What conscience?
Have you read the book? Her conscience speaks to her for much of it; hence, why it’s more “interior” and therefore an important piece of the story which doesn’t translate easily to film. Take away all the interior monologue and the movie Gilbert, from all accounts in this thread, is a whiny, vapid, pretentious woman.
Watch her TED talk. She doesn’t come across like that whatsoever IRL.
This movie caused the one and only time my ex apologized to me during our entire relationship. You could switch the male/female roles in this movie and it would be a lifetime movie of the week, her behavior was incredibly selfish, self absorbed and narcissistic. Put it all together and cunt just about covers it. So far nobody defending has addressed the whole “if a man had done this nobody would be defending him” issue.
Fine, I’ll dig up the link I’ve posted in previous discussions on this - here’s a review discussing what the male-written version would be like. And here’s the parody version, titled “Drink, Play, Fuck.” Frankly, I’ve never been interested in almost any of the books/movies mentioned in this thread, including “Bridges of Madison County” or the title work.
It seems that one problem with the movie, as pointed out previously, is that trying to show internalized thought processes on screen almost never works out well - not to mention the ever-present problem of trying to compress a book into a couple-hour story.
And it seems like the author might have gotten a bit wrapped up in talking about her travelogue and was a tad too light on setting up how she got to that point.
This thread is bizarre. I didn’t read the book or see the movie but it looks like quite a few people who are calling Gilbert a cunt also didn’t read the book or see the movie. WTF?
Also bizarre is the notion that people can’t fall out of love; they must have never been in love in the first place. Therefore, they shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. Really? Like love is some sort of rational cost/benefit analysis or that people are the same 6 years later or people never, ever misrepresent themselves before they get married, etc. etc. The worst is the idea that even if that person changed and/or the other one fell out of love, they have to stay together in a marriage and “work it out”. What is there to work out if you don’t love someone anymore? Completely falling out of love is quite different from having issues that make it difficult for a couple to get along. Those you can find solutions and work thing out. Otherwise, how exactly do you remodel your brain to fall back in love? Oh, and please don’t tell me about how true love should last forever. So I suppose this Gilbert was supposed to doom herself AND her husband for the rest of their lives?
Dio is one of the few (and maybe others, he just stands out) who actually watched the movie and is ascribing her cuntishness to her flippant attitude to the whole thing. That is reasonable. Apparently, however, the book describes her as feeling very guilty.
Now anyone who thinks she’s a cunt because she’s a spoiled, rich woman who wouldn’t know suffering if…well, I can get on board with that. 
I suspect that details such as turning her romp with a man much older than the real Gilbert into one with a current heart-throb younger than Roberts didn’t help - and that is not something the producers/director/etc did not “realize”, it’s something done on purpose.
Btw, link to a previous thread on this movie.
I’ve tried to make it pretty clear that I’m only talking about the movie. I have to say that the movie did not make me want to read the book, especially if the movie is an accurate representation of how the author views Eastern spirituality.
Yep.
And this is the start of the review Ferret Herder linked to:
[INDENT]As I enter my 30s, I find myself emotionally unsatisfied. I have achieved professional success as a writer, I own a new house, and my wife is ready to have kids, but somehow it all just feels wrong in a way I can’t quite identify. Thus befuddled—and given to random jags of weeping and self-pity—I elect to assuage my unhappiness by shacking up with a cuter, younger writer-actress woman from New York.
Soon, I come to love the cute, young writer-actress in a way I could never love my wife[/INDENT]
Yeah, people can do what they want. People can get a new spouse anytime they get bored with the old one.
What I want to do is think those people are usually shallow and misguided. What’s wrong with feeling that way?
I think the issue here is that people are judging Elizabeth Gilbert the person as opposed to Elizabeth Gilbert the character in a movie. Sure, sounds like the way she was portrayed in the movie wasn’t great. But that’s not who she actually is, if you believe the way she portrays herself in the book.
Re: what if a man did it? I think you guys are right–there is a double standard. That doesn’t make it right. If a man found himself in the same situation she did, unhappy in his marriage, depressed, and basically lost, I would think he should do the same thing Gilbert did. Leave the spouse before you waste more of their time, before you cause even more damage to both of you and heaven forbid any unwanted children.
I think he should sack the fuck up and be a man.
So honestly, if your wife fell out of love with you, and was really unhappy despite counseling, etc., you’d want her to stay? You’d want to be married to someone who didn’t love you?
I sure wouldn’t.
If you don’t love somebody, don’t marry them.
Besides, she didn’tr fall out of love with the guy. A magic voice told her to leave him.
Nice way to dodge the question.
The “falling out of love” angle is irrelevant since that’s not what happened in the movie. The marriage was fine until she heard the magic voice.
Also, like I’ve said repeatedly, it wasn’t just that she left, but how she left. She was abrubt, cold and capricious about it. It was like buying a new coat to her. She just dumped a nice guy who loved her out of the clear blue sky and with no explanation to go jump in the sack with a guy half her age. And she had the nerve to try to sell it as part of some “spiritual” journey. If a guy dumped his wife out of the blue to go bang some piece of fluff and tried to pass it off as some kind of spiritual obligation, he would not have many defenders.
It’s not really a dodge, marrying someone then going “woops, changed my mind!” puts you in the asshole/cunt category by default.
He can only work with what was presented in the movie,otherwise it is just fan-wanking.
Exactly. Lots of cavalier attitudes about marriage vows expressed in this thread. There are good reasons you recite them in front of friends and family and declare your intentions to the State and your deity of choice. It’s no-joke serious bizness, not 8th grade “going steady.”
Amen to that. If you aren’t ready to promise forever and really mean it, then don’t get married. If you do make the promise, then keep it.
Dudes have said “well, she shouldn’t be forced to stay in a loveless marriage” and they have a point. But to find a guy and have an affair so soon after stinks, especially as it far more likely she started her affair while still married and that’s why she got out of the marriage. Anyone in the dating scene knows that her timeline is rather suspicous.
If a male author had written the book with the same insight and self abuse that Gilbert did, going through the same thought process and growth, I’d have related to him and enjoyed the book as well.
In fact, I suspect this is the key: men don’t tend to let us in on their internal thought process and emotions as much as Liz does. Knowing someone’s motivations and guilt goes a long way to building sympathy for their situation. Certainly male Dopers in loveless marriages have been encouraged to get out,* once we understand where they’re coming from*.
If a male actor played the role of “Les” identical to Liz except for gender in a film identical to this one, I’d think he’s a cunt, too. Because the movie does a terrible job of capturing the inner process that explains the character’s actions.
It’s not.