It’s been two months now since you’ve appeared “live”, rather than just in your columns (which could be written long in advance, after all).
Do you live alone? Will they find you slumped over in your easy chair, TV blaring on the Just Sharks cable channel?
Ask Ed Zotti. (he knows EVERYTHING about Cecil)
Maybe he’s in MPSIMS. You should check. Here, I’ll help you over there.
Oh, sure, like he ever comes here.
OK, 4% of the time, but still bad odds.
Yeah, where the hell is he? I never got personally welcomed! God, you’d think he was imaginary or something!
tshirts, that “welcome” didn’t involve a rubber inner tube and a whole stick of butter, did it?
He IS imaginary. Ed Zotti answers all his mail. And I think that’s a newspaper-contructed nom de plume, too, like Dear Abbey, that they can switch to another writer at any time when the contract runs out.
NOOOOO hides from Wanderlust Your ruining our illusions!
Of COURSE Cecil is real! What would ever make you think different?
It’s just that he’s been very busy lately.
He’s out there somewhere (Nebraska?) searching high and low for the etymology of the term “Street El”. The only thing that the worlds smartest human doesn’t know.
Peace,
mangeorge
I like to occasionally point out that Unca Cece never fully responded, like he said he would, to the numerous errors I pointed out in Cecil’s Lousy Call Letter Answer. I’d like to think that he’s currently somewhere in Europe, researching the files of the International Telecommunications Union, in order to put together his promised reply.
Can I point something out?
Has anyone thought that he may already be here? I mean, the guy is probably undercover, using a user name to quietly lurk and/or post.
Y’all say you want him to go public, but I have a sneaky suspicion he is 007 right now . . .
Whoops, didn’t read the whole thread . . .
Whoever/whatever is writing under the name “Cecil Adams” is probably already here. Infiltration of the forward lines to gather intel, I bethca . . .
He probably has legions of sockpuppets to post under without us knowing. (Is “legions” spelled right? It doesn’t look right.)
I fell off a bike once. Got legions in my elbows and knees.
I’m ok now. 
Peace,
mangeorge
I worry about that happening to myself. Especially when Leno has an all-football-player show. My heart rate goes to 5/min.
Cecils last post:
It’s quite colorful.
ssshhhhh. don’t cry, children. Keep close to me and be very, very quiet. The thing they’ve drawn on the ground? Thats a pentagram…never mind why! They’re jumping around like that because it’s an ancient cleansing ritual and the name they call, Cecil?..better that you forget you ever heard it. Oh, foolish people, why must you tempt the fates?
Cecil Adams:
And it took me weeks of trying just to get that out of him.
Speaking of Ed Zotti, and the answer to this is probably in Vol I of the Canon but I’m too dead-assed to look it up, does anybody remember who was Cecil’s mouthpiece before Ed?
From Cecil Adams’ Book “The Straight Dope”, p. ix (Introduction by Ed Zotti)