Broken Link
Promise?
But it can be used to patch a van radiator. Just not very well.
But it can be used to help support a sustained nuclear reaction. :eek:
Duct tape doesn’t work to patch fire hoses.
Nor does it act as an effective substitute for teflon tape for fitting threaded piping fasteners.
cut skin.
Once when camping one of my uncles cut himself and did not have a first aid kit around so he used Duct tape that was in his truck. He later said pulling the tape off hurt worse than the cut did.
It’s mediocre at best at fixing hemorrhoids…
It is great for fixing…
DOOM HOLES OF DEATH!!
But not so good for fixing gaping chest wounds inflicted with a blunt axe.
You cannot duct-tape the opposing sides of the San Andreas Fault together to prevent earthquakes.
Duct-taping snow will not prevent an avalanche. You also cannot duct-tape rocks to the ground in a falling rock zone to prevent falling rocks.
You cannot duct-tape soil in irrigation ditches to prevent soil erosion.
Duct tape will not fix a boxing match.
It works on warts, though.
Duct tape can NOT be used to repair…
- a vasectomy
- male pattern baldness
- a light bulb fillament
- an ingrown toenail
- the Grand Canyon
Duct tape can’t be used to repair:
sinkholes,
Michael Jackson’s nose,
a family rift,
hurt feelings or
cavities.
*Sunburn (I shudder at the thought)
*Broken bones, though it can be used in a pinch to splint a finger and keep it straight. It’ll hurt like hell to yank it off, though.
*Scratched CDs.
*crumbled-up cookies
BIZZZZZ … wrong answer. We’re talking duct tape and ONLY duct tape, not duct tape along with other tools and/or materials. I could duct tape 2-by-4s together then run a couple nails through them and build a house too.
Well, it’s NOT a substitute for good taste.
You could probably avoid the hurting part by essentially making a “tape loop” out of the duct tape first. Wrap the duct tape sticky-side up around the finger until the ends meet and overlap. The loop should be fairly firm to hold the finger straight. Then cut/rip the tape, and now wrap more tape sticky-side down right over the tape that’s already in place. This covers up the stickiness and adds more firm support to the “splint”. Only small areas of stickiness will actually be on the skin, and it could easily be cut off with a slim scissors.
Duct tape cannot be used to repair…credit…
…but it can be used to tie up a clerk who won’t issue you credit, allowing you to loot the store.
Duct tape cannot be used to repair tear ducts. But it is, however, a great way to remove all of your eyelashes. :dubious:
From The Handyman’s Corner Archive:
I’ve got to say, the episode where Red tried that was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
Damn, my mistake sorry 'bout that. I skimmed that chapter in the manual 1001 Uses for Duct Tape.
You think duct tape might help fix the speed on these boards?
and I’ll warn you now that duct tape isn’t a good replacement for toilet paper either. :eek:
a horse race or a boxing match 
Perforated eardrum
Broken hymen
aortic aneurysm
broken piece of sidewalk
lawnmower blade
8-track tape
cracked LP
burnt cheese sandwich
dead hamster
I’ll think of more, but you don’t want to know
Duct tape can NOT be used to repair… [ul]
[li]a book page with writing front and back[/li][li]self-esteem[/li][li]a sick fish[/li][li]a flaky teflon skillet[/li][li]a bad call or error in a sports game, especially an important one[/li][li]the national deficit[/li][li]Fred Phelps[/li][li]ice skate blades[/li][li]burnt toast[/li][li]lack of internet service :eek: [/li][li]world hunger[/li][li]Anna Nicole Smith[/li][/ul]
Duct tape /can/ be used to fix things that rhyme with orange, I’ve tried it.