Where are you Cecil Adams?

I’m only responding to this thread because in the last aha welcoming thread, I avoided it and didn’t get welcomed!

Where are you Unca Cece? :slight_smile:

-Sam

Good idea, GaWd. I’m with you.

I’d just like to point out that it is the official position of the Straight Dope that,
A, the name “Cecil Adams” is, in fact, a pseudonym, for purposes of privacy
B, there is only one person who uses that pseudonym, and that same person is the only one to have ever used it, and
C, the person who uses the pseudonym “Cecil Adams” posts under that name, and only under that name, on the SDMB.

All of this information comes from administrators of this message board, and as Cecil’s official representatives, I believe them, as a person who’s dedicated his life to the eradication of ignorance would not allow the deliberate misleading of the teeming millions by his official representatives.

Not that I have any stance on the opinions posted by you, but how does a poster I’ve seen once or twice posting around me speak for the entire board?

-Sam

I don’t speak for the whole board, I’m repeating what I’ve heard from administrators, who do. I can try to dig up the threads where the information comes from, but it might take a while.

Gotcha.

The scene: a seacoast somewhere in New England. It is dark, and clear, and the stars are aligned just so. There are ruins in the background- words like 'cyclopean" and 'Non-euclidian" come to mind. Ther is a strange, unearthly, otherworldly, maniacal piping. Drums, of some forgotten mulatto tribe beat. There is a group of what seems to be cultists on the cliff, they are dressed in gowns with strange symbols. Some of them seem not quite human. They are chanting; slowly, monotonously, but with great power. You strian your ears to make out the sounds, and it comes to you, and your mind reels with the revealed madness… “seeesill, seeesilll, Ceesill! CEEESIL! CECIL!”

laughs Daniel… thats just hilarious! is glad she wasn’t taking a sip of her cola when she read that

Do we know what the big guy likes to drink after work?

Maybe we can lure him in. I got a case of Special Reserve right here!

Im surprised none of you ran a phone book search, cuz in his area, there are about 7 people with the name of Cecil Adams!

Cecil is…Everywhere.

Like the sun .
Like the moon.
Like the big pizza pie.

That’s amor’e. :slight_smile:

Cosmic , dude.

Like …WOW! :eek: :wally

I can see this. But just because he doesn’t post, doesn’t mean he’s not here. I personally think he’s playing this for all the publicity he can. Why would you pop up and say howdy, when ya don’t have to? I think he’s sitting back just waiting for the right moment to pop up and lavish us with a simple few wise words.

On the other hand, he may just pop up and call me an idiot for analyzing this too deeply.

Right behind ya, GaWd.

Come on, Cecil. I know I can count on you.

(I’m trying to look like the pathetic little Timmy-boy laid up in the hospital, begging the Yankee to hit a home run for me that day.)

May I be the first to officially pass up the “get thee behind me” joke?

Besides, such a transparent maneuver would never work. Cecil is much too intelligent to fall for a ploy like that. Much, much too intelligent, and savvy, and wise. Just too well educated in the ins and outs of the world, in a way I could only dream of some day approaching near enough to recognize it from a distance. Too much of an unadulterated genius, the likes of which this sorry sphere will never see again. The kind of mind that comes along once in an aeon; a man whose greatness will only fully be appreciated by the Unwashed Masses in some great cosmic confluence many generations hence. Yes, Cecil Adams, the gweat and tewwible, the Emperor of Ice Cream… He’d never be fooled by such a ridiculous trick.

<sigh; ah, Cecil>

You crack me up. I bet he greets Timmy now and not you!

::kicks Timmy out of hospital bed and desperately tries to look sick, and 10::

[thinly veiled play on original “get thee behind me” joke ON]

** scene: **A Mexican Jail cell. Two deviates who’ve been “without woman” for some time are demanding your pants…

Suddenly, the Jailer approaches with bible in-hand and starts chanting “Get Beeeehind me Satan! Get beeeeeehind me!!”

He then begins to construct an elaborate scheme to defraud of your cash for saving you…

[thinly veiled play on original “get thee behind me” joke OFF]

I know, it’s totally lame, and Cece won’t give me the time of day after that one, but I 'spose it’s better than my originall attmept at getting welcomed…

-Sam

Well, if this is the official Cecil suck-up thread, count me in. I was lurking the last time and missed it completely. Dammit.

I want a personal welcome (she says in her oh-so-sweet Southern drawl).

Im going to settle this issue once & for all. According to the US trademark office, it was a trademark & oh, so sorry to anyone who thinks he was a real person:

Word Mark
CECIL ADAMS
Goods and Services
(ABANDONED) IC 016. US 038. G & S: NEWSPAPER COLUMN. FIRST USE: 19730202.
FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19730202
Mark Drawing Code
(1) TYPED DRAWING
Serial Number
73631921
Filing Date
November 24, 1986
Owner
(APPLICANT) CHICAGO READER, INCORPORATED CORPORATION ILLINOIS P.O.
BOX 11101, FORT DEARBORN STATION CHICAGO ILLINOIS 60611
Type of Mark
TRADEMARK
Register
PRINCIPAL-2(F)
Other Data
CECIL ADAMS DOES NOT IDENTIFY ANY PARTICULAR INDIVIDUAL BUT WAS
DEVISED AS A FANCIFUL NAME
Live/Dead Indicator
DEAD
Abandonment Date
March 29, 1989

Sure, handy. Uh-huh. Thanks for those “facts.”

I suppose there’s no God, Santa Claus or Easter Bunny, either.