Dumb things in movies

They suck, but I have complete creative control.

:cool:

Remember kids, always take time to doubletap …

Last time i had a concussion that bad, I vomited everything up except my toenails when I woke up, and then for the next few days I had to move really slowly because of the gnomes mining for gold in my head, and if I did try to sit up or move fast I still tended to vomit. The fracture wasn’t bad enough to need surgery thankfully. Though the drugs were nice. Then I had to leave the hospital so I had a friend come down and get me to take me to visit her sister who just had a kid and wanted me to be the godmother to get me away from my ex for a while so I wouldn’t have to deal with getting hit and possibly reinjured.

People end phone conversations by simply hanging up/turning off, without so much as a “by your leave” or “goodbye.”

Almost everyone answers their phone by just saying their last name. While this looks cool on TV, I’ve not once ever experienced someone actually do this IRL.

“Gimme a beer” or “gimme a pack of smokes.” (This stupid trope is dying off thanks to product placement, which is of course even worse.)

Nobody ever, ever locks the door before masturbating, cheating on their spouse/significant other, attempting to have morning sex while kids are in the house, etc.

This one actually does work if you do it slowly enough.

My Dad, in fact his whole wing at his company, did.

“Spankerson.”

“Hello, Spankerson, this is yer kid. Can I go to Astroworld with the Cowpers this weekend?”

Keanu Reeves
Mel Gibson
Ronald Reagan
Gwyneth Paltrow
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Others

Bad guy gets kicked square in the cajones, but is able to get up and chase the good guy within 30 seconds. Ain’t happening, people.

The majority of cars that get into crashes or that go careening down steep embankments explode into a ball of fire don’t they?

Military salutes. If you’re portraying a member of the military, please learn how to salute properly. The sloppy salutes people use in movies and TV shows really bug me.

And let’s not get into the long hair they allow military characters to wear…

And kids who never grow up. As much as I like Bridge of Spies, it takes place over a period of several years, but Tom Hanks’s kids never age.

Often just before they hit the ground.

Everything that crashes in The Simpsons explodes into a ball of fire. Including the Flying Nun.

I give you the Will Smith (and son) movie After Earth.

The film is set after humans developed huge spaceships capable of travelling many multiples the speed of light. A war breaks out on the planet Nova Prime against the alien Skrel who deployed on the planet a bioengineered weapon. The terrifying bear like creatures named Ursa are blind and hunt humans by smelling their fear.

  1. If the Skrel can bioengineer whole creatures why limit it by making it blind?

  2. If an Ursa cannot smell your fear it will not attack. So really all the humans need to do is wear a simple sealed spacesuit and they would be undetectable?

  3. Instead the film has Rangers who control their fear, they ‘Ghost’ as the film has it, enabling them to sneak up on an Ursa and kill it by stabbing it. So why not just shoot it from half a mile away? These are people who have faster than light space ships!

There were other problems with the film including the trained crew of a crippled space ship not bothering to send out a distress signal, a space ship literally breaking apart in the upper atmosphere but at least two people aboard surviving the impact as they crashed to the ground, a flesh eating giant eagle inexplicably saving a boy’s life instead of just eating him…

TCMF-2L

I’ve been marathoning The Walking Dead, and the terrible gun tropes and capabilities are driving me batty.

-Pistols with long-distance sniper accuracy
-Super silencers
-Superfluous cocking and chambering and racking
-Bullets that can’t penetrate a leaf
-People that jump out of full cover to pose guns blazing, then jump back into cover

A-Team had more technical accuracy than this show does.

You don’t think you are expecting a bit too much in the area of accuracy from a show about corpses walking around?

They did that on the “Sherlock” episode (Benedict Cumberbatch) where they were back in the Victorian Era, and the Undead Bride shows up with a Victorian Era shotgun, which she proceeds to rack.

That isn’t quite as dumb as it might appear. They did that on Mythbusters, and you can actually shoot fairly well while jumping or falling. Gunfire is kinda random anyway, in real firefights: anything out in the front cone of the gun has a decent chance of getting hit.

There is no safe pretty way to give someone a concussion, and no rational person ever hit a loved one over the head with a pistol handle “for his own good”.

In WWII half of all military casualties by both Axis and Allies in the European Theatre were from artillery, not side arms and Bowie knives like war movies would have you believe.

98% of the audience.

I haven’t seen it…but it’s my understanding they torture Powers in the film? Eff that film.

The unknown is what made other Powers films fear for him. Are they going to execute him? Torture him? Will he get a fair trial?