Candle…In the wind. (Sorry. had to be done)
Candle…MRI machine.
Road flare…
(so good, it had to be done twice)
Smoke Detector…Road Flare
Cat litter…
cat litter - dog food (sadly, at least one dog has already contrived to make this combo a reality)
calculator…
calculator—TV remote control
bar code scanner
bar code scanner - dog whistle
machete -
machete - My First Sword Of Damocles crib mobile
Notepad(the paper kind)-
Notepad…tampon
Condom…
condom - subwoofer
floor jack -
floor jack - film camera
Vibrating mattress…
vibrating mattress - Zlad’s Eletronik Supersonik video on VHS
paperclip…
paper clip… electrical circuit tester. 
Hand mirror…
Hand mirror…computer mouse
Dog whistle…
Dog whistle…printing press.
Steering wheel lock…
Steering wheel lock & top hat.
Bottle of rum…
bottle of rum…cargo hook
ladle…
ladle…sex toy (who here remembers that one?)
Electric can opener…
electric can opener - cello bow
dog food bowl…
dog food bowl…pooper scooper
monthly bus pass…
monthly bus pass… whitehead scraper
Microwave oven …
Microwave oven … tanning lamp
“Stick your head in a microwave and get yourself a tan”.-Weird Al.
Reel-to-reel tape player…