Duck problem, or 'How do I get revenge on my boss?'

In another thread (I am twitching to badly to look it up), I mentioned he received a “Billy Bass” for Christmas last year. (It was delived via UPS and must have been singing all the way to the office, since the batteries were quite run down. No such luck this year.)

My boss just received this year’s Christmas present.

MaxMallard, the Singing Duck.

It’s a Wise-Quacking Duck.

It has a motion sensor, so for the last hour, he has been waving his hands and walking about the room to set this thing off:

It sings.
“Rock the Boat! Don’t Rock the Boat, Baby!”
“Hit Me With Your Best Shot!”

It talks.
“So THAT’S what a decoy is for!”
“Hey, I’ve got a website. It’s at the end of my leg!”

It drives me insane.

I work for an environmental organization, but am very seriously considering taking up duck-hunting, only for one single species - Mallardus annoyingus plasticus.

Any suggestions? What should I do besides getting earplugs? What you would do if you received one of these?

How can I get revenge on my boss without getting fired?

You could give his children Christams gifts! Find the most annoying-loud-obnoxious- childrens present and revel in the fact that you have just made his holidays a living nightmare. Perhaps a drum set.

Buy yourself one of these and go mano-a-mano with Max.

May the best duck win…

EASY! Since the thing runs on batteries (I’m guessing 4 AA type), find out what the brand is, and replace them with 4 of the same type, only burned out. This will keep said Duck from quacking up, and will save your sanity as well.

If it’s on an electrical cord, you’re sunk.

Evil plan: Borrow a metronome (surely you know someone who has a metronome(?)) and set it up in front of the thing after your boss leaves for the evening. The duck’ll babble at the metronome all night and the batteries will be history in the morning. Just beat your boss to work in the morning to retrieve your accomplice.

One excellent way to wind him up is to get one of those dog trainer clicker devices.

Every time he walks past click it once or twice and stop when he looks around, look as if you are too busy with your work to notice.
You must ry to keep a straight face but you can be very creative, like timing it with his footfalls, or when he closes a drawer or something.

Sounds simple but it will drive him wild and it’s endlessly entertaining, even better don’t tell anyone else about it either.

At least he is out of the office today, so Max has been quiet; that is, until the assistant walked into his office and the duck started up. I think she’s annoyed with it too.

absoul - no kids, cats. Besides, I bought a set of kazoos for my godchild’s birthday, and still haven’t heard the end of that.

Duck Duck Goose - Dang, I’m gonna to get me one of those! I have a set of owl and bird calls, and that looks like fun to keep in the office anyway. (And for godchild’s birthday next year.)

caircair - battery idea - excellent! I have a whole drawer full of old batteries that I haven’t recycled yet. (The duck is not electric. Electric Duck - sounds like a rock band from the 60s.)

beatle - I have a metronome (great idea), but it’s electric, with no moving parts. I like the idea though.

casdave - sounds good, but I’d have to have one hand on the clicker and one on the keyboard, phone, printer and all the office equipment. He walks about the office alot!

If he doesn’t bring it home in the next day or so, I think I’ll end up going with caircair’s idea.

Rip out it’s guts. A pox on all motion activated novilty toys. Apply way to much voltage to the thing and fry it’s electronics.


Chicken out and bring in a telephone that does anoying stuff, like a desk phone that quacks.