Where are you Cecil Adams?

[winky99]

I suppose there’s no God, Santa Claus or Easter Bunny, either.

Hmmm…so how long until this is a great debate?

[Shadenwawa]

I better get in here, just in case. I missed him last time.

-S

[dropzone]

Thank you, Arnold.

Daniel, when this Ceecil appears is he an inchoate horror leaving a trail of antedilluvian ichor, but when it gets down to actually describing him the author isn’t good enough to say more than he is “indescribable?”

[tshirts]

Isn’t that bureauocracy for you?

The name is “fanicful”, but they still have to know if he’s “Living or Dead?”.

But, isn’t he a live fanciful character?
A dead one would be The Mummy or something.

[Moleman]

I’m just a new guy, but I have all of Cecil’s books and also loved the TV show when it was on A&E. I’m pretty sure they said on that show that Cecil was a hermit, but if he stops in to say “hi”, I’d say “Count me in!” By the way, I’m looking forward to helping all of you on this board fight ignorance.

[tshirts]

Isn’t that bureaucracy for you?

The name is “fanciful”, but they still have to know if he’s "Living or Dead?”

But, isn’t he a live fanciful character?
A dead one would be The Mummy or something.

[tshirts]

Welcome aboard!

To start right, go to Comments on Cecil’s Columns, Comments on Mailbag answers, or General Questions. That’s where the hard knowledge is. Come here and to IMHO for breaks and banter.

[ChrisP_One_Kenobe]

Did that just say that Cecil doesn’t exist? Can’t be. I refuse to believe it. It isn’t possible…is it?

[iampunha]

Just taking a minute to officially suck up.

Cecil, I have used your words and arguments in arguments of my own. My father refuses to believe a word of what you say, but I have held my belief that you are the most knowledgeable human in existence.

Validate me!

[Ed_Zotti]

Chronos writes:

I’d just like to point out that it is the official position of the Straight Dope that,
A, the name “Cecil Adams” is, in fact, a pseudonym, for purposes of privacy
B, there is only one person who uses that pseudonym, and that same person is the only one to have ever used it, and
C, the person who uses the pseudonym “Cecil Adams” posts under that name, and only under that name, on the SDMB.

All of this information comes from administrators of this message board, and as Cecil’s official representatives, I believe them, as a person who’s dedicated his life to the eradication of ignorance would not allow the deliberate misleading of the teeming millions by his official representatives.

I don’t know who told you all this stuff, but it wasn’t me, and unless you heard it from me (or Cecil), it is not to be relied on. I’m not so sure I’d rely on it even if you did hear it from me, because I’m a chronic liar with a bad memory and a poor grasp of reality, and generally don’t know, don’t care, or can’t remember if what I tell you is true or not.

Except when I say I really really mean it.

Usually.

As for the trademark office - the trademark is abandoned? I tell you true, this is as much a surprise to us as it is to you.

[chique]

May I get in line too, please?

I would really like to be one of the MORE than 19 people personally welcomed by The Great One.

No, not Wayne…Cecil, of course.

:: On knees with head bowed waiting for the tap of the sword ::

[Persephone]

The scene: a seacoast somewhere in New England. It is dark, and clear, and the stars are aligned just so. There are ruins in the background- words like 'cyclopean" and 'Non-euclidian" come to mind. Ther is a strange, unearthly, otherworldly, maniacal piping. Drums, of some forgotten mulatto tribe beat. There is a group of what seems to be cultists on the cliff, they are dressed in gowns with strange symbols. Some of them seem not quite human. They are chanting; slowly, monotonously, but with great power. You strian your ears to make out the sounds, and it comes to you, and your mind reels with the revealed madness… “seeesill, seeesilll, Ceesill! CEEESIL! CECIL!”

Oh nice going, Daniel. Didn’t you read Article IV, Section 3x, Paragraph 7 of the SDMB Cult Handbook, Party Planner & Fundraiser Cookbook? It’s right there, underneath “How to Make the Mother of All Mai-Tais.” You’re not supposed to tell anyone, moron! Now we have to kill you.

Sheesh! Could somebody else get this one? My shoulder is still a little stiff from the last flogging.

[GraceTX]

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by GaWd *
[B[thinly veiled play on original “get thee behind me” joke ON]

** scene: **A Mexican Jail cell. Two deviates who’ve been “without woman” for some time are demanding your pants…

Suddenly, the Jailer approaches with bible in-hand and starts chanting “Get Beeeehind me Satan! Get beeeeeehind me!!”

He then begins to construct an elaborate scheme to defraud of your cash for saving you…

[thinly veiled play on original “get thee behind me” joke OFF]

Don’t forget you have to hold the bible over your head!!

Futon me? Nooooo futon you. Okay so the guy didn’t really say it that way. I’ve just always thought futon sounded like a dirty word.

[Kat]

*Originally posted by Ed Zotti *
I’m not so sure I’d rely on it even if you did hear it from me, because I’m a chronic liar with a bad memory and a poor grasp of reality, and generally don’t know, don’t care, or can’t remember if what I tell you is true or not.

Except when I say I really really mean it.

Usually.

Hey, think that’s too long for a sig line?

::grins at Ed, runs away::

[red_dragon60]

Oh Cecil, Oh you came and you gave me a .sig line,

I will sing the rest if you can find it in your heart to give me one tiny little shout-out.

Please?

[Sunshine]

::: resisting urge to jump on bandwagon…failing miserably :::

I’m hoping Cecil will read my “Sunshine and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Date” thread and feel such pity that he will not only welcome me but also tell me how sorry he is that I suffered such indignity.

[Odieman]

STOP IT PEOPLE!!! My personal welcome by Cecil is the only thing in my life that makes me feel special and now you are trying to take that away !!!
::SNIFF:: I think I’ll sit in the corner and cry. ::SNIFF::

Keith

[FreakFreely]

Maybe it’s like waiting for the bus, he won’t show up until we all light a cigarette.

[Flutterby]

Odieman we don’t want to take it from you… we just wish to have the honour of being met by Cecil as well…

And Freaky I don’t have any cigarettes so could I bum one off you?

[Cecil_Adams_1]

Now what was it that you all wanted?