I dunno what it is. He hasnt posted here in over a year and as this thread
thread states, his reports aren’t as funny as they used to be. 
Kidding, kidding. ::cowers::
Actually I’m just wondering where the big man is hiding, I still find him to be very amusing.
So, if you read this,
Hi Cecil!
Cecil is VERY highly motivated by money. He doesn’t get any additional money for posting here, and he’s something of a technophobe as well. He’s not likely to post here unless it’s something that a) interests him b) amuses him or c) serves some other purpose of his own. He doesn’t actually enjoy posting (I know, he’s missing out, but he doesn’t like cats, either) so you won’t see him around much. He didn’t post much on the old AOL message boards, either.
Lynn
That Capitalist Pig!
::cowers some more::
In many cultures, one way to show your importance is by the length of time you make people wait for your arrival. And we all know that Cecil is a very, very important person. (I find this more comforting to believe than to think that Unca Cece is no longer willing to deign to associate with “those little people” who go without heat and food so they can scratch together enough money to buy his books. Don’t worry about us–I’ll just put another sweater on…)
And when he does show up you have to give him the proper homage…(see signature)
Keith
The most recent post that I remember from Cecil was about four and a half months ago: Dingoes, fairy penguins and other maligned creatues of my home
That might not be the last, as he was quite active (for Cecil) on the board that month.
Whoops!
I’m sorry Unca Cece!
I did not mean to post an untrue fact!
I just did not do good enough research!
Oh god, please don’t beat me!
Actually, the real Cecil has been retired for fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia…
hmmm…"Dread Pirate Cecil…now that could be a good user name…
Cecil’s very latest post: Is Cecil smarter than Ben Stein? (12 October 2000)
Anyone up for a “Where’s Cecil” book series?
Everytime we think we have you pinned down you are spotted somewhere else. Who do you think you are? Elvis?
“Untrue fact”–huh? Inadequate research? Cecil has spent years, lonely years fighting idiocy. Okay, so not all of them were entirely lonely. But the Teeming Millions keep asking questions about sex. Sex, sex, sex. It takes research, damnit. Have some respect for scientific method and dedication, all right?
Cecil isn’t into beating–unless it relates to a valid query, of course. And Slug can get inspired about it. Of course Slug gets his hormones in an uproar over library paste.
Vermin? Cece just sets traps and logs how long it takes the corpses to dissolve in Coke. Better hope he’s too absorbed in research at the moment or your family may end up paying their final respects to an ominously fizzy beaker.
Piously glad I’m not Mercutio,
Veb
Everyone, everyone… I am Cecil’s evil twin, who knows nothing. Just consider me his representative on the Boards. Shower ME with your gifts and money and sex and adoration and worship. And sex.
The way to check on someone’s last post is to go to their profile.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?action=getinfo&username=cecil%20adams
“Is Cecil dead and replaced?”
Excellent assumption & true too. You must know more than almost anyone here. First of all, according to the US Patent & Trademark Office, the mark for “Cecil Adams” is DEAD.
I don’t know if the supers here are covering up for this fact or not, however, as it’s a frequent subject & also public knowledge, being it can be found in the trademark database, but the registration of “Cecil Adams” is DEAD
& has been since March 29, 1989.
Why people, especially the supers here continue to assume that the mark is ALIVE, is beyond me. The exact proof of this is located in the US Patent & TradeMark office & I do provide this information if you don’t believe me:
Word Mark
CECIL ADAMS
Goods and Services
(ABANDONED) IC 016. US 038. G & S: NEWSPAPER COLUMN. FIRST USE: 19730202.
FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19730202
Mark Drawing Code
(1) TYPED DRAWING
Serial Number
73631921
Filing Date
November 24, 1986
Owner
(APPLICANT) CHICAGO READER, INCORPORATED CORPORATION ILLINOIS P.O.
BOX 11101, FORT DEARBORN STATION CHICAGO ILLINOIS 60611
Attorney of Record
RICHARD H. COMPERE
Type of Mark
TRADEMARK
Register
PRINCIPAL-2(F)
Other Data
CECIL ADAMS DOES NOT IDENTIFY ANY PARTICULAR INDIVIDUAL BUT WAS
DEVISED AS A FANCIFUL NAME
Live/Dead Indicator
DEAD
Abandonment Date
March 29, 1989
As to how or where he was ‘resurrected’, Im sure Lynn would be happy to tell us 
You know, on his last few posts he did sound weakly.
It is possible Cecil snagged himself a plain old user name and is posting in the guise of an ordinary member. He could be any one of us! DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNN (loud, reverberating tones). . .
You mean, he’d be a sock puppet? Let’s try to find him! :o
(Of course, if you suspect anyone is or has a sock puppet, you’re supposed to notify the moderators and administrators, rather than outing them publicly.)
I thought he did have another name. Ed something.
Handy, you sucker. Just shows that Unca Cece is a lot smarter then J.D. Salinger. He plans ahead.
When Cece’s teenager lover writes a tell-all book about his bizarre sexual fetishes and diet, he can send Little Ed out to say, “The book is obviously bunk. Look at this Trademark application - Cecil doesn’t exist!! Now, I hope that’s the last we here of these ridiculous allegations.”
Sheer brilliance.
Sua
Sigh. It was inevitable. I almost posted, “handy will be along any minute with his old Cecil-trademark schtick”. Totally unwarranted optimism led me to hope that for once, maybe just once you wouldn’t leap upon your favorite hobby horse and ride it into the ground. Odd how it’s one of the very few topics that motivates you to a complete response rather than your usual 1-2 line drive-by posts.
It’s beyond me why you’re so obsessed with the trademark status and read a willful conspiracy into it. Get a grip, willya? Someone writes under the name Cecil Adams; you may have noticed the columns here? Or the books? They’re still around and they’re still produced under the name Cecil Adams. They exist.
It’s not unprecedented for an author’s name to be used by a stable of rotating ghostwriters. Is that deliberate fraud or a hideous conspiracy? Only if you’re intent on viewing it that way. I have no idea who actually writes Cecil’s columns. And I don’t care. They’re fun, informative and some of the best, funky debunking around. The “dead” status at the trademark office somehow fails to render the worthwhile, ongoing Straight Dope null and void.
If it does for you, your loss. You aren’t blowing the lid off of some vast, ominous conspiracy. Get some perspective, already. Heck, just rent some perspective.
Sheesh. This is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Veb