It’s short notice, but hey, that’s what the internet and priceline are for. Allow me to extend to the two of you an invitation to a San Fancisco dopefest. This will be carried on in a true SF style. I realise you are both busy men, which is why I’m prepared to offer a slight enticement. As you are both aware here is no small ammount of controversy regarding your identities. Someone even suggested that Cecil Adams was merely a pseudonym for Jimmy Hoffa Sr. I am prepared to clear that up once and for all. We are prepared to take picturesof both of you at the Folsom Street Fair. I believe that a picture of the two of you being spanked by a CHP officer, or dancing with 300 pound strippers should clear up any doubts people have. Imagine, living your lives knowing that people will no longer confuse you for each other, or mistake you for a dead union boss.
Plus, I have further incentives. I believe that people will pay forthe opportunity to view these photos. Assuming a $10 viewing fee, with at least 10,000 views, we are looking at a sum of 6 figures. I’m prepared to offer a good 50% of this fee to the two of you to split as you see fitting. This will help reimburse you for your time, and travel expenses.
Mmmm… Sounds like what you’re fishing for is a photo of Jimmy Hoffa! If you get one, don’t sell to to first tabeloid. Hold out for a Time or Newsweek cover, and then you can sell the made-for-TV movie rights.
I could have invited him more gracefully, though. I mailed him a link from a non-dropzone account, figuring not knowing me was probably advantageous, and said “You’re invited.”
It’s like that with gods, though. They don’t respect the people who grovel at their feet.
Oldscrtach, you’re such a dreamer. That’s what I like about you. If neither shows up, we can always take pictures of someone in a tie-dyed shirt and hemp shorts with their head obscured and just say it’s Cecil.
