the event wore on. I am convinced he was sipping on something in his little announcer’s booth!

Chrome Toaster

Harry Karey! Okay, not a sit-com, but sure was drunk.

Not a sit-com, but Floyd On Food.

more from movies than TV, I’m surprised I didn’t see W.C. Fields in this list. I’m hoping I just didn’t read closely enough.


Mayor of Snerdville, the home of Mortimer Snerd

“I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.”
–Wayne Knight

Larry King. As heard on this clip here. I hope this works.

[a href=“http://www.kiddkiss.com/cb1drunkdj.rdm”]Click here [/a]

And if that doesn’t work, try this: http://www.kiddkiss.com/cb1drunkdj.rdm

I heard this on the radio and I thought it was an absolute hoot. At the end of are some other drunk deejays.


“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”