There was an episode of Leave It to Beaver where Lumpy Rutherford (?) was for some reason waiting in a car, and he passed the time by beating on the steering wheel and chanting “Zoom, zoom, zooma zooma zooma zooma,” which seemed very odd to me. Years later I first heard Dr. Demento play “Transfusion” and realized that’s what Lumpy was singing.
this
Are you sure? Have you heard Does Your Chewing Gun Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?
I don’t think that song (“There’s a New Sound”) should count because it was meant to be stupid and annoying in order to make a point.
In the “but it wasn’t supposed to be dumb” category, I nominate two songs so hideously stupid I refuse to link to any rendition of them lest I be accused of slaying other people’s brain cells wantonly…but unlike most of the songs here, they weren’t meant to be taken as jokes…
McArther Park
In the Year 2525
Bernard Cribbins - Right Said Fred
And Chewing Gum on the Bedpost reminds me of another Lonnie Donegan song:
Cool coincidence here. Yesterday, for no particular reason I can think of, I found myself remembering that bit with Clarence* zooming on the steering wheel, wondering what song he was doing. Now I know.
(* Fred’s lad.)
And you think YOU know where it’s at?
All these years later and I still laugh everytime I hear the dumb teenager blurt out his confession:
“Mom, I toreabigholeintheconvertible.”
How about Spike Jones and his City Slickers?
Oops. Wrong song. I shall commit seppuku at once.
How about “The Laughing Gnome” by David Bowie? If I’d done that, I’d wake up every morning wishing I could hit the cosmic erase button.
Another example of a musical portrayal of a really dumb character is “That’s My Girl” by the Monks.
I just heard Teenage Enema Nurse on KROQ’s rock of the '80s stream. Actually I think it’s a pretty *good *song but sophisticated it aint.
If I switch to a '70s station I might hear Bertha Butt Boogie. Dumb might have in fact been the default for 70s pop music.
This Is Ponderous by 2Nu
Agree completely with that and your selections. I was big into The Cramps in the 80’s, then life intervened and I forgot about them and Call Of The Wighat. It’s on my playlist now, as well as What’s Inside A Girl, where they should have been all along. Thanks for reviving some classic rock for me.
RIP Lux.
In the spirit of this thread I’ll nominate Invisible Birds:
But I agree most of these songs aren’t dumb in the same sense that McAuther Park is dumb. In this category I’ll nominate American Pie. I know I’m probably in the minority on this because everyone loves this song but imo it’s dumb.
As far as the Beatle songs mentioned I’ll conceede I can’t defend Why Don’t We Do It in The Road but EGSTHEFMAMM is a nice little rocker.
One from Britain, IMO high up there where sheer idiocy is concerned. An (English-language) song from South Wales, Crawshay Bailey (sometimes corrupted to “Cosher” Bailey). Crawshay Bailey was a real historical personage – an early-nineteenth-century industrialist active in South Wales. The song, however – which has potentially dozens of verses – is largely pure nonsense concerning the eccentric doings of Crawshay and his various relatives, plus plenty of verses just about “random Welsh stuff”.
Attempted Googling failed to yield for me, any lyrics for the song. Am therefore setting out the parts of it which I remember: which I plan to do in a post immediately following this one.
WORDS OF SONG CRAWSHAY BAILEY
Crawshay Bailey had an engine,
And she always needed mending,
But according to the power
She could do four miles an hour.
REFRAIN
Did you ever see, did you ever see,
Did you ever see such a funny thing before?
Crawshay had her second-hand.
And he painted her so grand;
When the driver went to oil her,
Why, he nearly burst the boiler…
On the night run up from Gower
She did twenty miles an hour –
As she whistled through the station,
And she frightened half the nation…
Crawshay Bailey’s brother Norwich
Was fond of oatmeal porridge,
But was sent to Cardiff College
For to get himself some knowledge.
Crawshay Bailey’s brother Michael
He rides a motor-cycle –
He rode right round the Gower
In a quarter of an hour.
(I remember only the first halves of the verses about his brothers Rupert and Morgan:
Crawshay Bailey’s brother Rupert
He played scrum-half for Newport
and
Crawshay Bailey’s brother Morgan
In the chapel plays the organ… )
Crawshay’s little sister Lily
She played soccer for Caerphilly;
But when she took up rugger,
She looked such a silly – billy.
Crawshay Bailey’s auntie Anna
She plays the grand pianner:
She goes hammer, hammer, hammer,
And the neighbours shout, God – bless her !
Have you ever been to Wales
Where they brew the beer and ales?
If you go to church on Sunday
You must buy a round on Monday.
Oh, the choir on Sunday night
Sing much better when they’re tight –
Their performance of “Cwm Rhondda”
Makes the angels shake up yonder.
You should see the bees of Gower
As they flit from flower to flower;
You should see the bees of Llangollen
As they gather in the pollen…
Crawshay Bailey died one day:
In his coffin there he lay –
On the lid they heard a knocking:
Crawshay Bailey was just joking !
(“Gower”, mentioned several times, is a picturesque and rather delightful rural area: a peninsula some fifteen by five miles, immediately west of Swansea.)
I had heard of this song, but never heard it…until right now.
Anyone else think it’s a parody, or takeoff, or whatever, of “Rock Lobster”?
Splish Splash.
I like Bobby Darin, but come on.