DRY: Shakespeare on the election

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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:::Newbie takes deep breath upon trying to start his own MPSIMS thread. Wishes his mentor Persephone was here to hold his hand. Don’tscrewitupDon’tscrewitupDon’tscrewitup:::

DRY:
Yesterday AM on Good Morning America there was this puff-piece segment speculating about what The Bard would have made of this election debacle. Diane Sawyer seemed to go somewhat loony about the subject, though all I could make her out saying was something about “tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow”, and later this segue: “Tony, how goes the weather?”.

At that point I realized I’m way too involved in the SDMB 'coz I immediately thought of you. I’ve never come across someone who can pull out Bill S. quotes appropriate to any discussion, the way you do. I’m in awe - the best I can do is spout random quotes from Monty Python, which rarely have any relevance (“A shroe, a shroe, my dingkcome rof a shroe” - Ring Kichard the Thrid). Same with Looney Tunes lines ("…I’m Sam Crewbish!").

So, (back to my point) what’s yer take on the GMA piece? The only relevant-to-the election quote I could think of betrays my cynicism: “…a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

[sub]DISCLAIMER: I apologize for injecting election tripe into MPSIMS, but I’m ready to declare the election as Mundane, Pointless Stuff.[/sub]

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how about the solution: (inexact quote)

“First, kill all the lawyers…”

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How about this quote:

“That strain again!/It had a dying fall.” (Twelfth Night, Act I, sc. i)

That ‘strain’ could be Al Gore straining to find a way to win (or, in the terms of the play, the strain was the notes played on a musical instument [a lute?], so it could be the Democrats’ carping). And the dying fall could be a prediction of the election’s outcome. :slight_smile:

I guess we could probably come up with any number of Bill quotes and apply them to this durned election…

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Here’s a link to similar effort by Harold Bloom (a quite feeble effort, IMHO, but at least he’s not Diane Sawyer). Today’s William Safire column is titled “Al Gore Agonistes”, a reference to the John Milton poem. Sheesh, every pundit has to show us how “cultured” he or she is. I too am certain DRY could do better.

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First of all Tygr, there’s not a damned thing wrong with quoting Monty Python instead of Shakespeare. In these parts, it’s just as good. Maybe better. Oh, and your original post was fine, relax!

I have to admit it: I didn’t see Good Morning America, so I don’t know the context of the quotes, which quotes were used, and I obviously don’t have a take. Anyone know where I can find a transcript of the show?

What would I come up with? Well, I’ll apologize in advance, as this is a pretty rough first effort.

Quotes about either Gore or Bush, or both:

“I am whipp’d and scourged with rods,
Nettled and stung with pismires, when I hear
Of this vile politician”
–Henry IV, Part 1, Act 1, Scene iii

" though I cannot be said to
be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied
but I am a plain-dealing villain"
–Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene iii

“Here comes a pair of very strange beasts,
which in all tongues are called fools”
–As You Like It, Act 5, Scene iv
Quotes about their interminable speeches:

“here will be an old abusing of
God’s patience and the king’s English”
–The Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 1, Scene iv

“His reasons are as two grains of wheat
hid in two bushels of chaff:
you shall seek all day ere you find them,
and when you have them,
they are not worth the search.”
–Merchant of Venice, Act 1, Scene i
About chads:

“I have seen the day of wrong
through the little hole of discretion”
–Love’s Labor Lost, Act 5, Scene ii
About Washington DC in general:

“They say this town is full of cozenage,
As, nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,
Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
And many such-like liberties of sin”
–The Comedy of Errors, Act 1, Scene ii
About how the average voter must feel about the whole legal snafu:

“Between two hawks, which flies the higher pitch;
Between two dogs, which hath the deeper mouth;
Between two blades, which bears the better temper:
Between two horses, which doth bear him best;
Between two girls, which hath the merriest eye;
I have perhaps some shallow spirit of judgement;
But in these nice sharp quillets of the law,
Good faith, I am no wiser than a daw.”
–Henry VI, Part 1, Act 2, Scene iv
And finally, about the whole mucked up election in general:

“If this were played upon a stage now, I could
condemn it as an improbable fiction.”
–Twelfth Night, Act 3, Scene iv

[sub]Thanks for the vote of confidence. Humble Servant, I couldn’t access the link–it took me to a subscriber page.[/sub]

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And an Python quote for good measure, in reference to those protesting their butterfly ballots:

Dennis: … Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
Arthur: Bloody peasant!
Dennis: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That’s what I’m on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn’t you?

(I guess one could also put Gore and Bush in there as Dennis and Arthur respectively.)

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DRY yer awesome. Lookit THAT, everybody! He even came up with one for CHADS, firkreisaches!

Sir, I salute you and your command of high literature.

And thanks for the vote of confidence, too.

mrblue92, how 'bout this one from the same scene:

Dennis: Lissen, strange wimmen lyin’ in ponds, distribyootin’ swords is no basis for a system of guvermint!
(Actually, it’s lookin’ pretty good right now!)

Dennis: Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
(Even when the masses can’t even get their sh*t together enuf to fill out their ballots correctly?)

Dennis: If I went ‘round sayin’ I was an emporer, jus’ 'coz some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
(I dunno, I’d 'a voted for him…)

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DRY,

Once again, you score! <salaams in DRY’s direction>

Any one of those quotes would make a wonderful sig besides.

The only Shakespeare I can remember is Lady MacBeth’s sleepwalking scene. As sung by the ‘Dimpled Chads’ (a good name for a rock band) - “Out damn spot, Out I say!”

(That entire speech has been stuck in my head for 40+ years, and I can’t remember the name of someone I was introduced to 30 seconds ago. - Sheesh!)

And to quote the Knights who say NI: “Bring us a shrubbery!”
(pretty lame, but at least I try to keep up.)

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:smiley:

[sub] he is pretty cool, isn’t he?[/sub]

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Hugs, DRY, you did it again!

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Sorry, but I have to be a smartass about this one (but isn’ this was the SDMB’s are all about?). I had to memorize this for the school play last month.

“If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
That strain again! it had a dying fall:
O, it came o’er my ear like the sweet sound,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:
'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.
O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou,
That, notwithstanding thy capacity
Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,
Of what validity and pitch soe’er,
But falls into abatement and low price,
Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy
That it alone is high fantastical.”
I really don’t see how this relates to the election.

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I thank those of you who complimented me for your kind words!

Some good stuff posted by everyone! :slight_smile:

Hey Monty Python folk–is there any website that has transcripts from the shows or movies? I’m trying to find one, so that I can quote from Python as I do from Shakespeare (blocking and copying, instead of typing the whole thing in).

Anyone know of any such websites?

Anyway, here’s one more quote I found, on the fickleness of the courts and politics in general:

“Look, as I blow this feather from my face,
And as the air blows it to me again,
Obeying with my wind when I do blow,
And yielding to another when it blows,
Commanded always by the greater gust;
Such is the lightness of you common men.”
–Henry VI, Part 3, Act 3, Scene i