Any psychiatrists or insurance types on board? I need to know how a diagnostic code for mental illness is written, specifically one from the DSM IV (is that the current one?).
For example, does it make sense to say “DSM IV: 301.81” for narcisism, or would it be written some other way? I need to have some stuff printed up as an inside joke for my fellow crazies.
I’m neither a shrink nor an insurance type, however I worked in the medical records field years ago (many years) and became somewhat familiar with psych terminology. Since then I’ve read a number of books, articles and studies on mental and other kinds of illnesses and from what I can tell professionals in the field don’t write things like “DSM IV: 301. 81”, sounds almost Biblical, like Genesis 2, chapter 4, verse 11 or whatever. More likely it would be bipolar for what used to be called manic-depressive disorder, BPD for borderline personal disorder, and things of that sort. Major depression is, well, major depression or maybe major depressive disorder. Narcissism is narcissistic personality disorder. There’s doubtless more “coded” language-terminology for statistical analysis, and some of this doubtless makes its way to insurance companies. My sense is that people in that field, trained in statistics though they are, actually don’t understand most of the medical-psych terms in general use. I hope that the aforementioned has been of help. The bottom line: there’s vastly more confusion, ignorance and misunderstanding in the world that most of us realize. If you want to make a joke about narcissism to a fellow crazy it’s probably best to go the Woody Allen-Spalding Gray route and describe what it feels like to be and live that way, offer examples, don’t dive into the DSM or a textbook for a punch-line.
Not psychiatry but notes from psych often include the diagnoses listed along the various axes in longhand, so to to speak. That ICD-9 code (301.81) is really only used for billing purposes.
DSM-IV uses what they call a “multi-axial diagnosis system”. Axis I refers to clinical disorders like mood disorders (i.e., depression), thought disorders (i.e., schizophrenia), substance abuse/dependence (i.e., alcoholism), etc. Axis II (where one would list 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is for personality disorders and developmental issues, such as mental retardation. Axis III is for general medical conditions (Diabetes). Axis IV is for psychosocial and environmental issues (lack of social support, job loss, etc.) and Axis V lists GAF, or Global Assessment of Functioning - essentially, how the person is functioning interpersonally, professionally, personally, financially and legally. Laugh a minute, so far, eh? 
Anyway, in the event that you are still awake, the listing might look like this in someone’s chart:
Axis I: 295.70 Schizoaffective Disorder, depressive type
Axis II: 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Axis III: Endogenous Obesity
Axis IV: Primary Support Group, Occupational
Economic Stressors
Axis V: Current: 44 Highest, past year: 55
Hope that helps!