Locro (Peruvian Potato Soup)
Put a tablespoon of butter into a pot and put some heat under it. About a half-inch of the little blue flame if you have a gas stove; medium to medium-low setting if electric.
A tablespoon is about a half-inch off the end of the stick.
Take a medium onion (the size of a small woman’s fist) and cut both ends off. The root and and the stem end, I mean. Now cut it in half lengthwise. Now peel off the skin…the BROWN stuff. Chop the onion. (Slice both halves across the grain first, as if you were going to put the slices on a cheeseburger. Now turn the onion 90 degrees and cut through it again. You should now have little teeny squares of onion.)
Put the onion in the melted butter and let it sizzle (not too loud) while you get the garlic ready. Oh, you can put a couple of shakes of salt, black pepper, and paprika in with that onion while you go on.
Take two cloves of garlic (not heads, cloves) and cut off the root and stem ends, like you did with the onion. Crush the cloves with the side of your knife; this makes it easier to get the peel off. Now chop up the crushed cloves like you did with the onion. You don’t have to worry about getting the pieces REALLY small, this is going to cook for a long time. You’ll get better at it with practice, like bowling. Now put the garlic in the pot with the onion.
Peel a pound of potatoes. That would be two good-sized Idahoes, also known as Russets. If the potatoes at the store aren’t plainly labeled, ask the produce manager. You don’t want Maine potatoes or California Long Whites or Red potatoes. “Good-sized” means the kind you’d expect to find on your side dish if you ordered a $30 sirloin at a good steakhouse. “Peel” means to remove the brown outer skin with the aid of a “potato peeler.” They sell those at the grocery store, too, for less than a buck, and they make the job much easier than trying to do it with a knife. Now cut the peeled potatoes into smallish chunks. Put them in the pot with the seasoned onion and garlic.
Add enough water to cover the potatoes. Bring to a boil. (Large bubbles rising from bottom of pot; you may want to turn up the heat to accomplish this in a decent amount of time.) Now reduce the heat so that the liquid comes down to a simmer (small teensy weensy bubbles) Put the lid on the pot and go away and do something else for two hours. Better yet, three hours.
Now go back and check. The potatoes should fall apart when you poke them with a spoon. Mix in a half cup of milk or half-and-half (about a juice glassful) and some grated cheese…cheddar is fine, Monterey Jack is better, queso blanco is best. Not too much, a smallish handful. If you don’t have a grater, cut it up into teeny chunks. Stir until the cheese melts. Taste the soup to see if you put in enough salt and pepper.
Serve at once, either alone or with a platter of avocado slices. This should make enough soup to feed both you and your girlfriend, who will be terribly impressed by you and may offer you oral sex afterward.
