E.T. comes to visit: Where do you take him?

In My Humble Opinion
1

This was a question that my boss’ son had for an essay for a college. I was something like “if an alien came to Earth, where would you take him to explain the world to him?”

My boss asked me what I would put for that essay and I told her truthfully that I would just BS it and write what I thought the college would like to hear. But that idea has been bouncing around my head for a while.

Where would you take them that showed how the Earth really is? Where would you take them to see the darker side of our planet? Where would you look to find the best in humanity? What places in your own country would be the best for this?

2

If it was E.T.? The deep freeze. I can’t be the only one freaked out by E.T.

Is it too much of a cliche to take him to Ground Zero? That would be a real downer. No, I wouldn’t take him there.

I’d take him to the Natural History Museum. Show him our roots.

And then maybe I’d take him here, because even aliens need a pick me up in the form of cupcakey goodness every now and then.

3

It would be Pasaquan.

4

We’re going to Disneyland. :smiley:

5

To the Natural History Museum, where they can dissect him.

OK, seriously - a museum tour of London, followed by an evening at the theatre. A musical, I think.

6

Glue factory!

7

Butcher shop.

ALIEN BBQ RIBS! MMMMM! Them’s good eatin’!

8

I’d take E.T. to a biker bar. After that, international relations wouldn’t need much explanation.

9

ET goes home.

Drop him into the crocodile pit at the local zoo?

10

Zoggie, I’m with you. I never liked E.T. I’d just send him home.

11

The Smithsonian Institution (where we’d be met by a group of NASA scientists I’d sold him to), or I’d show him the video of the Roswell Alien Autopsy and watch him freak while I played with scissors.

12

Eh, I’d just chuck him in the basement with the others.

13

Honestly, I’d take him to some third-world major city in which there is both massive wealth (true opulence) next to massive poverty (Calcutta-style horrors).

That’s the world.

Joe

14

\ET and I would be taking a quick visit to eBay. Oh yes ET, it’s perfectly normal for me to post your picture on an auction site with a starting bid of $10,000. That’s how we welcome our otherworldly visitors.

15

This is the best response. You win the thread.

16

Yes! I’m glad others aren’t feeling the E.T. love.

But I thought of another response. If I had to bring him somewhere, I’d take him to the zoo and then the aquarium so he could learn about man’s inhumanity to animal. (And so he could see the wonder that are beluga whales!)

17

To a strip club, of course!

18

Being that I live in Pennsylvania, I’d take him to Hershey Park and stuff him full of Reese’s Pieces. Then take him on some roller coasters. I have always wondered if aliens can vomit.

19

How about a hospital? There you can see mankind in all it’s facets; grieving at loss, joy at a birth, fighting to save another person’s life. You’d see the wounds incurred by stupidity, rage or random event and diseases caused by self abuse or fate. You’d see people resigned to their situations as well as those struggling to not give up. The psychiatric ward would show how our psyches go haywire and the people who try to help. I think a hospital would be a perfect microcosm of man.

Either that or locked in a basement where I charge people who want to see alien pornography and possibly Rishathra.

20

I have no love for the malformed little naked mole rat calling himself an alien either. E.T. was creepy. But, he was the only alien I could think of that was well known and all that.