“Invert the phase modulation on the nutrillium array!”
42% of people know that.
78.8% of people lie to pollsters.
Yeah, it is Listerine. And they claim that it was a clinical study that showed that Listerine is just as good as flossing. So … are they lying? Is there something they aren’t telling us? Or are they just covering themselves against the inevitable lawsuit by J. Random Guy who started using one drop of Listerine daily (“Well, that stuff burns if I use more!”) and stopped flossing and his teeth all fell out?
The local car dealer ads are what drive me crazy. There’s one around here who ends every one of his ads with “I wouldn’t lie to you.” If you have to tell me this, I wouldn’t trust you. I remember another that said “If I tell you a rooster dips snuff, then you’d better look under his wing!” Huh?
[ol]
[li]The gravity-defying Three Musketeers bar commercial makes me want to scream. Your candy bar doesn’t float in the air, you bastards. It doesn’t fly. Why say that it does when it just freakin’ doesn’t?[/li]. . . A flying candy bar would be cool though.
[li]I have no idea what is actually in Sunny Delite, but it is obviously not orange juice or anything else reasonably healthy, or they’d actually say so.[/li][li]Yes, Bayer aspririn is no doubt the only brand of aspirin clinically shown to reduce the risk of heart attack. That would be because hardly anyone uses brand-name aspirin because we all know that’s it’s the same as generic aspirin.[/li][/ol]
The slogan that I remember being most annoyed with was the old: “It’s not just a job: It’s an adventure!” for the US Navy.
We always asked each other: “Is this the job part or the adventure?”
Cortislim
Are you tired of losing meaningless weight?
WTF does that mean? Isn’t weight loss weight loss? How can it be meaningless? Is Cortislim weight loss more important than normal weight loss?
I really don’t get it.
An old UK ad for pain medication:
“Nothing acts faster than Anadin”
Oh well, I’ll keep my money then. :rolleyes:
Another really irritating old one for some kinda disinfectant:
“Kills all known germs - dead!”
Is there any other way? 
Oh, Zest. A long time ago, when I was a little kid, they had this commercial: “For the first time in your life, feel really clean!” So I went to stay at my aunt’s house–I think I was about five at the time–and she had a brand-new bar of Zest by the tub. I thought, Oh boy! For the first time in my life I’m gonna feel really clean!
What can I say, I was just a kid. It wasn’t quite as bad as finding out there was no Santa Claus.
What were they thinking? They had this slogan for years and most of the people buying Zest were not gullible 5-year-olds.
DUZ does it all
No it DUZN’T!
It’s a DETERGENT!
Can it COOK!?
Can it FLY!?
Can it PREDICT THE FUTURE!?
Can it RAISE THE DEAD!?
NO!!!
;j
(My emphasis.) An extra 8-12 hours unmolested goes a long way for plaque-building bacteria. Also note that all the participants already had gingivitis – so it’s a bit of a no-brainer that antiseptic wash, twice daily, is going to help to reverse it better than flossing once a day would.
Of course, they still have to say “keep flossing,” because healthy gums are a small consolation when your molars rot out of your head because they’ve got decomposing meat and corn jammed in between them most of the time. 
Bzzt! We have a winner! 
My first encounter with Zest had me sniffing the bar like crazy, because the commercials had convinced me that the smell of Zest would really wake me up in the morning. They didn’t come right out and say that, of course, but the commercials always showed a man or woman holding the bar to their nose and inhaling deeply…
Ford truck commercials on the radio. Something like this:
Changing a diaper…
Your mother-in-law’s meatloaf…
An IRS audit…
Ford’s F-150…
These tough things are blah blah blah.
But are you thinking “tough things” when you think about changing a diaper or getting audited? Or are you thinking about revolting, disgusting things that piss you off?
What about the Walgreen’s ads where they talk about a place called Perfect and somehow Walgreen’s is the closest you’ll ever get?
If that’s true, kill me now. Because life is really shitty when the closest place to perfect is some corporate drugstore chain.
Oh, and how about “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter?” Yes, I CAN!!! Even the name is false advertising!
Maybe they’re comparing it to Ansel Adams’ zone system?
I vote for the Greenwashing of the oil companies recently. Their ads are good for laughs lately. Or try the PR page of their websites. ‘Wow, I never knew all that gas I buy was so good for the environment!’
<<<Originally posted by Tigrkitty:
Cortislim
Are you tired of losing meaningless weight?
WTF does that mean? Isn’t weight loss weight loss? How can it be meaningless?>>>
Because it doesn’t have your ex-wife attached to it (BA DA BOOM!)
“Isn’t it amazing how facts bring the truth to life?”
I just heard this on the local NBC station advertising the news. First he told a story about Jesse Owens and the Olympics.
Doesn’t exactly fit the thread, but I thought it was funny.