I know the answer …
CA was not only “removed with extreme prejudice” by the cigarette smoking man, but was also REPLACED by him.
Now, this doesn’t mean the Cecil is dead, but he might be part of an ongoing experiment 33 levels below Area 51.
Now that I have revealed THE TRUTH, even tho’ it seems to be Out There, I will have to kill you all.
Well I for one find the existence of Cecil a heckuva lot more plausible than this supposed handy character. 
Actually, Cecil is really a sentient grove of trees in New England. They bio-engineered a T-3 line into it’s cellular systems, which is how it communicates with everyone. Apparently, the larger the grove of trees, the smarter it becomes.
Golly, TVeblen. I’m amazed to see a moderator, of all people, admitting that Cecil is a committee or a ghostwriter and not an individual. I thought you were all onboard with the myth.
OK, OK, we will nag Cecil again and see if we can get him to post a bit. As Lynn says, he dislikes it, but every so often we can push him.
TVeblen, drive by posting? I like that idea. FYI, I did a fresh search for Cecil marks just a minute before that post.
It might be old to you; but you haven’t nor has anyone else explained about the mark registration. If you can answer why they dropped the mark in '89 & if they have a new one, I’d be most happy to read.
No, I don’t think its a conspiracy, as a matter of fact, there are at least 4 people in IL with the name of “Cecil Adams” which verifies such a person exists.
This isn’t the first time you’ve been accused of being a drive-by poster. Of course, the last time you simply ignored it.
I’m not admitting anything for the simple, cogent reason I don’t KNOW–or care a damn. I haven’t the faintest idea who Cecil is; never met the man, though he did (smirk) once mention me in one of his rare posts.
On my list of things to worry about, this doesn’t even make the top ten grand. Sheesh, it’s perfectly possible to enjoy the hell outta something fun and worthwhile without dissecting it into quivering goo. Don’t know and don’t care.
Tell ya what, handy, if you want to pitch technicolor hissy fits over trademarks, have a ball. I somehow never assumed my mere presence here entitled me to demand explanations about the inner workings of The Reader and the SD. They provide the place–for free. If you assume more entitlements, your choice.
Veb
Why are you being such a s about this.
It’s interesting information.
It’s apparently true.
And you’re going out of your way to make a federal case that it should never be discussed, at all, ever?
That’s not right.
Umm, no, Wild Card, she’s not being such a s (?) about this. She’s being such a s (?, again) about handy’s crusade to reveal that the name Cecil Adams has been trademarked. She doesn’t care. I don’t care. 10,000 other dopers don’t care.
I guess I’m one of the other 2937 posters who find Cecil trivia fascinating.
Actually, I’m guessing the total would be nearly everybody here but you.
Well, as TVeblen notes, we moderators don’t know anything more about Cecil than the rest of the members. However, the very fact that we don’t know says something right there. It’s all well and good to claim that the “Cecil” answers are all ghostwritten by his staff, but we moderators are all on his staff, and I can say with certainty that I, for one, have never ghostwritten one of Cecil’s articles, nor have I been approached to do so, despite having written a few Staff Reports and being approached constantly for more. Perhaps there’s some other secret staff? Then what’s the purpose of the publicly-acknowledged one? It just doesn’t add up.
The simplest explanation is that there is a single person, who writes under the name “Cecil Adams” (which is probably, admittedly, a pseudonym, and hence trademarkable), who happens to have phenomenal intelligence, insight, and research skills and who works for the Chicago Reader.
Well, I thought that I might be looking for him in an incorrect area of the Trademark Office & that I should search for him another way, but why bother if people just going to get all pissy about it? I’d rather just ask Ed what he thinks.
Montfort: The word you are looking for me, perhaps, is ‘Laconic’? I love that word.
This not being the Pit, handy, I’ll politely avoid using the word I was looking for in reference to you.
And, if you want to know, you know where to ask.
And he’s humble, too, on some subconscious level. He works for the Chicago Reader.
Moderators work for Ed Zotti, on behalf of the Chicago Reader, and therefore have no reason to have contact with either Cecil or Slug. Cecil is a bit of a recluse and he values his privacy, and he doesn’t want every stupid newspaper interviewer in the country sticking a microphone in his face and asking, “Are you really the world’s smartest person?” … Nor does he want some of the people whom he’s insulted to be able to get his address.
Ed says that Cecil gets a real kick out of the speculation.
While Cecil does enlist the help of various researchers (some of whom get credited in specific columns, some of whom do not), he does it all. Many of the questions that he doesn’t want to tackle himself, for whatever reason, he gives to Staff for possible use in a Staff Report. Since I do some of the admin for the Staff Reports, I can state very firmly that Staff Reports are written by Staff and edited by Ed, and Cecil has no involvement (with perhaps one or two exceptions.)
Actually, what they don’t want you to know is that Cecil did die in a car crash on Wednesday, March 23rd, 1997. Since then, a look-alike has been acting out the role of Cecil Adams, both in regular appearances and in the writing of the column.
All of this is explained in detail through the ‘clues’ found in the cover art of the Straight Dope Books. For example, on the cover of “More of The Straight Dope” is an obvious picture of Elvis, used to represent the opposite of Cecil, in the sense that Elvis is alive but everyone thinks he’s dead, while Cecil is dead but everyone thinks he’s alive. The other pictures also contain elements of the story- the punch on the nose represents the steering wheel impacting Cecil’s face and causing his death, the three people eating Spaghetti O’s represent Ed Zotti (the Roman), The Devil (the weird French-kind-of-looking guy), and the International Opium Conspiracy (the Oriental) all making a pact over dinner to hide Cecil’s death from a public that couldn’t take the news.
Want more clues? Buy the books, and you’ll be able to find them out for yourself. But Cecil’s death is a well known fact to all true Teeming Millions.
[sub]Cranberry sauce.[/sub]
“Nor does he want some of the
people whom he’s insulted to be able to get his address.”
I must concur with that.
Hmm, a tragic event like this would be a public record. Cite, please? (I thought so…)
Not to cast doubt on your veracity, but of course Cecil never makes personal appearances. So, where is he making these so-called appearances? In your dreams? Visions? Hallucinations?
Elvis? That’s clearly Waylon Jennings!
Again, not Elvis, but Waylon, who is famous for giving up his seat to The Big Bopper on the 3-stars-death-plane. Thus, this is symbolic of Cecil’s continuing good health. (Anyway, this cover dates back to 1988, so you’re claiming it foretells Cecil’s demise 9 years later.)
Unca Cece’s 1999 dedication in Triumph of the Straight Dope reads: To Little Ed, in hopes that someday we’ll be able to figure out what it is with him, bratwurst, and rain. If that doesn’t complete disprove these silly “Cecil is dead” rumors, then I don’t know what will. (Also, how do you explain the drawing of turkey-Cecil blowing smoke rings on the cover of The Straight Dope Tells All?)
I buried Cecil.
your humble TubaDiva
The walrus was CKDexterHaven.