Anyone remember hearing that story in the news where 2 fishermen used duct tape to fix a boar repeatedly and eventually it sank and they drowned but I think it actually worked for a while 
Why would one fish from a large male pig, and what caused the pig to leak? 
Duct tape cannot repair a:
Swiss watch
Clogged artery
Can’t repair a hymen!?
Well, you’re just not trying hard enough.
It can’t fix what ain’t broken.
lol that was supposed to be “boat” but I could see the potential allure of fishinf from feral swine. 
Fishing…damnit!!!
Actually, one should use super-glue to seal cuts. It works like a charm, but I’m sure stings like Hell at first…and I’m also not sure as to the toxicity of super-glue in an open wound…but it will stop bleeding!
They use it (superglue, not duct tape) to close wounds after surgery.
Duct tape cannot mend presbyopia, but it can mend the glasses one must wear to correct it.
broken roll of duct tape.
There’s a Far Side cartoon in there somewhere: a couple of guys applying duct tape to a boar’s crotch, over and over again, while the boar slowly loses his temper.
“It worked when the wife tried to get lint off her sweater! How long’s this pig gonna hang on to his balls, anyway?”
You know what makes excellent protection against stoning?
Duct tape.