What about Alf? He was hella cuter than ET, despite the kitten fetish.
Me, I’d strap ET’s ass to a bike and charge people for rides. Pay him in Reese’s. If that didn’t show him what the world is really like, he’s too dumb to be flying around in space and landing on other people’s planets.
(“Look, buddy, the glowy finger will cost you extra, so don’t make him too happy.”)
Hasn’t E.T. already been to a hospital?
I could regurgitate an essay about how aliens featured in sci-fi films supposedly relate to the society in which they were created and really represent foreigners invading America and the collective attitude towards this concept at the time the film was made, but I really don’t feel like it.
I’d take him to an opera. Just to see if he explodes. If he wants to see what the world is really like, he can watch the news.
Hooters
I’d show him the DC area:
The Government and what it means Capitol, White House, State Dept. for our place in the World, Smithsonian for our History, NASA HQ to talk shop - take him around to some of the Emabasy’s too for their POV.
I’d show him some of the poorer areas, maybe like a Russian premier '60’s style trip to the West Dinner with a local working class African American Family and lunch with a Hispanic Immigrant family.
I’d be sure to show him the MD and NoVa Suburbs and say most of Middle class America lives more or less like this.
I’d take him to a Nationals/Redskins/Wizards Game whoever was playing.
Then I’d write a book about it all to cash in.